Carson Palmer Thread

[membengal]

We continue to agree to disagree on this, hokie. So be it. I just wanted to clarify what the issue was, as people were equating this to opening the door for a mass exodus, which is silly.

I know, right? I told myself that I wouldn't comment on this thread again and here I am. Pretty much saying the same things probably...

Is the CBA fixed yet?

Sadly, it is not. Or, actually, happily it is not. I am still in the burn! burn! portion of my off-season. I want to spread the pain amongst all the NFL.

[HairOnFire]

Is the CBA fixed yet?

Sadly, it is not. Or, actually, happily it is not. I am still in the burn! burn! portion of my off-season. I want to spread the pain amongst all the NFL.

My feelings exactly.

FWIW, I can't see how anything has changed. Mike Brown repeated what he's said before using slightly different wording and Carson Palmer was actually spotted saying he won't say anything. Meanwhile, the lockout goes on....forcing neither side to actually say or do a thing. And so they don't.

Of course I'm amused by Hoosier's earlier post about feeling queasy by what is or isn't happening. People, that queasy feeling you're getting means the plan is working.

[COB]

They better get that CBA in place quickly, or Stabby's going to go on a killing spree or something. The media all assumed Ray was talking about the fans, I think he was just straight up threatening mankind.

[walzav29]

Think of the change in history if in 1983 the Bengals had the #1 pick instead of Baltimore and drafted John Elway. Brown would have never traded him, and Elway would have never played in the NFL. He would have just stuck to baseball. I guess in hindsight you have to give credit to Eli and Elway in the sense that they straight up said they would never play for San Diego and Baltimore. Carson should have done that in 2003. Now he just looks gutless.

[HoosierCat]

People, that queasy feeling you're getting means the plan is working.

Yes, exactly. A "plan" which would result in a team spending $11.5 million on a QB who, by his own admission, doesn't want to be here; who is widely perceived now as having no redeeming leadership qualities; and who is accused of being old and washed up. It's a veritable trifecta of classic Bengals bungles.

[HairOnFire]

People, that queasy feeling you're getting means the plan is working.

Yes, exactly. A "plan" which would result in a team spending $11.5 million on a QB who, by his own admission, doesn't want to be here; who is widely perceived now as having no redeeming leadership qualities; and who is accused of being old and washed up. It's a veritable trifecta of classic Bengals bungles.

Right, but we're Bengal fans. We slow down and stare when passing car wrecks. Or we hit pause just before the video shows the nose of a cruise missle about to pierce the air shaft of an underground bunker. That's right, we're Bengal fans and we're here for the boom. Implode or explode hardly matters.

The plan is working. Or rather, it's progressing. The new backup QB is in the fold. Meanwhile, the old starter has finally emerged from his hole, seen his own shadow, and returned quietly to his den.

The odds of his return to stripes?

Probably 90% or more.

[jjakq27]

Think of the change in history if in 1983 the Bengals had the #1 pick instead of Baltimore and drafted John Elway. Brown would have never traded him, and Elway would have never played in the NFL. He would have just stuck to baseball. I guess in hindsight you have to give credit to Eli and Elway in the sense that they straight up said they would never play for San Diego and Baltimore. Carson should have done that in 2003. Now he just looks gutless.

Or we coulda taken Dan Marino instead of Dave Rimington. That woulda been easier because we had control over that situation.

Carson said all the right things in 2003. He was young and was the new face of the franchise under Marvin's guidance. There was no reason to believe that he didn't want to play here so I am not sure that calling Carson gutless for not denying the Bengals in 2003 is a very valid comment. However, considering the injuries, some of the player moves, Chad's never-ending BS and eight years of ups-and-downs he (and maybe Mrs. P) has obviously had enough of being a Bengal.

[BenFischer]

Carson Palmer is pregnant and can't play football anyways.

[BengalszoneBilly]

Carson Palmer is pregnant and can't play football anyways.

This from a guy who's member name is CPMVP. You're pushing it newb.

