Stripes

I think this is easily my favorite of the first three picks. Fairchild’s resume as a pass blocker is expansive and impressive, and he was still plenty decent in the run game.

I swear they use this phrasing on purpose.

Assessment of the first three rounds: Positions selected — beautiful Players selected — eeeeehhhhhhhhh Could be worse.

If you want a guard, take Ratledge when he’s there. Such goofy process. Whatever, it was a dire need. I hope Fairchild has it.

Based upon everything I know about this player [nothing], I am absolutely and utterly whelmed. I am whelmed completely out of my ass. I can hardly bear to be so whelmed, oh my God, whelm me daddy, yes right there, mmmmmmmmm (I am fine with the pick, I guess. The defense sucks. He plays defense. Cool.)

The Watts prophecy just feels inevitable. Sanders gone

Shough before Sanders is great comedy.

Best prospects already evaporating! Woohoo!

You can definitely argue that Jaguars got one player for the price of two. I was never thrilled with the Travis Hunter hype. I think his two-way ability dramatically inflated his perceived value. He needs to be elite on one side or the other to be worthy of what the Jags paid to get him. If he is a "solid" or "above average" receiver and/or corner, that's not good enough. I've heard a lot of "being average at two positions is like being good at one position", and I think that's just completely wrong.

I expect nothing, but I’ll be happy to be proven wrong. I resist the tendency to talk myself into things if it feels like coping. Regardless, they have a plan and a vision, so we’ll see what happens. No point in screaming yet. I’ll let him play.

Emmanwori is probably my favorite there, though I’d be very surprised if he makes it to 49. Otherwise I’ll be reasonably easy to please this time. Ratledge, Winston, Johnson, Sanders, and Savaniiaea might round out my six. I will quietly hope it’s not Mike Green. He’s probably a good player, but I don’t want to root for that.

I foresee Watts.

Ravens take Starks. BAL and PIT draft good defenders, and we draft... well, we draft.

As usual, Steelers get someone I wanted.

The only way to top Myles Murphy's zero sacks is to record negative one sacks. Perhaps Stewart will accidentally sack Joe Burrow.

Knew they'd freaking do that. I am less than whelmed. Hopefully he figures out how to play football.

Bengals pick commercial break tradition never dies

Fuck you Cardinals

Ladies and gentlemen: The NFL draft

Would like: Nolen Harmon [edge not named Stewart or Green] Maybe Jihaad

Whelm me, daddy.

I think the only [likely] player that I would really dislike at 17 is Shemar Stewart. I would be iffy about Tyler Booker. They're the right positions, but I get skeeved by the players. It's a crapshoot anyway. Maybe they'll be all-pros.

Brown-Perine-Moss isn’t too bad. I don’t really view RB as a “need”, though I will take whatever in the late rounds.

Missing only JaThinkno Widereceiver

24-2 over the Orioles. I hope ol' semiotter didn't sit through that one.