Stripes

On some level I just like to watch these players earn the highlights of their lives playing in their only NFL games.

Five times. Five times with this Brooks Brothers commercial. 48 moronic campaign smear ads. How can anyone stand television anymore?

Myers looks good.

Coker is bad.

Someone whiffed hard in the hole on that big run. Couldn’t see who.

Nice spin move Howell

TD Endries. Great showing for the rookies.

Buttered football

Hell yeah Colbie

Woo. Backups, please.

I think there’s value in diversifying the offense. I think it has droughts because it’s predictable. But if they suck at it, they won’t keep doing it. Probably for the best.

Murphy seems disruptive.

Most of the drive under center. Sacked by backups. Bleh.

Don’t care for the defense needing to rescue itself with a pick against backups. But whatever. It’s a stop.

Obligatory “no injuries please” preseason post

I don't think the preseason reps made a difference last season, 2-0 start aside. The offense still played like shit in Week 1. I think Zac Taylor just gets outcoached every time the opponent has numerous months to gameplan for his offense. This time, Todd Bowles might be even worse, so that'd be nice. Burrow can't come out and lay an egg though, he's definitely been part of the issue too. 4 INTs against Pittsburgh a few years ago in a loss that prevented a 1-seed loom large.

I think the Bengals might have had a first round pick after all. Cashius Howell might be a monster.

I expect excellent pass rush from the interior, yes. Lawrence, Allen, and Hill should all be above average in that regard. Training camp hype is portraying Lawrence as Godzilla too, so hopefully that isn't just the usual empty commentary.

What's to worry about? The Super Bowl is only at SoFi and the Rams are huge favorites. It's not like the Bengals have ever lost a bowl to the same team twice or anything.

Seems like a reasonably optimal start to camp so far. The defense is making a ton of plays, which means nothing compared to a game, but it carries forward the positive energy. Moreover, Burrow keeps throwing picks (or having them dropped), which ought to light a fire under his ass too.

Woof. Go figure, we expected a bust on the field, but you can’t do that if you never play on the field.

Liz seems to come in two forms, to my eye: 1. She has the same ruthless business brain that her mother and grandfather have leaned on since Paul Brown died. For example, one of the overhauls to the "fan experience" in recent memory was to fire nearly the entire sound staff that had been in place for decades to bring in a new team of professionals. I knew a family directly impacted that swore off the team for it. I also think it worked, because the fan experience has improved. 2. She is much more attentive to the national narratives and the fanbase, because she is a millennial with a basic understanding of social media. Through her influence, the team is much more competent in communicating with fans (e.g., on Twitter). I think this might also influence her to push Bengals-unorthodox decisions within the front office, because she is exposing herself to arguments that her forebears would never hear.

No worries. I think the six of us will manage.

Ring of Honor inductees: Bob Trumpy and James Brooks

The Odyssey is a work of fiction and mythology, so historical accuracy is silly anyway.