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Well, I couldn’t let ArmyBengal Jr. and I be the reason for fucking up the mojo and have the Bengals lose. So come this Saturday him and I will be headed to KC to attend the AFC Championship game !! The GoFundMe page will be needed come mortgage time, so don’t think I’ve forgotten. LMAO !! WHO FUCKING DEY !!!

I have a huge job interview on Monday, so I am just going to count on this game to leave me in the proper sprits. I can't afford to attend though, and perhaps that's for the best.

Not Browns related, but important nonetheless - the kid in the Arby’s drive thru tonight dissed me so hard I could barely manage to pay my fifteen bucks then eat my sodium infused cow. So if you’re on here, kid from the Arby’s on state route 79 in Heath, not everyone knows you guys discontinued the Loaded Italian Sub (2370 mg of sodium) like two years ago. In fact disappointing news like this should probably be broken gently to your understandably disheartened customers in a respectful manner. Your method, guffawing through “dude, we haven’t had that for like two years!” seemed overly condescending. And you and the snide 15 year old girl who laughingly handed me my order (roast turkey and Swiss turkey sandwich, Arby’s double roast beef sandwich, medium Sprite) probably think you bested a bumbling out of touch old man. But I guess you didn’t expect your bad customer service to be brutally outed on a football message board that is regularly read by up to 7 regular users. Checkmate motherfucker.

Alright guys… ArmyBengal Jr. and I are headed to KC in the morning. Wish you all could be there with us freezing our asses off and screaming loudly !! Will do our best to bring home the “W” !! Let’s fucking go !!! WHODEY !!!

Just confirmed my son and I are headed to Buffalo to catch the game !! LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOO !!

2/24/25. A day to celebrate. I’ll be heading over to the Arby’s on state route 79 in Heath and ordering these bad boys from that ill -tempered teenager in the drive through who mocked me for trying to order them a year after they were removed from the menu. Who’s the idiot now, Tristan? I’m not the one wearing a visor backwards in February in Ohio.

It is a sad day on this message board. Spike the hamster has shuffled off this mortal coil after an unfortunate encounter with our own Armybengal Kevorkian. We all had fond memories of Spike. Ok I’ll go first. He bought that lake house and even though he never invited me up I heard it was a lot of fun. He’d let you ride his jet ski , again I only heard about this, because he never invited me up. Spike ran for city council twice. He lost the first time, the second time they kicked him off the ballot for being a hamster. He never complained about that though. Armybengal’s cat, Sargent, was not friendly with Spike. Sargent met an untimely demise and we all kind of suspected Spike. But he was like, “Don’t look at me, I don’t run over stupid cats who go into the road out by the mailbox.” That kind of brought us back to reality. Thanks, Spike, we needed that. We all watched Spike get a little portly in his middle age, as hamsters do. Army was like, “why don’t you lose some weight you fat fuck?” And Spike was like, “I’m been stuck in a 14 inch by 18 inch aquarium my whole life. Like. Every. Moment. Of. My. Life. How am I supposed to lose weight?” Enter the hamster wheel. Army meant well. We hope. But a separated shoulder and getting half your face ripped off, well, the proof is in the pudding. The hammered down pudding with the pink stuff and some fur in it. Safe travels, Spike. You will be missed. Might be missed a little more if he’d have been a little more generous with that lake house. Like I heard that place had five bedrooms, plenty of room for guys if he’d have just invited more people up there.

Hello all - I've had some personal stuff to deal with for a bit - and the bengals are not helping. I am in fire everyone mode, even though that is not practical. Hope you all are well.

