COB

Tragically Marisa looks like the girl who handed me my Arby’s tonight. A thousand downvotes. Olivia Ray? Absolutely yes.

Not Browns related, but important nonetheless - the kid in the Arby’s drive thru tonight dissed me so hard I could barely manage to pay my fifteen bucks then eat my sodium infused cow. So if you’re on here, kid from the Arby’s on state route 79 in Heath, not everyone knows you guys discontinued the Loaded Italian Sub (2370 mg of sodium) like two years ago. In fact disappointing news like this should probably be broken gently to your understandably disheartened customers in a respectful manner. Your method, guffawing through “dude, we haven’t had that for like two years!” seemed overly condescending. And you and the snide 15 year old girl who laughingly handed me my order (roast turkey and Swiss turkey sandwich, Arby’s double roast beef sandwich, medium Sprite) probably think you bested a bumbling out of touch old man. But I guess you didn’t expect your bad customer service to be brutally outed on a football message board that is regularly read by up to 7 regular users. Checkmate motherfucker.

Highlight show talking heads and NFL cognoscenti are on our jocks with force. I guess Burrow putting on a downfield throwing display that belongs in the Smithsonian had an effect. The danger - our less experienced guys read their clippings. We’ve all seen it. Get told how great you are then promptly fall on face. Need serious leadership now.

Gonna be a big blowout sale on naked lady silhouette mud flaps at a Pilot truck stop near you.

I think he’ll get some looks for sure. Nothing against Lou (doing a great job for us), but if you hire a defensive coach as your HC in today’s nfl, you are stupid.

Wait, milquetoast corporate shill Mike Tirico just said he was texting with Ben this week, then he and Collinsworth talked about how great Ben was. Chris perked up.

Our supernova just showed out. I listened to the game (fishing, zeroed), loved hearing Lap and Hoard call a big win. He talked a lot about Adeniji stepping in and getting the job done. I’m looking forward to watching it tomorrow night. Watching the Sunday night game now, odd to hear such a subdued Collinsworth. I wonder where his normal exuberance went?

Beautiful nfl media contributors there. I love how sports now find the hottest woman on their staff and put them on the sideline. The irate coaches getting a microphone shoved in their faces at halftime suddenly become super nice and cooperative!

Like we don’t all already know that Gisele dumping Brady is completely related to The Andy Dalton Religious Sex Cult. She’s in it. Marvin’s in it. A bunch of gross megachurch tv preachers are in it. It is rumored that Aaron Rodgers newfound serenity is attributed to his involvement with The Andy Dalton Religious Sex Cult. But bad news - he’s been suspended from the cult for being “too weird.” That’s right, that mfer is too weird for Andy’s religious sex cult.

Holy shit poor Andy has thrown 3 picks in the first half of this Thursday night game. 2 of them were pick sixes. Man I feel bad for our former guy. Such a good dude.

I don’t even know you anymore.

Well you should. Then you get your toothpaste and mucinex delivered for free. Also various cleaning products. Then on Thursday nights you can listen to Al Michaels career as it lies a-moldering in the grave.

Scheme, injuries, suitable fill ins, all that stuff matters a ton, yes. And if the Bengals can start playing hard football at the beginning of the game instead of the 8 minute mark of the second quarter, we’ll start blowing teams out. This is a prime week to do it. Jump on this running team in the first quarter, put a couple tds up and make them throw. They come out with no urgency. They let a 10 or 20 point deficit supply the urgency. My solution - hire Zimmer in the newly created position of yelling coach. Once Zac has installed the offense and told Burrow how great he is about fifty times, Zimmer takes over for the last 45 minutes before the game starts. He screams insults at them, kicks trash cans in the locker rooms, sprays saliva all over the place, and just generally yells “fuck” a lot. It would actually work for this team. We’re a new age, feel good about ourselves team. Just need to realize they’re playing a violent blood sport. Watching any Julia Roberts movie will often send normal American men into a homicidal rage. So if Zimmer isn’t workable, Julia Roberts’ offensively bad, shallow, degrading acting will have to do it.

At this point, forget trying to keep track of all the victims, it’d be easier to make a list of the few Houston area women Watson somehow managed not to sexually proposition. Dude’s not a quitter, we can tell that much.

The Saints will be having fun and playing together. I’m not optimistic at all.

Just read Zac answering questions about his play calling. He said it’s not just me! Quote: “Taylor said offensive coordinator Brian Callahan, offensive line coach Frank Pollack, quarterbacks coach Dan Pitcher, receivers coach Troy Walters, and tight ends coach James Casey each have input as to what plays are called in-game. "We communicate every play," Taylor said. "We talk through it after every single series." Is Zac seriously saying all those guys are blabbing on the headset while deciding what plays to call? That doesn’t seem feasible. Too much input.

This team is consistently not ready to play. They are talented, and they adapt to what is happening, but it is clear they are not ready at the beginning of games.

Inexplicable call, close division game on the road and points are hard to come by. Just didn’t make sense.

How the hell are we tied in this game.

I’d be fine if Collinsworth just never calls another Bengals game.

Man watching Perine play in this offense just illustrates in bold print that Mixon has lost a ton of burst.

Fucking embarrassing.

Can we just have halftime right now?

How are we all feeling about this offense taking over on our 9? LOL.

Ravens showed up ready to play