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2/24/25. A day to celebrate. I’ll be heading over to the Arby’s on state route 79 in Heath and ordering these bad boys from that ill -tempered teenager in the drive through who mocked me for trying to order them a year after they were removed from the menu. Who’s the idiot now, Tristan? I’m not the one wearing a visor backwards in February in Ohio.

If Dax and Myles Murphy were linchpins for the defense, this whole scenario would look different. Dax would be entering the year before his club option decision was looming and the team trying to figure out how to pay him. Myles Murphy would make the Trey situation look much different and have the team to looking for his replacement in the draft, without thought of paying him market money. Even if the light goes on for Myles this year, they have him locked up for three seasons including the option year. Since that is not the case, they could afford to pay both Chase and Tee, because, well… who else are you going to pay?

And Bengals creepypasta is born…No. 14 is Slandyman.

A Panthers wide receiver jolts awake, gasping and in a cold sweat. He quickly sits up, or actually he does not, he tries, but it's no use. His body does not obey his commands. He is stuck to the bed and short of breath. He sees the digital clock display on his nightstand. 14:14 AM. That's when the sleep paralysis demon crawls on top of him, all its weight pressing him into the mattress. He tries to scream, but his mouth will not open. Another voice slips warmly into his ear. Don't be afraid. Let's just have fun and play together.

Extend him before free agency opens so you know exactly what your cap situation is.

Good news: I just saw him down at the Stud Pass Rusher store. He was pushing a shopping cart around. Bad news: Mike was with him, I heard him say we don’t need anything here, we have Myles Murphy at home.

LOL. I actually went for walk around the garden. Couldn’t watch the last 2 plays

ArmyBengal Jr. and I are up here in Columbus for the Buckeyes game tonight. Glutton for punishment with these cold weather games but it’s going to be electric in the Shoe tonight !! Hoping the Buckeyes get the win. On a side note and how you know you’re getting old… ArmyBengal Jr. was accepted to Ohio State. Just found out. Definitely a proud Dad moment !!

Before you post something like this again I’d appreciate it if you’d take my $39.99 online course; “Oxcart; The Mysterious Obstacle to NFL Success.” It’s a masterclass in old timey, aw shucks financial management of a modern billion dollar business. Lesson number one is entitled, “Do Nothing. Seriously, Don’t Do Shit”

I think Taylor builds a strong culture, he's a solid free agency recruiter, and he has great respect for tradition. I don't think he does much well on Sundays though. He isn't a great playcaller, he's an even worse game planner (especially early in seasons), he makes bad decisions with respect to risk/reward, and he doesn't seem to have a coherent philosophy. Every week I get the feeling he is winging it.

Well I was thinking and I’m ditching my Burrow jersey and going back to my Geno Atkins jersey for week #4. A win is on the way.

Chase: ; Lemme get him on a conf call Burrow: ok, but make it quick as I have to get to my hair dying guy to get the blonde refreshed Chase: dude....seriously? (ring) (ring) Terrace: hey buddy, wuzzup Chase: come on up here, they wanna look atcha Terrace: you guys are too deep at wide, man. I gotta go play for a bad team like Caro.....oh wait Chase: we getcha on the PS. Easy Peazy Terrace: cant make no money there man Chase: you can get by on 300k, dude. Plus I can getcha some extra scratch with a side hustle with this movin' company with pink trucks Terrace: look whos talkin......your teeth alone cost 300k Chase: yeah, you dont need no teeth like mine. Tee is headin' out next year and we'll need a WR2 Terrace: no man, you'd be WR2, I'd be 1 Chase, uhm yeah, sure dude. So come up here, they get a look at you on the PS for a coupla three weeks, we see how it goes. Burrow: and I throw the passes. You remember, those, right? Does the number 13 and 2019 ring any bells? Terrace: sure they do, Shady. Chase: Joe has an electric Pickup from some closed down Lordstown company.....you can sleep in that. Terrace: Shady has a big house in Anderson, why cant he put me up? Chase: dang it dude, thats where TJ Jackson lives, plus Mixon almost got his ass shot off there. He so scared, he ran off to Texas Terrace: {shudder} say no more, man, say no more Burrow: and I'll talk them into a signing bonus, so you can afford to make coffee and egg muffin runs with Ocho Chase: and you mighta heard? The Super Bowls in Nawlins this year. You remember that too, right? Terrace: Yeah Yeah. Aight. On my way.