[volcom69]

Carson Palmer is pregnant and can't play football anyways.

Na his pu**y just hurts!!!

[DC_Bengals_Fan]

The odds of his return to stripes? Probably 90% or more.

I thought you said Mike Brown was cannily setting up the scenario under which he uses his Jedi mind trick to extract maximum trade value.

[HairOnFire]

The odds of his return to stripes? Probably 90% or more.

I thought you said Mike Brown was cannily setting up the scenario under which he uses his Jedi mind trick to extract maximum trade value.

Who needs Jedi mind tricks when you can so easily point to a long history of crushed trade demands? The fact remains that if trade offers are considered they won't be from teams looking to lowball the Bengals. Trade value has been maximized, and that didn't happen because Brown stupidly agreed to trade Palmer when no trades were possible, as so many Bengal fans insisted he do. Regardless, if Brown remains adamant about not trading Palmer, as I believe he intends to do, Palmer's options are reduced to one....and he's not going to like it.

The plan is working, and if the thought of Palmer returning makes you queasy, well.....as Bengal fans we should be used to that type of thing by now. In fact, as so many are pointing out....Chad might be back too.

[ArmyBengal]

You are seeing it spoken about among many teams.

They were planning on moving on with another younger player, but with the lockout, they are starting to feel there won't be enough time to get the new guy in the fold. They think the team would be best served by keeping someone around they otherwise had no plans of keeping. Chad seems to fit this mold exactly.

The most recent example is the Jets wanting to move on with Ducasse at OT, but are now thinking Damien Woody will be back for another round.

Yes, embrace the suck !!!

[DC_Bengals_Fan]

Trade value has been maximized, and that didn't happen because Brown stupidly agreed to trade Palmer when no trades were possible,

Oh sure. Now he just has to, you know, execute the trade when the CBA gets done.

I've said it before many times - hell, probably at least 5 times in this very thread alone. But if he didn't take Danny Boy's king's ransom for the court jester back in 2008, why would I think he'll make the sane move with Palmer?

Nobody's suggesting he should have taken the Cardinals' promise ring for Palmer back 3 months ago. The problem is that I fully believe him when he says he intends to make Palmer retire.

[HairOnFire]

Trade value has been maximized, and that didn't happen because Brown stupidly agreed to trade Palmer when no trades were possible,

Oh sure. Now he just has to, you know, execute the trade when the CBA gets done.

I wouldn't rule it out. Then again, I'm not counting on it either. What I do know is Mike Brown has done absolutely nothing to harm Carson Palmer's trade value, and has made several statements that should discourage anyone who is now considering making a lowball bid. Whatever trade value Carson Palmer once had is still intact. As is Mike Brown's stance about letting Palmer retire if he won't honor the terms of his contract.

But if he didn't take Danny Boy's king's ransom for the court jester back in 2008, why would I think he'll make the sane move with Palmer?

Yeah, why would you think Mike Brown will trade Palmer when everytime he's asked about it he says he won't? Sheesh, the man has told you what his intentions are and has openly discussed the plans the team has should Palmer return or not. He's not forcing you to guess about anything. There are almost no blanks needing to be filled in. The plan, such as it is, is both well known and progressing on schedule. In short, it's working. And yeah, whenever there's a new CBA the plan may or may not change as circumstances and changes dictate. But rather than make a bunch of needless statements that reduce his options Mike Brown has done everything required to keep ALL of his options alive.

You, on the other hand, would have already popped off about the need and desre to trade a disgruntled player, thereby reducing his trade value while making it a virtual certainty that Palmer never returns. And that's fine, to a point. But unlike Brown you would have taken steps that limited your own options. You would have painted yourself into a corner, needlessly, without gaining a thing. In other words, in your role as fake GM you would have performed more incompetently than Mikehole Brown.

Props.

The problem is that I fully believe him when he says he intends to make Palmer retire.

Yeah, well....that isn't a problem. It's the plan itself.

