COB

Like they are straight up saying he’s good? Then we will see. Jonah could be that type of player that practices well, absorbs information quickly, and once he gets a feel for how to play against his practice opponents, he can handle them. But once he gets in a game, just the speed of the game, the intensity, whatever it is, he just can’t play up to the level his practices would seem to indicate. The opposite of a gamer. The opposite of Burrow.

"It's really been a lot more seamless and smooth than I would anticipate for any guy. So it just shows the quality player that Jonah is," Pollack said. What the fuck is Pollack talking about? This rusty gate gave up 12 sacks last year, and by many ratings services he was the worst starting tackle in the league. I’m really starting to question Pollack’s coaching.

Great news for sure.

Tear down this abandoned ford plant and build a casino.

Oh my god, casino ambush reference. NEVER FORGET!!

True Fact - They open a new runway at the Canton municipal airport every year in August to allow the giant group of orthopedic surgeons who show up to fix all the mangled Division 2 football players who list their position as “Effort Guy” and get intro the Hall of Fame Game just long enough to get their shit completely wrecked.

Going to completely hit on this Hall of Fame Game parlay, then retire. All 3 have to happen, but I’m confident. 1. A division 3 try hard gets a compound fracture in his femur. Tells Erin Andrews he’ll rehab and come back stronger than ever, not giving up on his dream! 2. During the broadcast Chris Collinsworth spends more than 8 minutes telling us how great the Pittsburgh Steelers organization is, even though they’re not even in the game. 3. The division 3 try hard who got his femur compound fractured last year gets in the game, gets destroyed and sustains a massive brain injury. He’s unconscious when they take him off the field, but his dad is there and he tells Erin Andrews his son will rehab and come back stronger than ever, not giving up on his dream!

Right on! Then once that dealer cleans out all the dim witted marks he starts yelling, doesn’t anyone want to play me anymore, you slugs! Doesn’t anyone want to play for blood!” Then I appear. “I’m your Rasberry.” The dealer stammers, “Uh, do you mean Huckleberry, like ‘I’m your huckleberry’?” I go, “I’m your snack cake. Like the kind you buy at a gas station.” The dealer says, “What the fuck? Snack cake? It’s I’m your huckleberry! Fucking idiot!”

We do have a Super Bowl to win, but first, who’s pumped about tomorrow night’s Hall of Fame game?!! Get pumped!!

Poor dude. If there is one role on an NFL team that could be considered expendable/replaceable, backup running back might be the front runner.

I’m excited for the Reid Sinnett era to begin. Also, I lived part of my childhood in a house on Sinnett Avenue.

Back to the fainting couch.

Running Backs’ Union- “Listen up NFL, get rid of this exciting passing game you’ve developed, and bring back what people really want to see - 3 yards and a cloud of dust. Mano a Mano. The battle in the trenches. That way we running backs can earn more. Bring back the Wing T, the Single Wing, and dig up Bronco Nagurski, revive him with some zombie serum from Area 51, and let’s get this shit going again!” NFL - /sitting on a small mountain of money/ “No.”

This deal embodies the new Bengals. Just a complete departure from the practice of signing a player for X per year, then pay X per year, and refuse to do anything else. They’re managing the cap, dealing with reality - ie forcing Mixon to realign his salary to reflect what he actually is, and now the other side of the coin ; redoing Hendrickson with a nice increase to reflect what what he actually is. And both moves were used to manage the cap as well. Pretty fucking great, I think.

Ok just now was able to arise from my fainting couch.

Get Burrow one of those military robocop exoskeletons, super glue him into it, then encase the whole apparatus in bubble wrap. Then and only then can he participate in camp.

That would be awesome.

That “Cappa reacts” makes me wonder if joe stepped on his foot. Or, he heard something. But torn Achilles are extremely painful and guys generally react pretty dramatically. Did Joe act that way? I can’t actually watch any of the vids.

Better not be his Achilles. Hopefully just sprained his ankle.

Fuck. Hopefully just brought out the Precaution Cart.

Incredibly inartful phrasing by Mike there. If possible, it would be helpful if Mike were to somehow take an even further step back from day to day operations. And take about ten steps back from the next microphone he sees.

$60 million dollar fine on the way out the door. Those owners can’t stand Snyder, and this “fine,” implemented after the sale terms were finalized and everything was signed, is basically them just extracting money from this leech.

They telegraphed this about 5 different ways so I doubt anyone in here is surprised. What I think is very surprising is that it was done before Burrow’s extension. They kind of also telegraphed the message that it was Burrow first then everything else gets done. Not in Mixon’s case!

Back then - “this place sucks I’ll do anything to leave. I’d rather flip burgers than play here.” Now - “love me, honor me, I did so much for Cinci.” Fuck it. Sometimes we get put in unfair circumstances. Once you run your mouth to a certain degree, you can’t undo it. There’s a price.

We can still joke about Mike being cheap, reference the Lumina, use a random Shula as our avatar, etc.