My final mock: Round 1: Johnny BeePeeAyy. The Bengals have already stated that at 17 they will take the Best Player Available, and so they shall. That Johnny BeePeeAyy also just happens to play the position of greatest need for the team is only a happy coincidence! Any questions such as Johnny being the 4-5 player at his position selected while the top and No. 2 guys at other spots sit on the board will be brushed aside with cries of "infidel!" and "unbeliever!" followed by the casting of urinal cakes and burning yellow legal pads at the doubters. Round 2: CC Fallingstar. The organization will welcome CC Fallingstar with exclamations of "we can't believe he was still there!" and "steal of the draft!" Again, that Fallingstar just happens to play the position of greatest need they did not select at 17 is a complete coinky-dink. CC is available, of course, because of the dreaded Character Concerns, which may include domestic violence, alcohol/drug issues, motivational concerns, halitosis, dandruff and/or a daily McDonald's habit. Round 3: Major Wha'dafuk. Fans and draft analysts alike will greet Major Wha'dafuk with initial silence, confused looks, and then guffaws of laughter. Wha'dafuk will play a position the Bengals already have well-covered and/or will be a name no one has ever heard of who was considered a late-round/UDFA prospect. In either case he will be a wasted pick as he either won't be able to get on the field, or will stink, or both. Round 4: Mister Solidpik. Solidpik, who will likely turn out to be the player from this draft with the longest career, is a double-dip with Johnny BeePeeAye. As such his ability to get on the field is limited, despite often looking better than Johnny in limited action. In four years he will leave via free agency and become a solid starter for another team. Round 5: Snoozy Benchwarmer. Snoozy is an offensive player, probably a running back but possibly a TE or even WR, possibly from a small school. The Bengals will tout him as a sleeper. In reality he will never get on the field, though he will hang around taking up roster space for three or four years for no discernible reason. Round 6: Teamy McSpecialTeamer. Teamy will turn out to be TJ's new favorite player. A special teams ace, he will make an immediate impact there, but despite his position group getting gutted by injury several times during his career, he will never be given any significant time on defense/offense. Nevertheless, he will have a long, fruitful career and will probably go into coaching once his playing days are over.

If Dax and Myles Murphy were linchpins for the defense, this whole scenario would look different. Dax would be entering the year before his club option decision was looming and the team trying to figure out how to pay him. Myles Murphy would make the Trey situation look much different and have the team to looking for his replacement in the draft, without thought of paying him market money. Even if the light goes on for Myles this year, they have him locked up for three seasons including the option year. Since that is not the case, they could afford to pay both Chase and Tee, because, well… who else are you going to pay?

And Bengals creepypasta is born…No. 14 is Slandyman.

A Panthers wide receiver jolts awake, gasping and in a cold sweat. He quickly sits up, or actually he does not, he tries, but it's no use. His body does not obey his commands. He is stuck to the bed and short of breath. He sees the digital clock display on his nightstand. 14:14 AM. That's when the sleep paralysis demon crawls on top of him, all its weight pressing him into the mattress. He tries to scream, but his mouth will not open. Another voice slips warmly into his ear. Don't be afraid. Let's just have fun and play together.

Extend him before free agency opens so you know exactly what your cap situation is.

Good news: I just saw him down at the Stud Pass Rusher store. He was pushing a shopping cart around. Bad news: Mike was with him, I heard him say we don’t need anything here, we have Myles Murphy at home.

LOL. I actually went for walk around the garden. Couldn’t watch the last 2 plays

ArmyBengal Jr. and I are up here in Columbus for the Buckeyes game tonight. Glutton for punishment with these cold weather games but it’s going to be electric in the Shoe tonight !! Hoping the Buckeyes get the win. On a side note and how you know you’re getting old… ArmyBengal Jr. was accepted to Ohio State. Just found out. Definitely a proud Dad moment !!

Before you post something like this again I’d appreciate it if you’d take my $39.99 online course; “Oxcart; The Mysterious Obstacle to NFL Success.” It’s a masterclass in old timey, aw shucks financial management of a modern billion dollar business. Lesson number one is entitled, “Do Nothing. Seriously, Don’t Do Shit”

I think Taylor builds a strong culture, he's a solid free agency recruiter, and he has great respect for tradition. I don't think he does much well on Sundays though. He isn't a great playcaller, he's an even worse game planner (especially early in seasons), he makes bad decisions with respect to risk/reward, and he doesn't seem to have a coherent philosophy. Every week I get the feeling he is winging it.

Well I was thinking and I’m ditching my Burrow jersey and going back to my Geno Atkins jersey for week #4. A win is on the way.

Chase: ; Lemme get him on a conf call Burrow: ok, but make it quick as I have to get to my hair dying guy to get the blonde refreshed Chase: dude....seriously? (ring) (ring) Terrace: hey buddy, wuzzup Chase: come on up here, they wanna look atcha Terrace: you guys are too deep at wide, man. I gotta go play for a bad team like Caro.....oh wait Chase: we getcha on the PS. Easy Peazy Terrace: cant make no money there man Chase: you can get by on 300k, dude. Plus I can getcha some extra scratch with a side hustle with this movin' company with pink trucks Terrace: look whos talkin......your teeth alone cost 300k Chase: yeah, you dont need no teeth like mine. Tee is headin' out next year and we'll need a WR2 Terrace: no man, you'd be WR2, I'd be 1 Chase, uhm yeah, sure dude. So come up here, they get a look at you on the PS for a coupla three weeks, we see how it goes. Burrow: and I throw the passes. You remember, those, right? Does the number 13 and 2019 ring any bells? Terrace: sure they do, Shady. Chase: Joe has an electric Pickup from some closed down Lordstown company.....you can sleep in that. Terrace: Shady has a big house in Anderson, why cant he put me up? Chase: dang it dude, thats where TJ Jackson lives, plus Mixon almost got his ass shot off there. He so scared, he ran off to Texas Terrace: {shudder} say no more, man, say no more Burrow: and I'll talk them into a signing bonus, so you can afford to make coffee and egg muffin runs with Ocho Chase: and you mighta heard? The Super Bowls in Nawlins this year. You remember that too, right? Terrace: Yeah Yeah. Aight. On my way.