[DC_Bengals_Fan]

The plan, such as it is, is both well known and progressing on schedule.

You're such a sweet kid. You think Mike Brown actually has a plan. This guy needs an assistant to remind him when the 4:00 special at Sizzler starts.

The problem is that I fully believe him when he says he intends to make Palmer retire.

Yeah, well....that isn't a problem. It's the plan itself.

Yeah, well - like the kids say, "citation needed". I gave him the benefit of the doubt for that once, no more.

You know, sometimes when it looks like Mike Brown's s**t himself, sounds like he's s**t himself, and smells like he's s**t himself....it really is just a pile of crap. If he was half as smart a GM as you're clearly giving him credit for, we might have had a playoff win sometime since I acquired the ability to sprout a boner (so says the father of 3).

[HairOnFire]

The plan, such as it is, is both well known and progressing on schedule.

You're such a sweet kid. You think Mike Brown actually has a plan. This guy needs an assistant to remind him when the 4:00 special at Sizzler starts.

I'm sorry, I briefy mistook you for someone who had an actual opinion to share. In retrospect it's now obvious you've got absolutely nothing to say.

I move on.

[TJJackson]

(Mike Brown) needs an assistant to remind him when the 4:00 special at Sizzler starts.

Perhaps you need an assistant to remind you that there are no Sizzlers in Cincinnati anymore

So funny when a fan of another team comes and pretends to know about the Bengals and/or Cincinnati, but gives away the truth so easily

I am guessing this particular retard is from s**ttsburgh.

[Stripes]

"This particular retard" has nearly 4,000 posts under the easily recognized tag "DC_Bengals_Fan". He's no troll, nor any retard.

[TJJackson]

Ah well, not the first time I have been wrong :-)

(nor the last)

[HairOnFire]

"This particular retard" has nearly 4,000 posts under the easily recognized tag "DC_Bengals_Fan". He's no troll, nor any retard.

Nevermind.

On second thought I realize some things shouldn't be put to a vote.

[HairOnFire]

Some guys just know how to enjoy a lockout.

Chris Cooley Prank Calls Carson Palmer, Denver Broncos To Try To Create Fake Trade

by Mike Prada Jun 3, 2011 12:31 PM EDT

There are prank calls, and then there is what Chris Cooley did to Carson Palmer and the Denver Broncos. Prank calls usually involve one phone call, maybe two to keep up the joke for as long as possible. What Chris Cooley did is not a prank call. It is something far beyond that, a new kind of joke that cannot be defined because it is too awesome and hilarious to put into words.

Essentially, Cooley made several phone calls to Palmer, Broncos GM John Elway, Broncos coach John Fox and Bengals coach Marvin Lewis to pretend that Palmer and the Broncos both wanted to make a trade to send Palmer to Denver. Here's the exchange Cooley described to NFL Network's Rich Eisen, as transcribed by Brian Tinsman of Redskins Blog.

So I tried to call [reportedly disgruntled Bengals QB] Carson Palmer, but I just got to voicemail. In all of these sequence of calls that I made, I only got to voicemail. I hate call-screeners. I tried to do my best John Elway voice.

I told him I was [broncos executive VP] John Elway, and I said 'Listen, I hate Tim Tebow. I want you, I want you out here in Denver. And I know I shouldn't be calling you, we can't talk. You gotta keep it down. But we're gonna make this work.'

In and of itself, that's an amazing prank, considering Palmer has been so outspoken against the Bengals and considering all the criticism Tebow faces. But wait, there's more.

So then I laugh for a minute, turn right around and call John Elway back. I talk to John. This is my childhood idol, by the way, and I said, 'Hey, it's Carson. I got your message and I hate Cincinnati, I don't wanna be here. I'd love to come out to Denver.' I mean, I accentuated these calls a bit, I'm giving you the short version.

How Cooley managed to impersonate both Palmer and Elway is kind of amazing. But really, it's the last part of the prank that ends up making the whole thing awesome.

