COB

I’m building a voodoo shrine to Jackson Carman out of old grocery bags, a brick I found in my driveway, and a shitload of glitter. It’s on my kitchen table right now and if it works, Carman gives up only one sack and we’ll probably win. This thing is fucking sick.

This thing’s basically over. Next stop, Orchard Park (on my tv, I won’t actually be there). It will be a tough one for our Bengals. The Bills have some injuries as well. I just hope we can give Burrow a couple seconds back there.

You are not kidding. The Giants don’t belong in a playoff game with the Eagles. Makes me wonder how bad the Vikings actually were.

Ok, Chiefs won. Now let’s hop over to the pregame on Fox for this NFC matchup! Hey let’s hear from Jimmie Johnson (last coached in the previous century, 23 years ago), Terry Bradshaw (last played 39 years ago), and Howie Long (last played 30 years ago)! These guys have their finger on the pulse of the game! Assuming we’re talking about 1983.

Lawrence throws a pick to effectively end the Jags chances.

Mahomes now taking a break, Henne playing qb for KC.

Damn, Mahomes sprained his ankle, still can play just slowed him some. So basically, Collinsworth will be talking about this ankle the rest of the game.

I have youtubetv. It should work. I assume the trial version is the same as the normal (subscription) version. Otherwise how would they expect a trial to entice customers to sign up. As a fail safe, I’d go in and tell youtubetv to record all nfl games. I have that on my account. It will then should record today’s/tonight’s games and will put your mind at ease that it’ll work on the bengals game. Even though I’m in central Ohio, YouTube tv does not black out local nfl teams/games. If it’s broadcast in your local market, it will be on YouTube tv.

I’m just flabbergasted we’re going into a divisional round playoff game and Jackson Carman is our starting left tackle. How many regular season games was he active? You just can’t envision the stuff that goes on in this league.

For degenerate gamblers in here - the o/u on Burrow’s passing yards is 275. I’m taking the over and I’m not even checking the wind forecast in Orchard Park. Zac likes throwing even with a lead.

Agree Mem, but I keep in mind a leader like Karras is going to unify that unit through all means. No way is he going to be anything but encouraging to that kid, that’s the kind of person he is.

Volson is what he is. A grinder. He beat out the U.S.S. Carman as it was taking on water and listing to starboard. We all know Volson doesn’t have a ceiling anywhere near what we’d like. Our o-line is an obvious weakness due to injury and other factors like historically significant busts that put us in a difficult spot personnel wise. We’re still digging out. Could it cost us a chance at this year’s Super Bowl? Yes. Did it cost us last year’s Super Bowl? Yes. Do I blame Paul Alexander, Cedric Ogbuehi, Jake Fisher, Russel Bodine, Billy Price, and Jackson Carman? Hell yes, because that is where the blame truly lies. We’ve been left constantly trying to backfill these fucking gaping holes.

Now the Ravens are like, “you’re our guy Lamar, we’ll let you pick the new offensive coordinator.” Lamar’s like, “can’t help, too busy reading Deshaun Watson’s contract and sending out cryptic tweets about how you should take care of things you love.” From an agent’s perspective, Lamar has played this perfectly. He’s obviously worth whatever Watson got and more. He’s milked a non- surgery injury to the absolute hilt and beyond. The Ravens don’t want to give him a fully guaranteed deal. And they probably want to get him below market value. Lamar has definitely sent the signal - you had better not tag me because the first sprain or strain I get will result in me taking the rest of the season off. His refusal to travel with the team to the playoff game in Cincy was, I think, a master stroke of negotiating. It says - I straight up don’t give a fuck. Pay me or goodbye.

Ravens firing their offensive coordinator. Lamar polishing up his LinkedIn profile and planning a heartfelt goodbye to the Ravens fans. John Harbaugh sitting somewhere with a stupid look on his face.

We can’t wait for the draft. Spain, Spain Spain, Spain, Spain, Spain, Spain, Spain.

Carman - we don’t know what’s been going on behind the scenes this season. Either Carman has worked his way out of the doghouse and will get to come to camp next year and have a chance to earn a roster spot. OR, he’s still looked upon in the same way he was when he got beat out this year. My opinion - earlier in the season I’d have guessed he’d be cut after the season. The way they’ve activated and used him here at the end of the season makes me think he’ll be in camp next year.

I love the way Hoard makes the live call and Lap just watches and yells in the background like he’s a fan in the stands. Always loved that dynamic with these guys. Usually Lap’s like, “go baby,” stuff like that, but sometimes he kind of just yelps or grunts. You can tell he’s just so into it. Love these dudes.

Is Miami seriously thinking about signing Brady? I’ve seen that rumor making the rounds. Insane. Brady misses wide open 12 yard throws. Maybe they love that when pass protection breaks down he can, with his legs, buy them up to another one one hundredth of a second. If they sign Brady, Tyreek Hill should just start the trade demands.

Ha ha! Brady is washed. If I saw that geezer in the store parking lot I’d seriously help him find his car and load his groceries in the trunk.

Wow that was quite a draft. Very rare to get that many good players.

Loved reading about those meetings that Eli Apple obviously sleeps through.

Off topic - was anyone else freaking out as Hubbard ran that fumble back? Specifically our convoy of players running behind/alongside Hubbard barely seemed to notice Baltimore’s Andrews pretty much running the whole play down. They half ass shoved him once, almost putting him in better position, then finished him off with a somewhat questionable block.

Keep the positive info flowing because our o-line play once Collins went out has me balled up in a dark room flipping a lamp switch on and off.

Interviewer: “What’s with the eye black covering half your face?” Stripes: “LET’S FUCKING GO!!!!”

The only issue - do I have the above tattooed on my back, or inscribed on my tombstone?