COB

Spotrac projects 3 year, $82 million contract for Dexter. If we can get that, with maybe an option year, I’d take it.

Great, and I can’t emphasize the word enough, great move by the bengals. Dude is a player.

Agreed, Downs would be a great pick.

So Mike’s sole purpose all these years was to absorb neutrons? Explains his prodigious liver spot production. Science really can clarify everything.

The best paragraph from that article: “Not exactly man landing on the moon. But consider that the draft's moderator, Bengals president Mike Brown, was born the month of radio's first traffic reports in 1935.” What the fuck does he mean, the draft’s moderator? Hobson has to swallow a lot of dignity and pride to push this bullshit out all these years, but at least his stuff usually makes sense. Even if it is propaganda. But in what way is Mike a “moderator”? But the crack on Mike’s age is sweet. Could also point out Mike was born about a year after Bonnie and Clyde were gunned down, he was born ten or 15 years before the jet engine was created. Calling him a moderator is one more in a long line of vague and sometimes misleading job titles and descriptions the bengals use to shield their people from any responsibility or accountability.

Classic old man rant. I love it. I don’t want to upset your pacemaker, but there are some kids on your lawn.

Holy crap. No way the Brown family even considers that. You do that type of thing to get Burrow. I love Arvell Reese and he’ll be good, but no way am I giving up next year’s first.

Agree Downs over Bain if both are available. Downs is considered a can’t miss guy, his game will translate. Reuben Bain - it remains to be seen if going against bigger and stronger tackles in the nfl will reduce his effectiveness. something about his short arms.

If anyone knows, what would it cost in picks to trade up to 3?

Go Reds. The National League is really strong this year. Guardians are scraping by. I wish we still had Tito.

Whit’s comments were a direct shot at Duke Tobin, and possibly at the family for not surrounding him with knowledgeable people. Once again, wat too much time between the Super Bowl and the draft. Thuscwait is almost killing the buzz instead of building it up.

Shots Fired! Andrew Whitworth edition. Kelsey Conway article in today’s Dispatch. It’s an interview with Whit. He’s pretty direct. Basically he said the Bengals should make a big swing to instill confidence in the guys in the building. He said shooting your shot is not paying guys that have been there, that have proven that they earned money. He said the Bengals are never going to live in a trade world, they are never going to over pay guys, so drafting well is paramount. Why haven’t they drafted well? Here’s Whit!!- “And I think the biggest problem has probably been not being able to bring in the kind of guys that draft well.”

These mock drafts that DON’T show us trading up to take Arvell Reese are a crime against humanity and if there were any justice in this world the authors of these drafts would find themselves on trial at the International Criminal Court in The Hague. And I would come out of retirement to personally prosecute each and every one of these mock drafts terrorists. (I’d also get Mike Brown indicted on something, I don’t know what exactly but I’d find something).

I can’t find Matt Lee’s phone number, but these gutters aren’t going to clean themselves.

Just the positions alone would infuriate me.

Mike is getting ready for the 2026 draft by slowly taking voluminous notes from the draft issue of Street & Smith’s Pro Football magazine. Plot Twist - Mike takes all his notes and advice from the 2018 edition of Street and Smith’s draft issue, and we end up taking Billy Price again. Double Plot Twist - the Brown family can’t ever admit a mistake, so they actually sign 31 year old Billy Price to a rookie deal. Plot Twist on PEDs - Billy Price is so peptided and roided out that Dehner proclaims him to be the surprise of camp, he’ll be competing for a starting job come week one! Before camp ends, Mike has a Tiger woods episode in his golf cart and runs over Price while he’s stretching. Knocks out 3 teeth and detaches both retinas, Billy Price can never play again. Godzilla Plot Twist - Mike files a huge lawsuit against Enterprise Rental Car. He cites some fine print from a contract he signed when he rented a Nissan Sentra in Council Bluffs, Iowa, at a hobby convention called “Midwest Sock Garter Samurai.” The jury buys Mike’s argument that the contract should be interpreted to cover him driving any vehicle (including golf carts) for 3 weeks from date of signing. He gets a billion dollar payout which drives Enterprise into bankruptcy. Good try Enterprise, but Mike files a lien on all their assets the day before they file for bankruptcy. Mike now owns Enterprise Rental Car. By now it’s time for the 2027 draft, and in the first round Mike picks a slot receiver from Holy Cross who won the NCAA Decathlon and has the largest hands ever measured at the Combine.

Confirmed - Puka Nacua is a nut. He delivers and takes a lot of head shots and I think it’s starting to show. He’s in rehab but you can’t rehab from CTE.

I would take that draft. 4 top picks all defense, a couple of those would likely hit and help Golden try to get the ship righted.

Falk just signed up for my online course. In just two short weeks he’ll be certified to clean out gutters in 7 US states and one US territory (Guam, in case you were wondering).

Classic Bengals move. Faulk is often described as having a ton of upside because of his “frame.” Also his length is admired by all. Presumably arm length. Elite run stopper. Truthfully, we need guys who can stop the run. Luckily they found a guy they can take earlier than projected so everyone in the league can see how smart they are.

Attention DiGiorno pizza company: I sincerely hope that you will still be making your Detroit Style Crust 3 Meat frozen pizza 15 years from now. Because that’s how long it will take me to smuggle in a juvenile Eastern Lowland Gorilla, build an appropriate environment for him in my basement, and raise him into a full grown Silverback. Since he will be nine times stronger than any human, he will have a fair chance of actually getting the pizza removed from your packaging. Thank you.

The best pro athlete to come out of a service academy was named Robinson. David Robinson went to the naval academy, then was great NBA player.

I can’t imagine Downs being there at 10, but I also can’t tell if some algorithm is feeding me insane hype. Let me put it this way, if all nfl teams are reading and seeing the same stuff I’m reading and seeing, he’s going before 10.

The draft should be happening now. This is my annual complaint, posted since they moved the draft later in the spring. Also, Reds fans had a halfhearted riot yesterday over basically nothing. Meanwhile we eat buckets of shit from this mom and pop hardware store organization and we do nothing. Civil disobedience now! Also, if I have to tell you again I’m calling your parents, get off my lawn.

You’ll get Billy Price 2.0 and like it. Or John Ross 2.0. Or that stiff we drafted last year 2.0. Insert name 2.0.