And then, to finish the sequence, I called [bengals head coach] Marvin Lewis. I really made these calls. I said 'Listen, I'd prefer to be an unnamed General Manager,' but in the background I had someone yell 'Hey Bruce!' And I said, 'There's just a lot of tampering going on between the Denver Broncos and your quarterback.'

See! He was trying to help the Redskins and sabotage two other teams! Best. Prank. Ever.

[BengalszoneBilly]

Some guys just know how to enjoy a lockout.

Chris Cooley Prank Calls Carson Palmer, Denver Broncos To Try To Create Fake Trade

by Mike Prada • Jun 3, 2011 12:31 PM EDT

There are prank calls, and then there is what Chris Cooley did to Carson Palmer and the Denver Broncos. Prank calls usually involve one phone call, maybe two to keep up the joke for as long as possible. What Chris Cooley did is not a prank call. It is something far beyond that, a new kind of joke that cannot be defined because it is too awesome and hilarious to put into words.

Essentially, Cooley made several phone calls to Palmer, Broncos GM John Elway, Broncos coach John Fox and Bengals coach Marvin Lewis to pretend that Palmer and the Broncos both wanted to make a trade to send Palmer to Denver. Here's the exchange Cooley described to NFL Network's Rich Eisen, as transcribed by Brian Tinsman of Redskins Blog.

So I tried to call [reportedly disgruntled Bengals QB] Carson Palmer, but I just got to voicemail. In all of these sequence of calls that I made, I only got to voicemail. I hate call-screeners. I tried to do my best John Elway voice.

I told him I was [broncos executive VP] John Elway, and I said 'Listen, I hate Tim Tebow. I want you, I want you out here in Denver. And I know I shouldn't be calling you, we can't talk. You gotta keep it down. But we're gonna make this work.'

In and of itself, that's an amazing prank, considering Palmer has been so outspoken against the Bengals and considering all the criticism Tebow faces. But wait, there's more.

So then I laugh for a minute, turn right around and call John Elway back. I talk to John. This is my childhood idol, by the way, and I said, 'Hey, it's Carson. I got your message and I hate Cincinnati, I don't wanna be here. I'd love to come out to Denver.' I mean, I accentuated these calls a bit, I'm giving you the short version.

How Cooley managed to impersonate both Palmer and Elway is kind of amazing. But really, it's the last part of the prank that ends up making the whole thing awesome.

And then, to finish the sequence, I called [bengals head coach] Marvin Lewis. I really made these calls. I said 'Listen, I'd prefer to be an unnamed General Manager,' but in the background I had someone yell 'Hey Bruce!' And I said, 'There's just a lot of tampering going on between the Denver Broncos and your quarterback.'

See! He was trying to help the Redskins and sabotage two other teams! Best. Prank. Ever.

Oh God. I'd love to hear that live!

[Dimster28]

Some guys just know how to enjoy a lockout.

Chris Cooley Prank Calls Carson Palmer, Denver Broncos To Try To Create Fake Trade

by Mike Prada • Jun 3, 2011 12:31 PM EDT

There are prank calls, and then there is what Chris Cooley did to Carson Palmer and the Denver Broncos. Prank calls usually involve one phone call, maybe two to keep up the joke for as long as possible. What Chris Cooley did is not a prank call. It is something far beyond that, a new kind of joke that cannot be defined because it is too awesome and hilarious to put into words.

Essentially, Cooley made several phone calls to Palmer, Broncos GM John Elway, Broncos coach John Fox and Bengals coach Marvin Lewis to pretend that Palmer and the Broncos both wanted to make a trade to send Palmer to Denver. Here's the exchange Cooley described to NFL Network's Rich Eisen, as transcribed by Brian Tinsman of Redskins Blog.

So I tried to call [reportedly disgruntled Bengals QB] Carson Palmer, but I just got to voicemail. In all of these sequence of calls that I made, I only got to voicemail. I hate call-screeners. I tried to do my best John Elway voice.

