COB

Is the draft ever going to get here? JFC, from the season’s end to the time the draft rolls around you could give birth, raise the kid, let him play high school and college football, and actually get him drafted.

Cameron Sample - missed all of ‘24 with a torn Achilles. That was the final year of his rookie deal. He is going to give it a try this year on a one year, 1.2 million dollar deal he signed in March. Hopefully things work out for him but that’s a tough injury to overcome.

I’m so old it takes me a year to find posts in Bengalszone. I’ve never heard this before and I liked it. Also, there was a great comment with it: “Perfect for working out or finally showing your stepdad, Rick, who the man of the house really is.”

I don’t mind helping to pay for a business’ overhead, of course I’ll be getting some of the profits in return.

Could be a special teamer, he’s done some of that.

0-0, bottom of the 9th, the tribe pulls off the win. (A single to lead off the inning, then 3 straight walks and the winning run walks across the plate).

Opening day at the mistake. The white Sox threw a rookie out there and of course he’s no-hitting us through four innings. Were terrible.

Dude, what? No favorite funeral home? Are you even a human being? You should run over to my other message board funeralhomezone.com. I have about 8000 posts on funeralhomezone.com where we just talk about our favorite funeral homes - what makes them good what makes them bad. My favorite is McPeek funeral home in the little town I live in. I’ve changed the name so that you guys don’t doxx the funeral home but basically it’s in a creepy old house right in town and that’s all it is, just an old house. Like it’s in this dude’s house, he and his wife actually live there. So for a funeral you just go into this old house. You hang your coat up in the foyer. Then you go straight back to the living room and the deceased is laid out there in the living room and you go in there and kind of stand around in a sort of awkward way for a couple minutes. There is a parlor right off the living room. There’s usually a few old ladies in there crying so you stand there and look at them and they look at you. Then you glance at the deceased (try not to stare), and you’re thinking, “damn, he looks like shit,” and then you’re like “yea he looks like shit, he’s fucking dead.” Then you walk back out to the foyer to get your coat. But before you can leave you usually bump into someone you know coming in. So you hang out with this dude for a few minutes, pretty soon he goes, “Dan’s is open,” Dan’s is the bar that is about 50 feet down the sidewalk from McPeek funeral home. So basically everyone ends up over there for a few drinks or whatever. Then by the time you get home your wife is like, “What’d you do, go to Dan’s afterwards?” And you’re like, “Yep, ran into Dave Marston at McPeeks and we went over.” And she says, “Oh, I just saw Dave’s nephew, he got a job down at the IGA.” And you go, “Yea, he mentioned that.”

Columbus had a protest downtown yesterday. Not trying to be political but there was a guy there holding a protest sign that read, “OLIGARGLE MY BALLS.”

Social etiquette question: say you are reading the obituaries on your local funeral home’s website. You come across an obit for someone you don’t know but there is a family in your town with that last name (let’s say it’s Miller, it’s not, but for illustration purposes) and they’re all crazy as shit. Even though everyone else is leaving comments like, “Uncle Dave was a bright light,” and “Dave can rest easy in heaven after he fought so hard against cancer,” is it ok to leave a comment asking, “I didn’t know Dave, but with that last name, I mean, you know. Was he one of THOSE Millers?”

Tribe sucks. You guys got Francona, he’s like a top 3 manager in baseball. We can’t do anything. Seriously need to get back to Ohio. We lost series to both the Padres and the Angels. Our starting pitching grade is an F. Our bullpen grade is an F. We have two players, Jose Ramirez and Steven Kwan. Gonna be a long year.

Supposedly the most nfl-ready edge in the draft. Won the college award whatever it’s called. I can see them doing this, giving Trey a raise for this season only. Seems like something they’d do.

Jack Sawyer is throwing out the first pitch at the Guardians home opener on Tuesday. Winning a national championship at Ohio State gets you a lot in this state.

The tribe had a great young team last year. So of course we got rid of the heart of the team, Josh Naylor, and our all star second baseman, Andres Giminez. Now we can’t do shit.

You’ve got a lot of nerve talking about a player other than Trey Hendrickson. You must not have heard about the crime against humanity that occurred - bengals front office people “disappointed” him by not giving in to all his guaranteed money, no incentives, 4 year contract demands. Luckily, Trey found a sympathetic ear in Steeler Homer Pat McAfee. McAfee was appropriately horrified, and reacted to Trey’s story of being “disappointed” with a somber seriousness that made it look like investigators from The Hague War Crimes division are looking into this assault on Trey. Trey said he and his wife can’t have kids yet because that disappointing 21 million dollar contract just ain’t getting it!! So stop acting like there are any players in football other than center of the universe, swallower of planets, Trey Hendrickson.

Can you imagine if they moved to Columbus? I’d buy season tickets. I still see the entrenchment of the Brown family as a major obstacle to moving. Is Mike really going to relocate at this point in his life? And would he sign off on moving the team but he stays here and gets fruit thrown at him every time he’s trying to redeem 78 separate coupons at the Kroger checkout?

Let’s check it out. I looked it up and UFL cities are: Arlington, Birmingham, DC, Houston, Memphis, Michigan, San Antonio, and St. Louis. Arlington - Never. Jerra would block it. Birmingham - they’ve had a lot of minor league football. No other major sports are present, just like Cincy. Sorry Reds fans, little dig there. A real possibility. DC - no way. Houston - no. Memphis - I guess the Titans and the Saints could try to block this. But could they? If you haven’t been to Memphis, you are missing nothing. Michigan - Lions block it, rightfully so. San Antonio - Jerry and the Texans probably block this but they shouldn’t. Texas could likely support all 3 teams. St Louis - this city desperately wants an nfl franchise again and probably sends Mike a Christmas card every year. Very real threat. Summary: Birmingham and St Louis are potential landing spots for the bengals. I don’t see it happening as the various branches of the Brown family are firmly rooted in the tri-state area and you can’t give tons of jobs to the 4th and 5th generation if they all live 4 states away.

They’ll have to re-up. Hard to picture them finding a new home by Sept of ‘26. I hope Katie enjoyed Palm Beach.

Trey: “the bengals won’t negotiate with me, wahh! Also, I refuse to negotiate.”

I can see them doing this. They’re putting a ton of pressure on Golden.

Dude went on known Steeler homer Pat McAfee and complained. Said there are aspects he won’t budge on mainly length of deal and guarantees. Does not want incentives. Says he and his wife want to be as humble as possible as Christ-loving people.

Trey wants to be compensated like an undrafted free agent. Which is exactly what he would be if he had played out the 4 year 60 million dollar deal he signed before the ‘21 season.

Kind of off topic, but Chris Henry’s son announced he’s chosen to play college football at ohio state.

I’m really surprised guard is suddenly in play in the top 3. Defense seemed to have earned the premium picks this year with their shit show performance last fall.