COB

It is a sad day on this message board. Spike the hamster has shuffled off this mortal coil after an unfortunate encounter with our own Armybengal Kevorkian. We all had fond memories of Spike. Ok I’ll go first. He bought that lake house and even though he never invited me up I heard it was a lot of fun. He’d let you ride his jet ski , again I only heard about this, because he never invited me up. Spike ran for city council twice. He lost the first time, the second time they kicked him off the ballot for being a hamster. He never complained about that though. Armybengal’s cat, Sargent, was not friendly with Spike. Sargent met an untimely demise and we all kind of suspected Spike. But he was like, “Don’t look at me, I don’t run over stupid cats who go into the road out by the mailbox.” That kind of brought us back to reality. Thanks, Spike, we needed that. We all watched Spike get a little portly in his middle age, as hamsters do. Army was like, “why don’t you lose some weight you fat fuck?” And Spike was like, “I’m been stuck in a 14 inch by 18 inch aquarium my whole life. Like. Every. Moment. Of. My. Life. How am I supposed to lose weight?” Enter the hamster wheel. Army meant well. We hope. But a separated shoulder and getting half your face ripped off, well, the proof is in the pudding. The hammered down pudding with the pink stuff and some fur in it. Safe travels, Spike. You will be missed. Might be missed a little more if he’d have been a little more generous with that lake house. Like I heard that place had five bedrooms, plenty of room for guys if he’d have just invited more people up there.

I don’t need any of that bullshit. The depth of my nfl knowledge is legendary (in most Stuckey’s gift shops and in any Golden Corral, like ANY Golden Corral).

That is one smashed up car. Deer must have been full grown.

Michaels and Herbstreit act like it’s totally normal that Porter just grabs Hopkins and never let’s go.

Joey Porter Jr has a license to just hold DHop through his whole route.

During the play a bomb falls on the field, explodes, and 1000 naked Katherine Webb clones appear. Al Michaels: “Pickett under pressure there and it’s incomplete.”

I’ve got a whole thing with a clever sign for when I ask Derek Henry to the prom. My friend is going to film it.

Yay Derek Henry! He’s bullying the Steelers.

Will Levis makes great throw under intense pressure, Al Michaels doesn’t even notice.

Still in the first quarter. There have been 9 penalties already.

Watching this Steeler Titans game on Prime. Al Michaels sounds like he’s watching his neighbor pull their car into the garage. Dude’s just plain tuckered out.

Agreed. Hurst and Uzomah both made big plays and could be counted on. The current crop = drops and fumbles. Which is why they got Hudson on the roster. Smith shows promise but needs to develop. Drew Sample - on a one year deal that pays him one million. 23 tight ends in the league make an average of $5 million. He’s compensated fairly, a blocking tight end who’s ok. Pretty much any catches he makes are a bonus. We seriously need Irv Smith to develop and stay healthy.

I actually feel sorry for Mark Davis. Dude desperately wants to build a winning organization, but it feels like he’s a little out of his depth.

McDsniels ran off Jay Cutler in Denver because he’s so smart. Went to Oakland, did the exact same thing, ran Derek Carr out of there. In both cases, gets fired forthwith.

Burrow just named AFC offensive player of the week.

Cappa put Bosa flat on his back, saving us from a sack. Beautiful.

I hear that, TE help wanted! One other agonizing reality: Joe Buck and Troy Aikman mentioned how much the Lions miss their center Frank Ragnow. He’s injured but he’s an excellent player, been to a couple pro bowls, has been all pro, he’s just a high level lineman. We wanted him in the 2018 draft, we picked 20th. The Lions took him with the 19th pick, unfortunately. We picked up Billy Price with the next pick. Don’t think about it too long or you’ll start throwing stuff around your house.

Murphy looked good on his tackle yesterday. He ended up in coverage, held his water and just played contain. Made easy open field tackle after the catch for little gain. Not a highlight play but he had to do several things right to do it.

Volsen’s over at your mom’s right now, go ask him yourself.

What a huge win. Burrow’s incredible accuracy really contrasted with Purdy’s less than stellar day. Logan Wilson’s interception was sure timely, and the highlight of that play was Brandon Aiyuk’s absolute refusal to tackle Wilson even though he ran him down from behind. Once he got there he got his hands on Wilson’s shoulder pads and just decided to say fuck this I’m not breaking my leg trying to tackle this Sherman Tank. Pratt again demonstrates a remarkable nose for the ball. Dude is so underrated in this league, and signing him back was a huge surprise and a huge get for our front office. Romo sounds like he’s Lou Anarumo’s agent the way he beats the drum for him to get a HC job. Please STOP. Hard to pick a player of the game, so many guys played well. But unsung hero Joe Mixon has found another gear this season. Hats off to him, dude can dish it out.

Mixon punishing guys.

Tracy Wolfson looking good.

Touchdown Tyler Boyd!

Holy shit Joe Burrow are you serious?

Drew Sample, just go sell insurance somewhere you fucking hack.