COB

Our DTs are collapsing the pocket. Haven’t seen this in a long time.

That play where Baker scrambled and fumbled -,Dexter caused that, he absolutely demolished his guy, pushed him right into Baker, would have had a sack but got held. No flag but it turned out better anyway.

So great, loving this.

Beautiful running play there, shows the under center snap advantage.

I guess you can just grab Chase any time. Fucking bullshit.

Boye Mafe! Can’t believe this.

Howell making plays in his first game. Impressive.

That was a great play by both our linebackers and Myles.

HellYES!!!!!

Damn, Slaton means business!

Ok just commit interference, the back judge could never see that from like 15 feet away. wtf.

Agreed, holding them to a FG is a win.

The next time Baker tries to block please knock him into the middle of next week.

I’m stuck watching my bedroom tv, sequestered with a case of Covid. At least there has been a lot of good football to watch. Nate Hicks, firefighter singing the national anthem - 6/10.

Counting on the offense to go nuts, and allow the defense to experience whatever growing pains will inevitably arrive. If Burrow and company can just be average (their average which is basically great) for a couple games, our defense can gel and we can have a great year. It all starts today. Army going to the game will probably be the push we need to win. Bengals 31, Bucs 21.

Per Google, the bucs have a very good interior o-line. We’ll get a good look at Dexter against quality competition.

Don’t mean to rub salt in the wound but a 20-0 beating from the Brewers is pretty remarkable. Did Francona go in to pitch at any point? Eat a couple innings, save what’s left of the bullpen for tomorrow.

Biggest possible development: as Volcom said, Pitcher possibly calling plays. When he called them in preseason they looked juggernautish. With Zack calling them week 1 they look this-is-not-it-ish. You wonder if they’ll even reveal who’s calling them. In their zeal to shield everyone from criticism they hide who does what very effectively. There must be a league rule that you have to name a head coach. Otherwise Zack would be “Assistant to the GM” - and in Brown family style they already have 3 Assistant General Managers. But they have no General Manager. The buck stops nowhere. It’s not a football team, it’s a Kafka novel.

DJ Turner’s Agent: “Katie, here’s our bottom line.” /Slides paper with a number on it across desk for Katie to read./ Katie: “That’s a lot of money, Alvin.” DJ Turner’s Agent: “What? Who’s Alvin?” Katie: “it’s just a magic phrase. It means you’ll hear from us a few hours before free agency starts, probably some time the morning of March 11.”

Cordell Volson got cut by the Titans. So far I can’t see that he’s been signed anywhere. Could sign him as depth, try to stash him on the practice squad. He’d know the offense and could be plugged in without some big learning curve.

Anon owner 12 - All good thoughts gentlemen. The subscription thing makes sense. But here’s a twist that we will want to implement asap: NFL NEURALINK We put on a great show during our season. But we all talk about how unfair it is that downstream media profits from our league year round. When Jeff from Paducah calls in to his local am sports talk show to talk about the Titans, how fair is it that we aren’t directly compensated for that? It’s completely unfair. The solution is NFL NEURALINK. Fans get a NEURALINK chip installed in their skull. Elon has already shown that thinking about NFL football produces a very identifiable brain wave signature. The NEURALINK chip has the fan’s credit card pre-loaded onto it. Any time the fan thinks about NFL football, we charge them immediately. This is just taking the subscription model and advancing it one step to allow us to be paid what we deserve. Just picture our future. A super fan sits at a game, he has a large NEURALINK chip implanted in his skull, we’re charging his credit card during the whole game. The CBS camera pans to him before a timeout. He’s got his face and right arm painted team colors (missing his left arm, eaten by his favorite team’s owner). He sees the camera, the intensity of his thoughts increases, and so do the charges we levy on his credit card. It’s a brave new world, gentlemen. A world in which we will finally, FINALLY, be fairly compensated for the product we put out, not 18 weeks a year, but 24/7, 365.

Anon owner 11 - “I’m a yes on eating the poor. But we do it on a subscription basis. We get their credit card number, we charge them monthly. But wait, we kill them and eat them, sure we get 6 months or so of charging their card, but then someone notices and that’s the end of that. Not acceptable. So with my method, we 1. Eat the poor, 2. Make them pay us to do it, and 3. Get several years of subscription out of each customer. How, you ask? We make it an incremental thing. We eat them piece by piece. Like we eat just a hand or a foot in season 1. We keep charging them monthly. We raise the amount every 3 months. Next season we eat a huge chunk of their thigh. They can still go to work and we keep charging them. The overall lesson gentlemen is this: Subscription. It’s the absolute best way to maximize revenue.”

Anon owner 10 - “100% yes here on eating the poor. So I’m thinking maybe it’s a dynamic pricing model, wherein we can, say, charge them more if we eat them during the season? And it’s extra if they want to designate which team’s owner eats them?”

Anon owner 9 - “I get it, I’m onboard with eating the poor, but it’s not clear to me how we’ll charge them for it.”

Anon owner 8 - “You know, the poor on this earth are a finite resource. So while we could sustain ourselves, you know, grinding the poor up and eating them, they wouldn’t last forever. I want everyone in this chat to think about that.”