COB

This is what Zac Taylor teams looked like before Burrow.

Complete error by our punter there. Putting it in the end zone from the 43 yard line is an absolute fail.

Mike’s great nephew said he could keep all these stadium electronics working, and for half the price of the lowest competing bid.

Thank you Charles Davis for saying that Joey Porter Jr commits constant pass interference. Guy just grabs all over the field.

Heh.

Gene Steratore rooting for the Steelers.

DJ Turner prevented a td with that late strip. Great play. Then he recovers a fumble next play!

Great play by DJ Turner.

Don’t channel your inner Kyle McCord.

Higgins out, CTB out. Two good players.

“What the actual fuck?” -Porter Wagner

If one were to, say, want to gouge out one’s own eyes after seeing the Dolly Parton halftime show, hypothetically, what would one use, grapefruit spoon? Potato peeler?

The NFL will never recover from this Dolly Parton halftime show.

Hindsight being what it is, Tee should have been shopped. Unfortunately based on what I saw last night, the Chiefs would probably have wanted him. No. Shopped maybe to NFC teams only? We referred to Myles as a luxury pick. Tee Higgins could be called a luxury signing. As always, the market will have its way. Having Tee around for several more seasons is almost asking too much.

Uh oh. The Tomlin Empire getting a little shaky. But firing Canada buys him the rest of this season and surely all of next year as they give the new OC a fair chance. Gonna break out some new custom aviators and a new look Tomlin calls “Blue Steel, (but with a sort of ruthless flavor. But also confident. So Confidently Ruthless Blue Steel.”

Matt Canada living under the bus at this point. He’s the gift that keeps on giving for Teflon Tomlin. I watched the Steelers vs Browns and Steelers major change was Tomlin’s aviators were not mirror lenses. His mean mugging game is still 10/10. Throwing some hard looks around out there.

Ok I’ve recovered. That was pretty quick for me to bounce back not just from a division loss, but from a sort of Chernobyl like meltdown of the season. I think the fact that we were wobbly from the word go (1-3 start), and then that ass kicking from the Texans, helped. My expectations were tempered, to say the least. It’s almost better this way. We don’t have to go through like a 6 week slow motion car crash. We just went ahead and got it over with.

I truly hate the Steelers. If we lose the rest of our games, except we sweep the Steelers - that would be a win, a way to make the best out of a bad situation. True story - I play the powerball lottery and if I ever win I’ll use my billion dollars to implement my written plan (yes, it is a manifesto) wherein I obtain a large island, on that island I breed genetically enhanced wolves (think Dire Wolf on ‘roids), trainers teach them to attack, and veterinarians infect them with a virus referred to in my manifesto as “the insane attack and bite force to the tenth power” virus. Then when the criminal organization known as the Steelers least expect it, about ten thousand genetically enhanced dire wolves just stroll into town. Of course the Steeler fans are all idiots to begin with. They just look around, going, “man, I don’t remember all these giant wolves being here before. /drools dip spit onto stained wifebeater adorned with a number 7 fashioned out of black electric tape/“. My wolves all get triggered as soon as they hear Renegade by Styx. My decorum and good taste prevent me from describing the ensuing carnage, but rest assured that if it is technically possible, I’ll live-stream it here on Bengalszone with an added benefit that, along with the natural pure joy we’ll all experience watching giant wolves dismember Steeler fans, our memories will be permanently modified and all memories of the 2005 wild card game will be erased, as will any memory whatsoever that includes Hines Ward. It’ll be like he never existed. Just talking about it is getting me totally pumped! Off to the Duke and Duchess to buy a powerball ticket!

Being a bengals fan is not for the faint of heart.

Surgery. The only variable left in regards to next year is what the specific ailment will be that robs Burrow of the whole preseason and hampers his first few week. In order of probability: 1. Bad hamstring pull 2. Diverticulitis 3. Broken ankle 4. Worst case of pinkeye anyone has ever seen 5. Torn external oblique muscle, made worse by team doctor misdiagnosing it as a torn internal oblique 6. Pneumonia, made worse by team doctor misdiagnosing it as a tooth ache

I like Nick “free agent” Scott.

I don’t think they’ve said anything about his wrist other than Zac saying he believes it to be a sprain. We can still sweep the Steelers, that’s the only thing that can redeem this season in some way.

Depression sets in.

Last TD - lucky deflection catch. This TD - only possible after phantom PI call. Is this the ‘90s?

Bad officiating. Bad tackling. Bad health.