COB

What a game the nfl is. You hear coaches say injuries are part of the game, but it took me a long time to understand what they meant.

17-0 in the first quarter. Rough night Thor the Niners so far. Special teams breakdowns, turnovers, weird calls from the officials, etc.

Bills need a new coach. This guy has had a ton of chances, can’t seem to get over the hump.

Hopefully on the way to the stadium the Patriots bus gets hit by a freight train. The few survivors make it to the stadium, but to have a full team various unknown NFL rules dictate that the owner ends up having to suit up and play. Of course the Texans defense ends up killing Robert Kraft. Then like 6 Asian massage parlors in the Boston area go out of business due to a sudden and drastic drop in revenue.

Hard to keep track of the 9 HC openings because every YouTube thing that pops up on my feed is “Who will the Wise and Ancient Steelers select for their next generational coach?” Supposedly a great job. One caveat: their players are old, even on defense, and they have no QB and no receivers. So if you can get a team with no players to make a deep playoff run, the Pittsburgh job is for you.

The divisional round weekend is usually the best nfl weekend. Pretenders (like Pitt) have been disposed of. The remaining 8 teams are for real and these games are really good. Competitive.

Zac Taylor falls on his face, still gets every other coach in the division fired.

Per Schefty, Tomlin out in Pittsburgh.

He had viral meningitis and shingles at the same time. He was really quite ill. Hard to verify but the rumor was he lost 50 lbs while battling those illnesses.

They yanked Rogers so now his final nfl pass will be a pick 6 in a playoff game. I’d put him back in and let him throw a screen pass.

Announcers bashing the Steelers. Terrible to hear.

Yep, just pushing that defense around.

Stroud looked panicky in the first half trying to deal with the pressure. But he made some throws when he had to.

I saw that and my thought: “Figures.”

You are not kidding. Just saw a blurb about his playoff record: 3 playoff games: 1. Blew a 27-0 lead to the Jaguars. 2. Threw 4 picks in a blowout loss to the Texans. 3. Scored 3 points in yesterday’s loss to the Patriots.

Harbaugh ushered out of the playoffs in the wild card round for the second consecutive year. He was a lot smarter at Michigan where he had a whole cottage industry devoted to studying the other team’s signs. The data indicates knowing if it’s a pass or a run makes playing defense a little easier.

This just in: The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has created a new Emmy award to present to the producer who is turning down Brady’s mic during plays. The award is called “The Greatest Person Who Ever Walked on Earth.”

As Brady keeps droning on in his perma-whine voice, the play takes place, he keeps blabbing. And the producer has started subtly turning down the volume on his microphone. In other words, I am hereby nominating the Fox football producer for an Emmy award.

I left a poker game at the end of the 3rd quarter. We had the game on, I assumed it was basically over. Went home and went to bed, woke up and learned I missed a great 4th quarter.

Andy Dalton redemption arc.

Triumph is great. I’m watching the Rams vs Panthers right now. The Rams have done an amazing job of drafting the last few years, they have a ton of good players on their first deals. They also signed a free agent agent linebacker, undrafted guy named Nate Landman who spent time on the falcons. Of course the rams get him and he’s suddenly bigger and faster than ever and plays lights out and gets a 3 year 22 million dollar contract. All this to make the following observation: something is up with the rams training staff or their strength coach or something. I know PEDs are all around the league, but the rams have found something else. I know it when I see it. Even their HC is jacked and his head gets squarer every time I see him.

50% chance I return as a bengal fan next year: the 50% chance I don’t return as a fan consists of the following: 5% chance I straight up die. 10% chance a bad accident leaves me more brain damaged than I already am. 5% chance I am aggressively recruited by another nfl team after that team reads incredibly incisive posts on bengalszone that reveal a depth of football knowledge that leaves the reader stunned. 5% chance I am awarded prestigious “NFL Message Board Fan of the Year” and I spend the ‘26 season traveling around the league spreading goodwill towards man. 5% chance Mesozoic Era Fossil/Life Form sells the team and new owner moves it to Orlando. 5% chance Troy finds out about me and Katie. Shit gets real. 4% chance I randomly start hitting the ball like I’m 25 years old, never leave the golf course again. 10% chance a near death experience leaves me with a deepened sense of spirituality, a greater sense of purpose, and a profound oneness with the universe that I can only express to the outside world by becoming a fan of the Detroit Lions. 1% chance I just somehow come to my senses.

Looks like I jumped the gun there. I had heard McDaniel was staying, but maybe the availability of a new candidate changed the calculus in Miami (vague pun referencing McDaniel’s nerdiness and intelligence).

Zac is from the Shanahan/Mcvay coaching tree. And let’s face it when he has Burrow our offense is elite, probably top five in the league. And if you look at who did well enough across the league not to get fired, basically it looks like owners and GMs are prioritizing keeping and hiring these dudes. Quote from AI: Head coaches from the tree who have retained their jobs include Matt LaFleur (Packers), Zac Taylor (Bengals), Mike McDaniel (Dolphins), Kevin O'Connell (Vikings), and DeMeco Ryans (Texans).

I wouldn’t discount the impact of Mike’s age on all these non-decisions. Dude’s 90 years old. The prospect of rigorously researching, interviewing, evaluating, and then hiring (oh my god, a contract to be negotiated) a new coach is not likely very attractive to Mike. The alternative is put out a couple paragraphs, have a heart to heart talk with Zac, and head on home for an early nap. No contest, really.