COB

FWIW, I’m desperate to prove myself.

At least they did something. Signing a top tier guy, as we all knew, was not going to happen. So this is about as good as it gets for us. Looking forward to watching these guys play, hopefully they’ll be desperate to prove themselves.

JFM would be a gigantic upgrade. Mike’s granddaughters must have put the work in on JFM. Stud running back Kenneth Walker to the Chiefs. They cleared a shit load of cap space by redoing Mahomes deal, now they are deploying that money.

Fucking bullshit.

The Bengals front office core strategy - the players have decisions to make, and the bengals have decisions to make.

You mean like last off season? ‘24 defense was one of the worst in the league so they went out and attacked. Unfortunately, what they attacked was common sense and reason. They did nothing. Result,- worst defense in the league. So this year they really mean it! They’re going to go out and get those players! Right.

“How does everything get worse all the time?”

It is pretty hard to believe the bengals would make anything but a performative inquiry about trading for Crosby.

Allegedly Jamar put up a reaction thing on a social media platform, I’m not sure which. Anyway a portion of it was him saying, “we lost this blankety blank to the Ravens?!” The implication being that the Bengals were trying to trade for Crosby. If true, very off-brand of Mike to try a big off season trade, very on-brand of him to not only fail but watch a division rival eat his lunch. Lot to ruminate about while sitting in the golf cart this August.

Fucking Ravens. So now our QB gets to deal with TJ Watt twice a year, Myles twice a year, and Maxx Crosby twice a year. Brutal. The Ravens are pushing all their chips in here in the second half of Lamar’s career. It’s a pretty serious window and firing Harbaugh showed they weren’t playing, they want championships.

Once I read up on restructuring a contract I knew it was a no go. Basically, the team converts a chunk of salary to a signing bonus. The problem from Mike’s perspective: instead of paying the player his money per the contract, you take a significant % of his contract and pay it to him right now. And, that bonus you paid him is essentially guaranteed money, money you now made guaranteed on a non guaranteed contract.

On one hand, I think when Mike reads these free agent signing salaries he gets irate and shakes his fist at an uncaring universe. On the other hand, and I think this is likely the reality, he reads them and doesn’t care. I envision the following: the dark triad knows what they need in free agency and the draft. The first thing they do is the math. Katie was a math major at Dartmouth. So they determine, we need FA linebacker, we’ll pay 6 million a year, we need free agent d-tackle, we’ll pay 5 million a year, etc. I think they slot the money first, so they know their total outlay will be X number of dollars, no matter what. Then they just wait to see who will accept the money they’re offering. If it’s the best free agent at the position, that’s great! If it’s the 7th best free agent at the position, that’s not great but they are still signing that guy. Duke’s job really isn’t all that involved when you look at it from that perspective. It also resonates with having, by far, the smallest scouting staff in the league. Why spend a bunch on scouts when you aren’t pursuing specific players you’ve identified based on talent and ability, you aren’t pursuing specific guys. You are pursuing a position and a salary. Other teams can jump ahead, outbid you whatever. Doesn’t matter. The Brown family maintains fiscal discipline to maximize their own financial return. That’s it, that’s all.

It’s pretty clear there’s some supernatural stuff going on with Mike. He’s immortal, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

The Bengals aren’t in the business of making other football teams better. That’s how they look at trades.

True, Mike loves showing everyone how he’s the smartest guy in the room.

Same. Already had discectomy and fusion done in my neck. The disc underneath the fusion needs done but I’m holding off as long as I can. Hopefully forever. It’s the same surgery Peyton Manning had.

Ha ha! Spy vs Spy stuff. I have a degenerative ACL. Self diagnosed. In fact every ligament in my body is degenerating. I hereby diagnose Caleb Downs with a degenerative PCL, MCL, and some CLs no one has even heard of. In both knees. And I’m undoubtedly right. Everything in our bodies is degenerative.

Funniest thing I’ve read in weeks.

This is horrible news. Mike will absolutely not sell the team now, not that he would have anyway. But this seals it.

Seriously need to redo burrow’s deal. He’s open to it, and it will free up serious cap space so we can truly be all in. Not just bengals all in, which is truly about two thirds in. It needs to happen pretty soon though, with FA about a week away. I’m glad they didn’t tag Trey. There is just too much ill will there for such a collaborative maneuver to have a realistic chance of succeeding.

Free agency is about a week away. Would be great to see them get some veteran defenders in here.

Reuben Bain, what have you been up to?

I think he could have gotten a two year deal elsewhere, but not likely at 5 mm a year. Looks to me like the Bengals paid a little extra to avoid having to give him that second year.

Correction, the 33” std is for edge guys. Bain is sort of advertised as an edge. I can see him ending up as a d tackle if he can gain some weight. I’m starting to lean towards pass on him. He looks like he’ll be a decent player but I worry that his ceiling is limited.

Reuben Bain has 31” arms. 33” is supposedly the standard for d line guys. Geno Atkins had 32” arms.