Stripes

I cannot pretend to have an opinion about New OL Coach. Do good. Be good. Protect the Prince.

Pour the Ravens tears into a chalice so that I may drink of them.

Please die, Baltimore Ravens.

Lions are dead. I no longer care beyond "anyone but the Ravens". I would root for the Chiefs 20 times before the Ravens once.

The Lions running game makes my butthole pucker with desire.

I have truly never seen a team as lucky as the Mahomes Chiefs

Will Anderson is a game wrecker

Zimmer is clear proof that Bengals fans aren't "mad because they know the name". Plenty of people are open to Zimmer. Doesn't seem like it's happening though.

Rooting interests are going to be complex today. I said before that "go Chiefs opponent" was priority #3, but "go Ravens opponent" was priority #1. These two things are subtly at odds right now. If Houston beats Kansas City, that would be fun, especially for ArmyBengal and son. However, it would also potentially set up a disaster: Houston at Baltimore for the AFCCG. That must not come to pass. For this reason, since BAL @ BUF isn't until tomorrow, I feel the terrible necessity to root against the worst case scenario. The Chiefs must defeat the Texans to remain in position to crush the Ravens' dreams.

Patrick Graham just seems like a bad choice. I'd pray I'm wrong if he's the guy. It kind of reeks of "he'll come within our price range". I am kind of ambivalent about Al Golden. I have some basic questions about the logic of firing Lou Anarumo and then hiring someone "familiar" whose familiarity is based upon his service under... Lou Anarumo. I'm not sure that makes much sense. But at least he comes with some non-zero history of success in the role of DC. I'm underwhelmed they didn't even interview any of the former head coaches. I know they cost more. Show me you want to win a Super Bowl.

I want to feel confident that the newcomer isn’t WORSE than Anarumo.

Maybe I’m not being fair, but Patrick Graham seems like a terrible option.

Priority #1: Go Ravens’ opponent Priority #2: Go Lions Priority #3: Go Chiefs’ opponent

9 years without a playoff win for Pittsburgh. Loser franchise.

Nobody is permitted to mention Justin Herbert alongside my quarterback ever again. Absolute Dalton-level performance. 14/32, 242 yards, 1 TD, 4 INTs The INTs weren't all his fault, but the pick six was terrible.

I have no immediate objection to Eberflus. I don't really care about his head coaching failure when considering him as a DC.

I'd rather lose Tee than Trey.

Jackson Carman had character concerns too. Learn and grow.

Go Lions.

Former head coach sounds good to me (e.g., Saleh or Allen). They never do that. Zimmer would be fun. I can't help but cringe at his playoff woes, but I am sure that was Marvin's fault.

I’m glad they moved fast. Now get QUALITY replacements if you really are a different organization than you once were. Don’t drag your feet and hire the table scraps, and don’t just promote some under qualified position coach.

Dehner just tweeted that four coaches are gone: Anarumo, Pollack, Bettcher, and Hobby

I expect nothing re: firing, but here's my pipe dream wishlist in order anyway (leaving off the Brown family): First Person Fired: Duke Tobin -- we can justify letting Jessie Bates and DJ Reader walk if and only if we are able to draft and sign capable replacements. Dax Hill was a flop as a safety and Sheldon Rankins did nothing. The last four drafts have all seen at least one complete lemon taken in the first three rounds: Jackson Carman (2021), Dax Hill and Zach Carter (2022), Myles Murphy (2023, pending), and Jermaine Burton (2024). The offensive line still has absolutely no depth. Get the fuck out. Second Person Fired: Zac Taylor -- I don't blame Zac for everything that's gone wrong, but I blame him for putting an unprepared and terrible product on the field in September every single season he has been here. It has cost them too many times. It blew the playoffs entirely in 2024. It killed 1-seed contention and forced them to play the AFCCG on the road in 2022. He is a serviceable playcaller and a bad game manager. He's also never produced a consistent running game. Third Person Fired: Frank Pollack -- They've fed him a steady stream of free agents and draft picks. Some of the latter have been Tobin's fault, but not all. Alex Cappa fell off a cliff after having been quite solid in 2022. Cordell Volson has not meaningfully developed and still started for three years. Joe just got sacked almost 50 times again. Fourth Person Fired: Lou Anarumo -- Maybe I'm insane for leaving the defensive coordinator this far down the list after a season in which the defense so visibly shat their pants. I just tend to place the blame on team building first (Tobin). He can still be held to the fire, however, for the good (theoretically) players that collapsed this year. What the fuck happened to Cam Taylor-Britt? Where was Jordan Battle the first half of the season? Why did Geno Stone look like he was completely clueless all year? Ideally, fire them all. I have no use for this staff. You don't get to miss the playoffs with a healthy Joe Burrow. Get out.

Well that was useless. Oh well, that allows us to return to the more important discourse: Fire everyone.

14-0 Broncos Chiefs backup defense laying an egg