COB

Jessie Bates is playing great. What a total whiff by us to let him get away.

Just watched Pratt get isolated in coverage, beaten for a td. I don’t know what Our old DC thinks Pratt can do, he was isolated against a WR. No contest, really.

Here’s how much I love my husquevarna backpack blower: I sold my house in ‘22, bought and moved into a condo. I got rid of almost all my lawn/outdoor stuff, but kept my backpack blower. I still use it to blow the leaves off my little driveway. It is hard to comprehend (minus economic considerations) why anyone would rake leaves anymore. Final note: these 2 cycle motors are incredibly durable. I can’t remember how old this blower is but it’s old. Anyway the plastic gas tank developed a leak. I googled it and discovered a method of sealing cracks in plastic gas tanks. It’s easy and all you use is super glue and baking soda. It worked. I used the blower a few times, then couldn’t hold back and found myself putting a totally redundant piece of duct tape over the repaired crack. Just couldn’t help it.

“Camera Equipment Hand-held cameras are permitted for non-commercial use. Camera lenses cannot exceed six inches and please refrain from the use of flash photography. Video cameras will not be permitted in Paycor Stadium without prior written permission from the National Football League and the Cincinnati Bengals.” Almost every camera has video capability on it. If your camera just looks like a regular camera, ie not a big telephoto lens on it, I seriously doubt you’ll have any trouble. Every phone has flash and video and the stadium is full of them.

Pocket camera with flash and video? Do you mean your phone?

I stare in an endless, silent, abyss.

No trade for our 265 pound hostage, Trey Hendrickson. Mike loves those compensatory picks, and he’s undoubtedly thinking Trey will ball out the second half of the season as he auditions for his next team/contract.

I really hope they’re trying to get something for Trey. He’s not coming back here next year. And we desperately need players.

I support benching Wilson and trading him. He looked so much slower trying to move laterally this year. He can probably still run, straight line speed is likely still ok. But his lateral movement looked like he was stuck in concrete. 7th round pick? Lol. This is a salary dump. We’ll see if they can do anything with Trey. A 2nd plus a player would be a dream at this point.

Yea, their pass rush has been lacking. So they went out and did something about it. I wonder if this is why teams spend so much more on scouts and personnel and capologists than we do. So they can react and fit new salaries onto the roster when they need to. This player they snagged is only making 10 million this year. But that all sounds like a lot of work. Let’s keep running our precious chrysalis Myles Murphy out there, surely his metamorphosis is just around the corner.

If they don’t tag him, the contract negotiations between the bengals (I wonder, and agents wonder, who even does these negotiations) and Trey’s guy will last about five minutes. Just long enough for a “thanks, but no thanks” from Trey’s side.

Not serving Gary Reasons. Fans: “What’s wrong? Fix this shitty defense.” Zac: “Gosh, everyone’s trying super hard!”

Yep. But does Zac have any more old friends he can bring in?

This is very un-P.H.A.T. This defense has forgotten to be PHAT, they’ve forgotten to run on their own gas.

A new DC is very unlikely for this shitbag of an organization. But what about the dreaded mid-season “defensive consultant”? {Somewhere in Arizona, Marvin Lewis startles awake in a cold sweat}

At a minimum they should try to trade Hendrickson. If he can demonstrate that his injury is minor, he has real value. If we don’t trade him, then again try to leverage him into an affordable long term deal with the threat of tagging him - that would be institutional suicide. Both from a cultural perspective in regards to the players, but I honestly can see him shrugging his shoulders, signing the tag, then sustaining a mysterious hamstring pull or something and just sitting out the season. I’m the furthest thing from a Hendrickson supporter. I think his selfish ways and lack of leadership are partly responsible for the mess our defense is in. But we’ve reached the point where enough is enough with this guy.

I think this is accurate. Golden is out of his depth. The Brown family has made it clear they simply do not want to do as much as other teams do. They don’t want to do as much financially, they don’t want to relinquish any control, they don’t want to grow the organization. I wonder what happens when for 30 years your competitors modernize and grow, and you stubbornly cling to the status quo? The devil’s chickens have come home to roost.

If you can find the over/under for the number of points our defense will give up during the bye week, take the over.

Don’t worry. Actually, come to think of it, better go ahead and worry. Non-leader of the defense, Trade Me Hendrickson, and our uber players coach, Zac Shula, won’t do jack shit about any of this. And the players know it. The defenders were supposedly laughing when they stiff-armed the journalists looking for interviews.

Back in August we were graced with a penetrating glimpse into the obvious by an all-knowing bengals fan. He’s a sage, really.

Info dripping out is positive, likely to go.

Nope. Who actually does what, who is responsible for what, all a big mystery. Prevents any accountability.

Army call in to a WLW radio show, “Bengalsline” or something like that. Host: “You’re on the air caller! We’ve had some negative Nancys on here complaining about Al Golden’s second half adjustments. What is your opinion on the defense as a whole?” Army: “Hi, first time long time. My opinion on the defense? It restates the negativeness of the universe, the hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of man, forced to live in a barren, godless, eternity, like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation forming a useless bleak straight jacket in a black, absurd, cosmos.” Host: “What?” Army: “What I mean is we should play more zone, help our rookie linebackers adjust to the speed of the game.”

McKinley Jackson seems to be inactive for most games so I don’t know what his market would be. Defensive “leader” Trey Hendrickson publicly asked for a trade, so when Logan Wilson and McKinley Jackson don’t get the snaps they want, they’re just following the lead of our defensive captain.

Bengals fandom - a meaningless void. But take heart. Bengals fandom can actually be a beacon, a giant light, that illuminates the utter meaninglessness of sport, of commerce, of everything. Bengals fandom can reveal to you the ultimate truth - nothingness. “Who wants that?”, you ask. You do. You will be freed from the philosophical shackles of conventional thought. The value system through which you perceive this world, that system informed by theology, artificially imposed “spirituality”, human nature, etc, suddenly cast aside. You float through a space devoid of light, sound, and meaning. Then, and only then, you can turn inward and discover your honest, authentic, self. In a world that has nothing of inherent value, you can find your true purpose (don’t be discouraged if it turns out to be raking leaves and frequent trips to the nearest Arby’s drive thru). And who do we all have to thank for this painful, yet ultimately life-changing journey of self actualization? Mike Brown. That sage. That Yoda. The closest thing we have to a god in the tri-state area. Or at least in Hamilton County. Yes, thank you Mike. The odyssey of pain that you’ve put us through for the last 35 years has forced self-enlightenment on us.