COB

The draft is finally close. For fun dig up an old clip of Irwin Mainway on SNL touting his Bag O’ Glass child’s toy. Then watch Mel Kiper excitedly explaining the potential of a 6th round returner/receiver from Arkansas A&M. Basically the same person.

Where’s freak athlete track star who freaked people out at the combine but hasn’t played much football?

Walter Nolan is looking more and more likely. I’ve never heard any substance to some vague character rumors that were floated a few months ago. The character rumors were basically that he is not of good character, that was it. Not sure how good your character needs to be to play defensive line in the nfl. Like if you are part violent maniac, that might actually be good. IF you can channel it and shut it off when needed.

Watching Aaron Rodgers jerk the Steelers around is turning into the highlight of the off season. A week out from the draft, and darn, Aaron can’t decide if he wants to play or not. He’ll work it out if he can find some cameras and a live microphone.

I was reading about Adeniji going to the cowboys. I didn’t have my glasses on, was squinting to read. One of those ads that is just inserted in the middle of the story appeared with a hot looking woman in a video talking. It was enough to make me put my glasses on and to my horror it was not some hot babe but instead was America’s wise cracking sitcom granny, Reba McIntyre.

They cut a starter in the line and have not replaced him. That is the hole. There is a hole in our line.

I just read that Myles Murphy, as part of his off season improvement plan, gave up eating cereal. Anything that results in more Lucky Charms for me is a good thing, so kudos to you Myles Murphy.

I wish I had your confidence in our FO. Because ignoring terrible interior o-linemen is exactly what they’ve been doing for years. one example - we had Arguably the worst starting guard in the nfl, worthy of being outright cut at the end of the season. But they started him all year, didn’t upgrade or even try if I recall correctly. Then, in a move that confirms they knew how bad he was, they cut him. If you have an inkling what their plan is, I’d love to hear it. Because they, justifiably, cut the starter from last year. I hope Lucas Patrick is the answer, but we have to be realistic about him, he’s 31 coming off a season ending knee injury. As far as filling the hole with one of our depth guys - none of them could displace Alex Cappa last year, and Cappa struggled. That’s surely not their plan.

Judkins runs with a ton of attitude. Loved watching him, but we need both sides of the line, linebackers, and a safety more than we need a running back. It would make zero sense to take a guy in the 2nd round.

That’s exactly who this mock had us picking, Jihad Campbell. Out of Bama, torn labrum. Torn labrum’s are common overuse injury. One of our tackles from bama had the same injury.

I just read a mock, I think it was Kiper’s, had us taking a pretty good linebacker in the first round. If that happens, we have either settled with Trey or we’re getting a diamond in the rough edge in the second.

Flacco’s agent was just on the tube, he said Joe will be moving into a nice quiet assisted living facility in the Cleveland area. It’s really happening, Flacco to the Browns.

Yep, I think they plan on playing him. He ran their offense way better than the Massage Bandit ever did.

Browns pull Joe Flacco off the embalming table and sign him to play qb in 2025. In Columbus, House republicans immediately introduce bill to provide public funds to pay Flacco’s contract.

Is the draft ever going to get here? JFC, from the season’s end to the time the draft rolls around you could give birth, raise the kid, let him play high school and college football, and actually get him drafted.

Cameron Sample - missed all of ‘24 with a torn Achilles. That was the final year of his rookie deal. He is going to give it a try this year on a one year, 1.2 million dollar deal he signed in March. Hopefully things work out for him but that’s a tough injury to overcome.

I’m so old it takes me a year to find posts in Bengalszone. I’ve never heard this before and I liked it. Also, there was a great comment with it: “Perfect for working out or finally showing your stepdad, Rick, who the man of the house really is.”

I don’t mind helping to pay for a business’ overhead, of course I’ll be getting some of the profits in return.

Could be a special teamer, he’s done some of that.

0-0, bottom of the 9th, the tribe pulls off the win. (A single to lead off the inning, then 3 straight walks and the winning run walks across the plate).

Opening day at the mistake. The white Sox threw a rookie out there and of course he’s no-hitting us through four innings. Were terrible.

Dude, what? No favorite funeral home? Are you even a human being? You should run over to my other message board funeralhomezone.com. I have about 8000 posts on funeralhomezone.com where we just talk about our favorite funeral homes - what makes them good what makes them bad. My favorite is McPeek funeral home in the little town I live in. I’ve changed the name so that you guys don’t doxx the funeral home but basically it’s in a creepy old house right in town and that’s all it is, just an old house. Like it’s in this dude’s house, he and his wife actually live there. So for a funeral you just go into this old house. You hang your coat up in the foyer. Then you go straight back to the living room and the deceased is laid out there in the living room and you go in there and kind of stand around in a sort of awkward way for a couple minutes. There is a parlor right off the living room. There’s usually a few old ladies in there crying so you stand there and look at them and they look at you. Then you glance at the deceased (try not to stare), and you’re thinking, “damn, he looks like shit,” and then you’re like “yea he looks like shit, he’s fucking dead.” Then you walk back out to the foyer to get your coat. But before you can leave you usually bump into someone you know coming in. So you hang out with this dude for a few minutes, pretty soon he goes, “Dan’s is open,” Dan’s is the bar that is about 50 feet down the sidewalk from McPeek funeral home. So basically everyone ends up over there for a few drinks or whatever. Then by the time you get home your wife is like, “What’d you do, go to Dan’s afterwards?” And you’re like, “Yep, ran into Dave Marston at McPeeks and we went over.” And she says, “Oh, I just saw Dave’s nephew, he got a job down at the IGA.” And you go, “Yea, he mentioned that.”

Columbus had a protest downtown yesterday. Not trying to be political but there was a guy there holding a protest sign that read, “OLIGARGLE MY BALLS.”

Social etiquette question: say you are reading the obituaries on your local funeral home’s website. You come across an obit for someone you don’t know but there is a family in your town with that last name (let’s say it’s Miller, it’s not, but for illustration purposes) and they’re all crazy as shit. Even though everyone else is leaving comments like, “Uncle Dave was a bright light,” and “Dave can rest easy in heaven after he fought so hard against cancer,” is it ok to leave a comment asking, “I didn’t know Dave, but with that last name, I mean, you know. Was he one of THOSE Millers?”