I would bet a large sum of cash that there is about no chance of him missing games regardless of no extension.

Have no idea what show Burrow appeared on, but this shit was hilarious. A Steelers fan (i'm assumed he's the host), wearing a TJ Watt shirt says to Burrow: "If you were to predict right now the AFC North (you can put Bengals first), how do you think the other three fall?" To which Burrow quickly responds: "Bengals first and then I don't care !!" So cool and yet so savage at the same time. Love this kid !!

No, no, I didn't take it that way at all. What federal agencies still exist come end of the year remains to be seen. Clearly, I'm an advocate for Veterans and always will be.

“We’re going to score 75 points a game… and we’re going to have to.” LMAO !! So true.

NFLPA Team Report Card: Category 14: Arby’s accessibility and quality: Cincinnati Bengals - 27th. Unlike some teams that provide Arby’s (Chiefs - unlimited Arby’s any time of day or night. Chargers - Arby’s free at lunch during season), the Bengals have only a coupon system to get Arby’s into the hands of hungry players. Several players complained about a certain zit-faced teenage drive through worker on loan to the Montgomery Road location from an Arby’s in Heath, Ohio. “This youngster argued with me about my coupon, but worst of all, he was very rude to several late middle-age customers who just weren’t familiar with Arby’s’s current menu,” said one player. Another Bengal player added, “If I hit on some of my incentive bonuses this year I’m going to hire a hitman to kill this pimply-faced teenager from the Montgomery road drive through. That’ll teach him to respect his elders. And to accept the coupon Mike gave me even though it says ‘Expires 9/2018”.

Always will root for Dalton. Him and his wife are really good people that do great things in their communities. Happy for him, while simultaneously acknowledging that I don't want him anywhere near my football team.

Set in stone? No, not at all. Part of a plan (one which could change)? YES. There's no refuting the fact everyone knew how this was going to play out. Well, anyone that knows how this has played out previously. I can recall making comments on this board earlier than that, that if Tee were to keep being a factor for this offense (which he still is even a reduced role) there would be no way for them to keep him, Chase and Burrow. Why? Because the market dictates what these players are worth, not the fans. I would love him to take a Pittman style deal, but why do that when one of these teams with money to burn will back up the truck to your doorstep? Unless playing with the buddies he has made here and being a contender is more valuable, then I still see him leaving. As always for all players... how much does winning really mean to you? EDIT: We hear all the time they just want to be able to take care of their families. I'm still not sure what the hell that means, because he has made nearly $32 million over the course of being in the NFL since 2020. Over that same course of time, I haven't made a million, but take care of mine and other families like a madman. Maybe we have different definitions of what that means.

I am more than willing to give the front office credit for getting some deals done, but those are not in and of themselves an indication of a modern way of doing business in the NFL. I periodically change the oil in my car. That in and of itself does not make me a mechanic.

I’m a consultant in the food industry. My latest report: the teenager working the drive through window at the Arby’s on State Route 79 in Heath, Ohio, should refrain from mocking the customers who haven’t kept up with Arby’s menu changes and don’t know that they haven’t sold potato cakes in a couple years.

Please die, Baltimore Ravens.

To me it’s obvious now that Golden has been the guy since probably before they fired Lou. They didn’t even bring Saleh or Eberflus in for an interview. Disappointing to me in the sense that you don’t know what you don’t know until you talk to people and learn something. Maybe Golden really is the best out there, but if you don’t compare him to the best, how do you even know?

Priority #1: Go Ravens’ opponent Priority #2: Go Lions Priority #3: Go Chiefs’ opponent

When it comes to coordinators and head coaches, firings are always unfair to some degree. It's rarely 100% the coach's fault. But that's part of the job, and these guys know that when they sign up. Lou's time finally ran out, and really, a six-year run is pretty good in this league. I wish him the best, as long as he's not coaching against us.

