2026 Off-season notes

[Scottishbengal]

7 hours ago, ArmyBengal said:

I mean just when you think the Super Bowl is within reach.........

It is for me !!

Just booked flights to Cincy to watch the Superbowl in some bar or other. Hopefully the Bengals will be representing, if not it'll still be an experience to indulge in the occassion stateside for a change. 

[COB]

12 hours ago, HoosierCat said:

Without question the biggest loss of the off-season. She will be missed.

https://www.foxnews.com/outkick-sports/big-things-brewing-field-tampa-jake-browning-wife-plans-upgrade-fit-checks

I wonder if Tampa Bay knows what they’re getting with Bodysuit.  The PTSD I have from watching her boyfriend play football last year is conveniently offset by the endorphin tsunami I experience whenever I think of her in that orange onesie.

[ArmyBengal]

For those keeping tabs, 3 freakin’ weeks from today is the Bengals first preseason game.

That is all...

[ArmyBengal]

Not exactly "off season" stuff since the preseason has started and not a Bengals thing, but if you haven't been paying attention to the Jayden Daniel thing regarding "his" #5 at LSU and them letting another player wear the number, you are missing out.  Take a look at this and I amusingly point you in the direction of the links provided from the MLS, MLB, Minor League Baseball, the CFL, college soccer, golf, stubhub and even consumer brands.  It may get old, but it's pretty hilarious to me at this point in time !!

https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/jayden-daniels-has-learned-a-valuable-and-costly-p-r-lesson

[Prophecy]

Seahawks just signed CB Devon Witherspoon to a 4-yr $132 million contract with $101 million guaranteed. 

Mikey just shit his diapers. "$33 mil for a DB? And what do you mean they guaranteed more than the 1st year of a contract? "

Poor DJ and Dax

[HoosierCat]

Could be. OTOH reports are they are one of three teams exploring a trade for CB Carrington Valentine, another DB in a contract year, so…

https://www.cincyjungle.com/cincinnati-bengals-rumors/196516/carrington-valentine-packers-news

[ArmyBengal]

I just figure the Bengals front office couldn’t care less about other player contracts. They are going to do what they want, when they want and whatever happens happens. It’s not like they haven’t signed players to big number deals.

That being said, that’s a big number for a CB. Like they say though, market dictates.

[ArmyBengal]

I know it’s not the offseason but I didn’t want to put this in the game thread.

It appears our boy Joe Mixon has a new business venture called “One Sock“.

I know what you are thinking… why promote how many punches it took him to knock a mouthy bitch clean the fuck out?

However you would be wrong, it’s actually performance socks.

https://sports.yahoo.com/articles/former-bengals-texans-star-joe-224435047.html

[COB]

On 10/4/2026 at 6:33 AM, ArmyBengal said:

It appears our boy Joe Mixon has a new business venture called “One Sock“.

Memo

From: Mike Brown

To: Joe Mixon

Joe, as your former employer, I welcome the opportunity to help you along in business.

Let me be the first to welcome you to the sock game.
 

You may not know the history of socks, it’s a complex and deeply fascinating story. One important facet of it is the untimely demise of the very underappreciated sock garter.
 

Your socks probably use elastic to hold the sock up on the calf. This is a very misguided and wrong headed approach to proper sock functioning.  

The “elastic revolution” in sock design was one of the worst things to ever happen.  For over a century men’s socks were held up by sock garters. These sock garters were truly the most outstanding accessory a gentleman could wear. I won’t go into detail, but I can tell you from personal experience that when a young lady would get a good glimpse of a well-made sock garter holding up the socks of an educated, cultured man, well, let’s just say that the gentleman was in for a bit of a rambunctious time (truss loosened, or sometimes even removed, in record time).
 

The Ellastic  Mafia, as I like to call them, has a chokehold on the sock industry. It has been this way for 60 years.
 

I’m too old to change things. You’re young and have the energy and the ambition.

My suggestion to you is to attack this industry with a three prong approach.

First prong, you spearhead a class action lawsuit against socks that use elastic to hold themselves up. It should be a dead bang winner. Just take the average person - he’s driving his golf cart around a football practice field seven or eight hours a day, his calves are getting compressed too much by this uncomfortable and overly restrictive elastic sock. He ends up having a variety of health issues from this elastic over-constriction, including, but not limited to, extreme liver spotting on his bald head. There have to be tens of thousands of such cases, shouldn’t be a problem for you to win that case and have elastic socks done away with forever. I would file and prosecute this case myself, but my family has discouraged me from doing so. They think I’m just some dumb hick. They said that to me at a dinner.
 

Prong two: at the same time you file the lawsuit, you start a new business manufacturing high-quality, long lasting, sock garters.  My guess is you’ll have the market to yourself, I’ve searched far and wide, and there are very few if any sock garter manufacturers left. To help provide some insight, I have taken the liberty of buying you a 24 month subscription to a great periodical called Sock Garter Enthusiast. Once you read a few issues of this magazine, you’ll be up to speed on the cultural significance and all the health benefits of sock garters.

Prong 3: finally, you’re probably wondering how you will finance all this. You won’t believe this, but building a sock garter factory and financing an anti-elastic class action lawsuit is not something you should take on yourself. This is a classic case where the taxpayers should pay for it. I’ve been through this exact type of thing and it shouldn’t be a problem to gin up some public support for sock garters once the public is exposed to the aesthetic and the civilized righteousness of sock garters.

I know you live in Texas now.  I suggest you set up a meeting with the local county commissioners. Explain how the factory you’re going to build can benefit the local community and demand that they pay for 1. the construction of the factory, 2. the ongoing maintenance of the factory, and 3. any improvements that you may decide are needed in the years to come.
 

This is a tried and true method and it makes business so much easier. It’s hard for me to comprehend why more people haven’t pursued this public option to finance their endeavors.

Joe, I was thrilled to see you have entered the sock game.  Best of luck to you.

Sincerely,

Mike Brown