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COB

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Everything posted by COB

  1. Matt Canada living under the bus at this point. He’s the gift that keeps on giving for Teflon Tomlin. I watched the Steelers vs Browns and Steelers major change was Tomlin’s aviators were not mirror lenses. His mean mugging game is still 10/10. Throwing some hard looks around out there.
  2. Ok I’ve recovered. That was pretty quick for me to bounce back not just from a division loss, but from a sort of Chernobyl like meltdown of the season. I think the fact that we were wobbly from the word go (1-3 start), and then that ass kicking from the Texans, helped. My expectations were tempered, to say the least. It’s almost better this way. We don’t have to go through like a 6 week slow motion car crash. We just went ahead and got it over with.
  3. I truly hate the Steelers. If we lose the rest of our games, except we sweep the Steelers - that would be a win, a way to make the best out of a bad situation. True story - I play the powerball lottery and if I ever win I’ll use my billion dollars to implement my written plan (yes, it is a manifesto) wherein I obtain a large island, on that island I breed genetically enhanced wolves (think Dire Wolf on ‘roids), trainers teach them to attack, and veterinarians infect them with a virus referred to in my manifesto as “the insane attack and bite force to the tenth power” virus. Then when the criminal organization known as the Steelers least expect it, about ten thousand genetically enhanced dire wolves just stroll into town. Of course the Steeler fans are all idiots to begin with. They just look around, going, “man, I don’t remember all these giant wolves being here before. /drools dip spit onto stained wifebeater adorned with a number 7 fashioned out of black electric tape/“. My wolves all get triggered as soon as they hear Renegade by Styx. My decorum and good taste prevent me from describing the ensuing carnage, but rest assured that if it is technically possible, I’ll live-stream it here on Bengalszone with an added benefit that, along with the natural pure joy we’ll all experience watching giant wolves dismember Steeler fans, our memories will be permanently modified and all memories of the 2005 wild card game will be erased, as will any memory whatsoever that includes Hines Ward. It’ll be like he never existed. Just talking about it is getting me totally pumped! Off to the Duke and Duchess to buy a powerball ticket!
  4. Being a bengals fan is not for the faint of heart.
  5. Surgery. The only variable left in regards to next year is what the specific ailment will be that robs Burrow of the whole preseason and hampers his first few week. In order of probability: 1. Bad hamstring pull 2. Diverticulitis 3. Broken ankle 4. Worst case of pinkeye anyone has ever seen 5. Torn external oblique muscle, made worse by team doctor misdiagnosing it as a torn internal oblique 6. Pneumonia, made worse by team doctor misdiagnosing it as a tooth ache
  6. COB

    RIP Spike

    I like Nick “free agent” Scott.
  7. I don’t think they’ve said anything about his wrist other than Zac saying he believes it to be a sprain. We can still sweep the Steelers, that’s the only thing that can redeem this season in some way.
  8. Depression sets in.
  9. Last TD - lucky deflection catch. This TD - only possible after phantom PI call. Is this the ‘90s?
  10. Bad officiating. Bad tackling. Bad health.
  11. More injuries. WTF.
  12. Great movie as, horror movie called Thanksgiving, the slasher is a spooky pilgrim. Love it.
  13. Cheaping out on our backup QB gets us about every other year.
  14. Shut the fuck up Herbstreit.
  15. Sprung him with the hold. Quit boooing, idiots.
  16. Didn’t look like he did anything, just the throwing motion hurt his wrist. He was photographed this week with a wrist brace on.
  17. What a great drive. Actually ran the ball.
  18. Joe Mixon is the PUNISHER.
  19. Yay Tyler Boyd!
  20. These aggressive linebackers will overrun our RB. Run the ball!
  21. Holy shit, CTB what a play!
  22. Volson torched, sack.
  23. We have completely abandoned the run.
  24. Hendrickson got tripped, call that shit.
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