I expect nothing re: firing, but here's my pipe dream wishlist in order anyway (leaving off the Brown family): First Person Fired: Duke Tobin -- we can justify letting Jessie Bates and DJ Reader walk if and only if we are able to draft and sign capable replacements. Dax Hill was a flop as a safety and Sheldon Rankins did nothing. The last four drafts have all seen at least one complete lemon taken in the first three rounds: Jackson Carman (2021), Dax Hill and Zach Carter (2022), Myles Murphy (2023, pending), and Jermaine Burton (2024). The offensive line still has absolutely no depth. Get the fuck out. Second Person Fired: Zac Taylor -- I don't blame Zac for everything that's gone wrong, but I blame him for putting an unprepared and terrible product on the field in September every single season he has been here. It has cost them too many times. It blew the playoffs entirely in 2024. It killed 1-seed contention and forced them to play the AFCCG on the road in 2022. He is a serviceable playcaller and a bad game manager. He's also never produced a consistent running game. Third Person Fired: Frank Pollack -- They've fed him a steady stream of free agents and draft picks. Some of the latter have been Tobin's fault, but not all. Alex Cappa fell off a cliff after having been quite solid in 2022. Cordell Volson has not meaningfully developed and still started for three years. Joe just got sacked almost 50 times again. Fourth Person Fired: Lou Anarumo -- Maybe I'm insane for leaving the defensive coordinator this far down the list after a season in which the defense so visibly shat their pants. I just tend to place the blame on team building first (Tobin). He can still be held to the fire, however, for the good (theoretically) players that collapsed this year. What the fuck happened to Cam Taylor-Britt? Where was Jordan Battle the first half of the season? Why did Geno Stone look like he was completely clueless all year? Ideally, fire them all. I have no use for this staff. You don't get to miss the playoffs with a healthy Joe Burrow. Get out.

Third down incompletion forced? With no flag? Incredible

One agent to sign them all and in the darkness bind them

I admire your willingness to stay up for the weekly dumpster fire, glasgow

Fire Zac Taylor and Lou Anarumo. Hire Bill Belichick, who has pretty much never had a bad defense in his life. Let Joe Burrow adapt to a head coach that is just as much of a psychopath as he is about winning. Suffer his inconsistent drafting record, because Tobin isn't doing any better anyway. At least he'll win games when Joe throws 3 TDs.*** ***All of the above is useless dreaming, I'm well aware

Why do you throw on 3rd and 1 when you need to run the clock? You are in a last possession situation. Zac Taylor absolutely has no feel for momentum or situational football. It’s why he loses close games.

With a home loss to the Steelers, this should be the priority of coaches to be fired... All of them, except Darrin Simmons. Find a way to fire Pollack twice if possible. Kick Lou Anarumo in the nuts. Next step, hire the coaching staff from the movie "Draft Day" with Kevin Costner. Getting Costner as a GM would be a bonus. He can really work the shit out of a draft. He just has to continue staying away from any player with Diddy as their agent.

We’ll be fine if we just upgrade LG, C, RG, OL depth, RB depth, WR depth, IDL, DE, CB, S, and LS. Maybe even K and OLB. Simple!

Mainly focusing on this portion of your post.

They’d be as well letting them score a TD here as it’s the only way they get the ball back

“Buh gawd, at Dartmouth we didn’t call up Colgate and ask to trade players, we went right out and played with the guys we had! And great fellows they were! I remember old Trip Buffington, what a great lineman, linebacker, safety, tight end, placekicker, and emergency quarterback he was! We’ll be fine. Folks are loving coming down to the ol’ stadium on game day!”

These other teams have a lot of nerve going out and trading for good veteran players. Mike needs to give them a good stern talking to, explain his “pay as you go” strategy. They’ll see the light, they’ll abandon these advanced cap management tactics, and they’ll see that these multi billion dollar businesses really are at their best when they are run the way your grandad ran his corner store.