I told him I was [broncos executive VP] John Elway, and I said 'Listen, I hate Tim Tebow. I want you, I want you out here in Denver. And I know I shouldn't be calling you, we can't talk. You gotta keep it down. But we're gonna make this work.'

In and of itself, that's an amazing prank, considering Palmer has been so outspoken against the Bengals and considering all the criticism Tebow faces. But wait, there's more.

So then I laugh for a minute, turn right around and call John Elway back. I talk to John. This is my childhood idol, by the way, and I said, 'Hey, it's Carson. I got your message and I hate Cincinnati, I don't wanna be here. I'd love to come out to Denver.' I mean, I accentuated these calls a bit, I'm giving you the short version.

How Cooley managed to impersonate both Palmer and Elway is kind of amazing. But really, it's the last part of the prank that ends up making the whole thing awesome.

And then, to finish the sequence, I called [bengals head coach] Marvin Lewis. I really made these calls. I said 'Listen, I'd prefer to be an unnamed General Manager,' but in the background I had someone yell 'Hey Bruce!' And I said, 'There's just a lot of tampering going on between the Denver Broncos and your quarterback.'

See! He was trying to help the Redskins and sabotage two other teams! Best. Prank. Ever.

wow, not surpised if this happen - redskin will cut him, and no team will sign him.

this is not a prank, but looking for trouble and cause problem.

[BengalPimp]

Some guys just know how to enjoy a lockout.

Chris Cooley Prank Calls Carson Palmer, Denver Broncos To Try To Create Fake Trade

by Mike Prada • Jun 3, 2011 12:31 PM EDT

There are prank calls, and then there is what Chris Cooley did to Carson Palmer and the Denver Broncos. Prank calls usually involve one phone call, maybe two to keep up the joke for as long as possible. What Chris Cooley did is not a prank call. It is something far beyond that, a new kind of joke that cannot be defined because it is too awesome and hilarious to put into words.

Essentially, Cooley made several phone calls to Palmer, Broncos GM John Elway, Broncos coach John Fox and Bengals coach Marvin Lewis to pretend that Palmer and the Broncos both wanted to make a trade to send Palmer to Denver. Here's the exchange Cooley described to NFL Network's Rich Eisen, as transcribed by Brian Tinsman of Redskins Blog.

So I tried to call [reportedly disgruntled Bengals QB] Carson Palmer, but I just got to voicemail. In all of these sequence of calls that I made, I only got to voicemail. I hate call-screeners. I tried to do my best John Elway voice.

I told him I was [broncos executive VP] John Elway, and I said 'Listen, I hate Tim Tebow. I want you, I want you out here in Denver. And I know I shouldn't be calling you, we can't talk. You gotta keep it down. But we're gonna make this work.'

In and of itself, that's an amazing prank, considering Palmer has been so outspoken against the Bengals and considering all the criticism Tebow faces. But wait, there's more.

So then I laugh for a minute, turn right around and call John Elway back. I talk to John. This is my childhood idol, by the way, and I said, 'Hey, it's Carson. I got your message and I hate Cincinnati, I don't wanna be here. I'd love to come out to Denver.' I mean, I accentuated these calls a bit, I'm giving you the short version.

How Cooley managed to impersonate both Palmer and Elway is kind of amazing. But really, it's the last part of the prank that ends up making the whole thing awesome.

And then, to finish the sequence, I called [bengals head coach] Marvin Lewis. I really made these calls. I said 'Listen, I'd prefer to be an unnamed General Manager,' but in the background I had someone yell 'Hey Bruce!' And I said, 'There's just a lot of tampering going on between the Denver Broncos and your quarterback.'

See! He was trying to help the Redskins and sabotage two other teams! Best. Prank. Ever.

Chris Cooley is Awesome. He puts a lot of thought and effort into his prank calls.. Whether its Carson, Donovan McNabb, A.J. Feeley, whoever.......This dude is Hilarious