COB

Guardians stumbling, and not a good time to be doing so.

Congrats Army. My Alma mater. Also, one sister, one daughter, and various nieces and nephews all graduated from OSU.

Reds are 6 games over .500 and half a game out of the wild card. Guardians are 5 games over .500 and 1.5 games out of the wild card.

The veal’s here all waitress.

Brandon Scherff must not have been healthy. I had a post ready if/when we signed him: “There’s a new Scherff in town.” Or something along the lines of “Scherffing Safari.” Tip your veal.

I can’t wait for the season to start. By the end of last year we were the “team no one wanted to see in the playoffs.” Now, by most indications, we added 3 legit starters in the draft. Slaton looks ok, Perine is back, RB1 looks like he just fell out of the PED cabinet. And Burrow. PS - fake game reps have us looking indomitable. And our division? Ha! Browns - totally vulnerable due to cognitively impaired owner too focused on bribing Ohio R lawmakers to bother to even make one correct football decision. Steelers - their rent-a-wreck QB, once a new world samurai, now a dimwitted conspiracy theorist who is basically spending his last season falling off a cliff in slow motion. Ruined. Ravens - Formidable. Seems their regular season was dipped in the River Styx, but said dipping took place while holding onto the playoffs portion of their season. Week 18 is coming! Unwarranted and completely delusional confidence RISING!!

Football scuffles are kind of funny. Just a lot of pushing and shoving. Then on the next legitimate play they play football, which is about 5 times more dangerous and damaging than the “fight” in which they just engaged.

Adversity arrives in many forms: Burrow: “ok the other team just kicked off.” Taylor: “Holy shit, get out there and start chucking it!!”

Is there a new league we can play in this year? Because this nfl thing isn’t even going to challenge this team.

I just saw CTB interviewed by Kay Adams. She pretty much just asked for Burrow’s phone number. JK. Basically, CTB reinforced the reality that athletes just do not have anything interesting to say. They’re working for a living, they aren’t media guys.

Insane and never-warranted pre season confidence level RISING!

Burton played. Nothing great but at least he showed up to practice and a game. That defense last night did not inspire confidence. Stewart and Knight must develop quickly and both need to be average or above average at their respective positions. That’s the only way this defense gets any better. It’s putting a lot on them, but that’s the way it is right now.

It’s going to be a shootout every week.

This is me every year. I read the local reporters blabbing about camp and I go out of my mind. “How can we even lose one game? The division is a certainty, the conference is a probability, SB win more likely than not.” I do it every year and this year is no different.

Good to see the Bobby Hart Hate Train is still on the tracks. TJ is the engineer, if I recall correctly.

I don’t mind Burrow playing as long as it is understood - no third or fourth reads, no holding the ball or scrambling. Two reads max and the ball comes out.

I’m looking forward to seeing Stewart in preseason. It’s easy to forget he’s 280 lbs and athletic at that weight.

Brandon Scherff is still available. Sign him and we can get a serious player AND a mentor for Fairchild. Do it.

Harbaugh is a squirrel. He’ll say some attention-grabbing stuff before the game. Other than that, difficult for me to get into it. I do love the Lions though, so I’ll check some of it out.

They drafted the kid from A&M, then brought in Perine, should have cut Moss right after.

Ha ha! Welcome to the reality of being a bengal fan. We deal in reality.

It will be a giant improvement if they can jump out to 4-2. They essentially defeat themselves in these early season losses. Hopefully our uber players’ coach decides some stuff has to change. Also, NFC north is a gauntlet. Physical as hell and loaded with players right now.

JFC, brutal.

Update: further research indicates the whole thing was likely staged.

Analysis: the guy was filming with his phone, was stepping sideways to get a better shot and walked right off the platform. Also, might have been a woman, can’t really tell. Phone definitely went in with him/her. The unfortunate who fell into the lake was filming 3 people in front of the giant helmet. Person 1: a giant Dude Wipes container. He proved useless in this emergency. Couldn’t even take 2 steps on his own. Person 2: what appears to be an elderly woman, she is feigning enthusiasm for the new helmet. She’s sort of dancing for the camera, jubilating, with the giant Dude Wipes container. After our protagonist takes a header into Lake Erie, elderly woman walks Dude Wipes over to the edge of the barge to observe the possible drowning. Person 3: A hero appears. Just when all seems lost, when Dude Wipes and elderly woman doubling as hype man and Dude Wipes attendant fail to assist, a third player appears. It is someone dressed as a character. It is unclear if it is Brownie the Elf or possibly the embodiment of another personal hygiene product that sponsored the giant helmet on a barge ceremony. Regardless, our anonymous champion grabs a flotation ring and throws it into the water. The day is saved.