Can’t extend Tee because you have to save your cap space to fail to extend Chase!

There might not be another song in the history of music that I hate more than that one. It’s the kind of song killing sprees are born from.

The Steelers forgot to provide a sacrifice to the blood demon this week.

For so many years before I retired from the Army, all I wanted to do was get season tickets like my dad had when I was growing up. I never did. I have been to many games but not nearly the amount it could have cost me had I gone that route. I still love my Bengals, but I’m picky about when and which games I attend. Like I’ve heard so many times… When I die, I want Bengals players to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last time.

I will have the DVR running for that one. It's ArmyBengal Jr.'s senior year in high school and we are opening the season in Indianapolis to watch his Texans take on the Colts. I have really grown to love the Texans over the years of my son rooting for them. Going to Indy and Houston with him is a lot of fun. I'm selfishly hoping he decides to stay close to home for college, so we can keep going to games together. He's a good kid !! However, if we wouldn't have been in Indy, we definitely would have been at the Bengals home opener.

I have seen the Dalton AJ green era play at Wembley against Washington. I haven't left the UK in over 30 years mainly due to a bad holiday experience in my teens, but aside from that I am finally coming to the states for a holiday in Orlando for 2 weeks in December. I have managed to get tickets for week 15 at Tennessee for me and a friend as it coincides with the trip and an internal flight or a 10 hour road trip is on the cards lol. I thought it would be quite poignant to pick this game with Brian Callahan HC of the Titans, so I am finally going to see Joe Burrow and the current team live to say I am excited is an understatement, so hopefully by then we are sitting pretty with a good record and I can enjoy the game.

I Think Matt Lee lee-pfrogs no knees Hill for backup OC spot Looks like he handled his guy on every snap, but then also look at 1 min 26 seconds on this tape, hos he effortlessly jumps to an unchecked insider rusher from the block he was on even better at 2:14 mark

I’ve contacted that concrete plant beside our practice facility. The conversation centered around a long list of reasons they should consider adding an Arby’s to their facility.

It's been over a year since we've heard Mike Brown's thoughts and since we just had the draft, I thought we'd check back in... "Pumpkin, come in here please." Katie walks into Mike's Paycor Stadium office only to find him feverishly building a coffin for himself. "DAD !?!?, what the hell are you doing building a coffin?" Mike looks at her with a crazed, yet completely serious look and mutters.... "I've finally done it, I have found a way to be immortal and I fooled EVERYONE. MUAAAAAHAAAHAAA !!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" "I can't believe even you didn't see my master plan and way to live forever." "I DRAFTED A VAMPIRE !! MUAAAAAHAAAHAAA !!" "What the hell are you talking about Dad?" "The first round kid we took, he's a vampire." "No he's not dad, I think you are confused." "NO, I've never been more clear. After watching the documentary "Queen of the Damned", I learned about "Marius" the elder vampire." "He's going to turn me and my rule over the NFL will be FOREVER !! MUAAAAAHAAAHAAA !!" "I've installed windows throughout my office that will automatically filter out the sunlight during the day and we will have a constant stream of homeless people in for "dinner" MUAAAAAHAAAHAAA !!" "No more exoskeleton's, no more plans to save my head in a persistent state, NO MORE FUCKING RASCAL FREEDOM POWER WHEELCHAIR !!" "I will finally have my revenge on that TJ fucker from the Bengalszone board as well !!" "Dad, I hate to tell you, but his name is "Amarius", not Marius. Not to mention "Queen of the Damned" is a made up movie, not a documentary." "***damnit... can you get my rascal and a Boost drink from the refrigerator?" "Tell me then, who the hell is Amarius Mims?" Mike proceeds to piss himself as he stares blankly out the window...

Merged. Almost forgot how to do that. It's been a while. Back in the early days, that was an every day occurrence.

this is the logo I wanted at midfield

I hammered down a half pound Arby’s sandwich then watched us draft this dude from Bama. So righteous.

“If I Did It 2.0” - by Cancer