I would bet a large sum of cash that there is about no chance of him missing games regardless of no extension.

Have no idea what show Burrow appeared on, but this shit was hilarious. A Steelers fan (i'm assumed he's the host), wearing a TJ Watt shirt says to Burrow: "If you were to predict right now the AFC North (you can put Bengals first), how do you think the other three fall?" To which Burrow quickly responds: "Bengals first and then I don't care !!" So cool and yet so savage at the same time. Love this kid !!

Whew hang in there guys I know this feeling all to well. Good news once JB is back and healthy next year y'all should back in the thick of things. Cheers from a jags fan!

She’s here now. My furnace isn’t working. The previous owner left a schematic with the furnace so she has spent the last 3 hours trying to decipher said schematic. Spoiler: I don’t think the schematic actually goes with my furnace.

Having a competent receiving threat at TE expands the playbook, makes the Bengals less predictable, opens otherwise narrowed route trees, and provides insurance if one of the three receivers is injured. It isn't the most important thing in the world, but it's certainly valuable.

Should be good to go now. Let me know if anyone is still having any problems.

It is a different era. Way better d ends. It is just damn hard to find competent tackles anymore given what they are facing, and the emphasis on passing. We are just one of many teams who struggle to find better o line play, but we are demonstrably better. As far as any effort to rehabilitate Paul Alrxander’s reputation, keep trying. Dude sucked. Couldn’t evaluate talent at all. He’s so good that the cowboys hired him as their o-line coach and he lasted exactly one season. Hasn’t been an o-line coach since, and this is a league dying for competent o-line coaching.

Worry not internet friends, I’ll be at the game on Monday and guarantee a win. I’m 100% wins at PBS (well if you don’t count Brandon Stokely in 2009, which I don’t)

From McNicholas high school (Cincinnati), to the University of Cincinnati, to the Cincinnati Bengals. How cool of a career he has had punting and playing football. Too bad he didn't get a Super Bowl ring on his way out. Good luck to Huber in his future dealings !!!

Regarding the above snippet of the column, which was great, and thanks to Mem, there were a couple of things. 1. I am left curious as to what Munoz's feedback to the question was and what he may have shared with Brown. 2. Typically I really hate when sports people make comparisons between playing a game and being in war, however, the "Sometimes you're only as strong as the man next to you" comment hit home for me. I was the "Doc" on our team in Afghanistan and there was another dude from the team that whenever I went out to treat a casualty in a gun fight, he went with me. When I was treating, he was shooting. Sometimes we both were shooting and the treating had to wait. Either way, that dude had my back all day, every day, with our lives in his hands. I had 100% faith he wouldn't let me take a hit when I was patching up a dude during a fight and he did not let me down. I left country in 2008 and all of us went our separate ways. Of the 15 guys, I had never seen or spoken to any of them. Then, two months ago, while on a trip to DC for work, the two of us just happened to be staying in the same hotel. We saw each other and just hugged each other like we were brothers that hadn't seen each other in 15 years. I didn't need to say thank you, he didn't need to say you're welcome. We knew it, felt it, and continue to live it. We linked up that evening and drank until the sun came up. We again both went our separate ways and if I see my brother ever again, it will be a joyous day. I LOVE those relationships more than any other in my life. My brothers... I don't usually share much about that time, but for some reason it seemed to hit. I'm literally in tears thinking about it now. Hope you all have a great day. Thanks again for sharing Mem, that took me to a good spot today !!

Amateur. I ate 8 heads of cabbage every Sunday hoping the team wouldn't suck. The only thing I got out of it was a squeaky clean colon, which I promptly ruined by eating Arby's potato cakes.

Sign of good times with the Bengals... How nice is it to have disagreements about bubble players that are no longer with the organization, as opposed to how the defense or offense is going to manage to be competent for the season? It's like the team actually did leave town, but we kept the name, colors and history. A new team was awarded to Cincinnati with a new coach and a #1 overall QB pick, which has produced amazingly.

