Week 8: Titans @ Bengals

[Stripes]

I will remain celibate until AJ McCarron's wife finally arrives at my doorstep.

[TJJackson]

Is this part of the hookers and blow plan?

[ArmyBengal]

I’m sorry to report I shot my shot but things didn’t work out. I think it was doomed from the start. Although I couldn’t keep it going more than a few days, it caught me a little off guard that it ended so soon.

First was the wife, clearly that was going to be an obstacle, but I go to Kroger so much, I was making it happen. Turns out Jordan has a fetish for Kroger Brand lavender body oil, Gouda cheese and Chex Mix (traditional). The truth of her and Bill is that Bill is more of Sweet and Salty flavor guy and Jordan really hated where the M&M’s ended up. She ended it. Totally understandable.

Day two saw me inviting hookers to Kroger to join us. You know me… First were all the looks from the Township locals and their clear disapproval of my company. Next was we didn’t have enough room in the ladies bathroom stall for all of us. And finally turns out several of the “ladies” had an allergic reaction to Butylated Hydroxytoluene (BHT) which should have been anticipated but was a real issue. Thankfully Kroger carries Benadryl. 

I will give you guys a guess what the final nail in our relationship coffin was (since we are a pretty close group)…

Yep you guessed it. My massive cocaine addiction. No, not that Jordan was opposed. Honestly she really got into it. The problem was mine. Being all cramped up in the ladies stall with the abundance of whores, getting to all the ass to snort off of, which I needed to fully enjoy the experience was next to impossible.

I mean there were some other obstacles about the relationship but no one wants to hear about smashed bananas and nilla wafers in the meat section.

Turns out TJ, it really was a hookers and blow thing.

Farewell Jordan, it was fun while it lasted.
Thanks for your support guys !!

[HoosierCat]

Jay Morrison takes a look at the history of the Bengals as double digit faves:

https://www.si.com/nfl/bengals/onsi/bengals-in-rarified-air-as-double-digit-favorites-and-it-hasn-t-always-worked-out-well-01m6433zcb0m 

tl;dr they usually win but rarely cover. So if you’re expecting a blowout be prepared for disappointment.

[COB]

2 hours ago, HoosierCat said:

…. be prepared for disappointment.

The title of the Bengals Fight Song Mike wrote and spent years trying to incorporate into the game day experience.  Only a stiff pushback by Katie and Troy saved us.  

[TJJackson]

You have no idea how hard it is to run an nfl team!!!!!!!!!

--pumpkin

[TJJackson]

Please dont let this be an admiral akbar special

[HoosierCat]

2 hours ago, COB said:

The title of the Bengals Fight Song Mike wrote and spent years trying to incorporate into the game day experience.  Only a stiff pushback by Katie and Troy saved us.  

“Cincinnati Bengals, be prepared for disappointment not victory!

Fumble Bengals, put no points up on the board, and lose a game for profitability!”

[COB]

11 hours ago, ArmyBengal said:

I’m sorry to report I shot my shot but things didn’t work out. I think it was doomed from the start. 

Probably for the best.  Jordan has a beautiful face that draws your attention, but then there’s this kind of malevolent vibe to it.  She looks like a villain from an animated Disney movie from when we were kids.  

[ArmyBengal]

9 hours ago, COB said:

Probably for the best.  Jordan has a beautiful face that draws your attention, but then there’s this kind of malevolent vibe to it.  She looks like a villain from an animated Disney movie from when we were kids.  

You should have seen her all hopped up on Coke tangled up in the ladies bathroom stall. At one point I thought her eyes were glowing red and I (we) were in there with a demon from hell.  

Oddly enough, one of the hookers was dressed as a nun, celebrating Halloween early and had a super soaker filled with holy water.

Probably right in dodging a bullet COB.

[HoosierCat]

Bet the farm on the Tits, fellas, it’s a stone cold lead pipe lock!

Quote

Zero NFL Experts Are Picking the Titans in Cincinnati, and Pete Prisco Sees a 26-Point Rout

NFL.com, ESPN, CBS Sports and SI all take the Bengals over the Titans in Week 8, though two Bleacher Report analysts think Cam Ward’s team can keep it close.

https://athlonsports.com/nfl/tennessee-titans/titans-bengals-week-8-nfl-expert-picks

[COB]

Over-confident team falls on face.  It’s story as old as time.  But it won’t happen today!  I’m looking forward to hammering down chicken wings and watching my team at the local hammer down chicken/watch your team establishment.  

[COB]

My dog, who died in August of 2018, just picked the bengals to win big.  That’s how much of a favorite we are.  

[COB]

My dead dog also said Ryan Day should fire village idiot Arthur Blank, and that absolutely anyone would be a better OC than that fucking Steelers reject.  

[HoosierCat]

Inactives:

S Kyle Dugger

C Connor Lew

OL Myles Hinton

WR Mitchell Tinsley

DT Landon Robinson

[Stripes]

I’m glad Robinson is getting so much time to develop on his own terms. He was a good pass rusher in preseason, but he was equally rough against the run. It pays to have DL depth.

[volcom69]

Give it to the bengals defense to leave guys wide open for Ward lol 

[HoosierCat]

Got lucky Ridley dropped that.

[volcom69]

Well nice pressure there 

[COB]

There goes the shutout.  

[Stripes]

Ward made some nice throws there. I’ll take holding them to 3 with their scripted plays.

[Stripes]

Bad throw on third down.

[HoosierCat]

Run pass pass punt great job o!

[volcom69]

Um yucky start, need 2 let’s throw way down the field and not even close 

[Stripes]

Shitty punt too.