COB

It will be a giant improvement if they can jump out to 4-2. They essentially defeat themselves in these early season losses. Hopefully our uber players’ coach decides some stuff has to change. Also, NFC north is a gauntlet. Physical as hell and loaded with players right now.

JFC, brutal.

Update: further research indicates the whole thing was likely staged.

Analysis: the guy was filming with his phone, was stepping sideways to get a better shot and walked right off the platform. Also, might have been a woman, can’t really tell. Phone definitely went in with him/her. The unfortunate who fell into the lake was filming 3 people in front of the giant helmet. Person 1: a giant Dude Wipes container. He proved useless in this emergency. Couldn’t even take 2 steps on his own. Person 2: what appears to be an elderly woman, she is feigning enthusiasm for the new helmet. She’s sort of dancing for the camera, jubilating, with the giant Dude Wipes container. After our protagonist takes a header into Lake Erie, elderly woman walks Dude Wipes over to the edge of the barge to observe the possible drowning. Person 3: A hero appears. Just when all seems lost, when Dude Wipes and elderly woman doubling as hype man and Dude Wipes attendant fail to assist, a third player appears. It is someone dressed as a character. It is unclear if it is Brownie the Elf or possibly the embodiment of another personal hygiene product that sponsored the giant helmet on a barge ceremony. Regardless, our anonymous champion grabs a flotation ring and throws it into the water. The day is saved.

People don’t want to see it, don’t want to admit it, but this dude is an absolute drama queen who loves being the center of attention. 3rd year in a row he’s done this, and one of those years he wasn’t even league eligible for a new deal because it was too close to when he signed his previous deal. He held out anyway. What in the world was he holding out for? He personally has done more to revive and perpetuate the “bengals are cheap” narrative than any player I can think of. Other guys who have absolutely had it normally just finagle their way out of town. Carlos Dunlap and Corey Dillon come to mind. But Trey doesn’t want out. What he wants is this. He wants the national media telling him how great he is. He wants to skip camp, that’s very clear. He’s a diva but in a strangely deceptive way.

Trey thinks he deserves a very large multi year deal. Good. Play out this current deal, one year, 2025, then go get it. But time after time he refuses to bet on himself, then whines when the Bengals won’t bet on him either.

I’ll be sending in my application for one of those assistant GM spots. They’re going to need a Jailed Player GM to deal with cancelling the guaranteed money for all these guys who will, in an unprecedented move, be getting themselves thrown in jail.

Mike was just honest in that presser. He said the situation has never occurred in his time with the bengals. He seemed a bit mystified by the whole thing: "We're sitting here arguing over something that is pretty remote, I ask myself sometimes why the hell we're doing it, but we are and he's doing it too and at some point, we've got to put this stuff behind."

So, we signed the first round draft pick d-lineman, excellent!

Camp opens Wednesday and the 31 other nfl teams have their first round draft picks signed. The bengals, to no one’s surprise, don’t. Hopefully they get this kid signed and in here to get to work. Typical bengals. The league bargains with the union to slot the salaries and do away with these protracted contract battles for rookies. Only the Brown family would find a way to fuck that up. Hope that special clause means a whole lot to them.

Erick All Jr would be a big contributor if he can ever stay healthy. Maybe he’ll have a good second half of his rookie deal.

Gettin’ trolled!!

I’m there right now! When I grabbed my food the pimply-faced Arby’s drive-thru teenager said, “Here’s your double combo with potato cakes. And by the way the greedy Brown family would rather win every negotiation than football games.” I said, “Et tu, pimply-faced Arby’s drive-thru teenager?” He goes, “Just giving the people what they want.” GETTIN’ TROLLED!

These bengal-hating media types have inside info they won’t share with us because it might make the bengals look good!!! Gettin’ trolled!

In my opinion this reduces his chances of an extension to near zero. The bengals will offer him a raise for this season then he’ll be free to go anywhere in 2026.

Remember Chinedum Ndukwe? 7th rounder for us but he played. I remember he took an off-season trip to Liberia. Most memorable thing when he came back - He said the physicality of the people in Liberia was almost otherworldly. He said there were regular guys just walking around on the street who looked like they could step right on an NFL field and play.

Holy shit. So taxpayers are basically funding the Brown family’s business. The Hamilton County Commissioners should begin the legal process right now to seize ownership of the team through eminent domain.

I hope we don’t get some good guards in here to Cincy so we don’t start sucking like Kansas City.

Don’t trust your own sensory organs. For instance, if you watch “Quarterback”, and you think you see our franchise quarterback profanely raging at his head coach over our clueless and incompetent line play, AFTER A WIN, don’t believe it. Don’t let your own eyes troll you. Your eyes are very likely in an unholy alliance with a cabal of demonic, bengal-hating, sports reporters who’s sole purpose is to troll you into thinking our front office is an understaffed herd of drooling cheapskates who’s greatest accomplishment was tanking the 2019 season so they could hold Joe Burrow hostage for 15 or 20 years.

The theme that we don’t pay guards, that we just draft 4th rounders or pull disabled vets off the embalming table for a last go is just a false narrative promulgated by an evil cabal of bengal-hating media members. Stop letting yourself get trolled. example of trolling below, don’t read unless you are voluntarily being trolled: According to PFF, Alex Cappa finished dead last among starting guards in all three major protection categories: pressures (51), hurries (36), and sacks allowed (eight, tied with Houston's Shaq Mason).

90 million for a guard? Guarantee the dentures were flying across the breakfast table this morning.

That’s a great pair. Lap means a lot to me.

If getting trolled by evil cabal of bengals-hating media is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

No surprise. They’ve done very little to improve one of the worst defenses in the league, a defense that objectively cost them games last year. Fans aren’t blind. All that has to happen is that Al Golden needs to turn out to be J. Robert Oppenheimer, Vince Lombardi, and Albus Dumbledore all rolled into one. It could happen.

I heard he’s going to petition the Florida High School Athletic Association and go back to play for his high school team.