I will throw my thoughts in. TJ tries out and earns the starters role ahead of all these clowns. He earns All Pro honors and since it was a one year deal, he hits the open market in 2024 resetting the right tackle market with a 4 year, 100 million dollar deal, which is fully guaranteed. He does the right thing and contributes half his pay to his brothers at Bengalszone, which will be divided almost equally. I get the big piece of chicken, due to my finders fee of course. With the money, COB surprises each BZ member with their very own customized Rascal Freedom Power Chair ($1500.00 at Sam's Club). The $1.80 upcharge from the normally priced $1498.20 was due to the custom orange and black color scheme with stripes included. That is all...

TJ your 18 foot tall granny turns out to be an autobot, a transformer. She frequently transforms into her vehicle form - a Gold Star Chili food truck that goes to county fairs and little league tournaments in the tri-state area. And, no surprise, when Alita, Battle Angel, has her final confrontation (at a 32 team 10U tourney in Batavia), none other than Mike Brown is loitering around that food truck on his Rascal Freedom Power Chair ($1,498.20 at Sam’s Club). So, you know, it’s all starting to make sense.

Yep, I'll be at Arizona State.

Just now getting over the game. Hope everyone is well here. Hard to be that close and miss.

They double-teamed Hendrickson all night, and Ossai/Hubbard couldn't get to Mahomes fast enough. Hubbard's great, but they really do need another Edge guy that's a real threat, or a dominant interior rusher, not sure how that happens. I do believe the era of Burrow being sacked 6-10 times a game needs to end, back-up's or not, find some guys who don't get hurt and don't suck. 2nd SB run in a row ultimately ended with holding calls and sacks galore. Sick of watching that part of it every year. -- Was still a fun season and believe Burrow will win a ring here

The Bengals we are seeing now in the Burrow era, makes us the luckiest Bengals fans in history… Well… at least since Mikey B. saw COB and Hoosiercat walking out of UDF bored on a late Friday night and offered them both candy and a ride in a Mikey’s just washed and sparkling classic Chevy Lumina. He even lit the cigarette lighter and shared a drag on a J of some homegrown Indian Hills ganja. A flash of Mikey’s garter belt and the guys were convinced they’d finally made it to rarefied epic Fandom. ( Greg Cook wallet shot hanging off Mikey’s key ring almost looked like it smiled and gave a wink, as the doors closed and Mikey took off. )

Who Dey!!! Better send those refunds https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRpptA9h/

Now I can do my job interview with a smile on my face. Who dey, folks. The Bills await.

“First , I want to say, the bengals got hosed by goodell in this “

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You mean they won’t be ready because of seeing Damar get CPR and shocked? Listen up, the year is 1974, I’m on the bus going to our 7th grade basketball game against Licking Valley. Ron Mathias, our starting center, (dude went through puberty in like 4th grade), barfs all over the place, mostly the aisle, really. The smell, the noise, all a complete shit show. Like a champion I am unaffected, went and balled out (4 points and fouled out in the 3rd quarter), we won by 8 points. If required, I will tell that story of epic mental toughness to the Bengals in person.

Wilson benched for TJ’s granny, who immediately completes a ball to CJ Uzomah.

I know most of you don't have The Athletic, so let me drop as a holiday present Dehner's piece on Burrow and back-shoulder throws here - it is a fantastic read - https://theathletic.com/4003309/2022/12/15/joe-burrow-bengals-back-shoulder/

If you still have Rax in your brain, move some cobwebs aside and try to recall Jax. They were exactly like Rax but with a different (similar) name. Jax was before Rax, they sold themselves and became Rax. But not all of them, because I remember some Jax that were going strong while Rax was in existence. When I was a kid there was this old lady on the radio before school. Her show was called “I Remember, I Remember.” She would read her writings for about ten minutes every morning. This was in the 60s, and she had to be like 90. She’d go, “Father would pick some pussy willow branches for the table while momma churned butter,” shit like that. I bring that old lady up because I’m turning into her.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHAHAHHAHA

Kinda been a cursed season since about one second after burrow’s appendix exploded.

I don't watch a lot of college ball as it's not screened in the UK atm(it was last year but no deal has been reached), so highlights are the main source. I have no idea about any of these players we have picked except the board consensus about them. I can only surmise the decisions made were due to:- Passion for the game over NIL negotiations players who fit the new defensive scheme coachable players that this new staff can develop as the previous staff were clueless Its up in the air how this pans out and I will withhold my judgement until we have seen some live play from these rookies.