Stripes

Every Bengals-related podcast or TV program is unbearable right now. So and so ranked Joe Burrow 4th instead of 3rd, and they didn't have Dexter Lawrence in their top whatever. Who fucking cares? Get us to training camp already, JFC.

I can't blame the robot for skipping that one. It's probably the most difficult choice. Peak performance relative to peers? Curtis, Johnson, and Chase all have an argument. Longevity? Curtis and Johnson so far Best performance relative to the quality of his own team? Pickens Best performance against division opponents? Green and Chase Best for getting into the endzone? Curtis, Pickens, Chase, and Higgins Best for catching the damn ball? Collinsworth, Houshmandzadeh, and Boyd I think the best player is probably just Chase, but we can still make him earn it. The two best otherwise for my money are already in the Ring of Honor.

Works for me, though I'd swap Riley with Parrish.

Dov Kleiman is a well-known bullshitter and should be ignored by everyone.

I really hope Al Golden follows the Anarumo path and proves himself competent. I am a bit worried he’s going to be more of a Chuck Bresnehan.

From where I stand, the four biggest weaknesses (or question marks) on the roster are pretty clear-cut: Linebacker, slot corner, edge rusher, and defensive coordinator Otherwise, I think everything should be average or better. Edge rusher could end up better, but I need to see it.

I think Joe’s trying to light the fire under his teammates’ and coaches’ asses. Taking two days off certainly isn’t consistent with that message though. Do you want it or not, Zac?

Tampa Bay should get about 1.5 points from Vegas for that.

I am still hopeful they'll do something with that money beyond the most mundane, ordinary crap. The assumption that they're only concerned with in-season expenses and roll-over cap is reliant upon them being the same franchise that would never trade #10 for Dexter Lawrence or restructure the QB in the first place. You're either all in or you're not, Bengals. You can't do an Andrew Cuomo and try to weasel around both sides of every move.

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/49012436/sources-bengals-restructure-burrow-deal-free-cap-space Joe Burrow’s contract restructured to free up $10M in space. Who is this team?

Peace and quiet.

Maybe I wasn’t referring to food

A forum full of aging men pining after roast beef. Football.

Let’s face it. We’ve been Arbyszone for ten years.

That would be lovely. Here’s hoping you’re Allentownstrodamus.

Slander. I would never 1) go to southern Indiana, 2) be in the company of numerous 70+ year old people, or 3) sing anything their demographic would sing

I don’t know why we do those. The joint practice with the Rams immediately after the Super Bowl has to be one of Taylor’s dumbest moves.

Myles Garrett was just traded to the Rams for Jared Verse and draft capital. Thanks, Cleveland.

I’m at the Tom Grossi event in Phoenix. He’s a good dude. The fame hasn’t consumed his soul quite yet. He’ll be in Cincinnati on 15 June.

Fulcher and Atkins for me. I’d also accept Whitworth.

91 isn’t here having his annual five-month cry about his contract. Can you hear that? Nothing.

Obligatory: W TB L @HOU W @PIT L JAX W @MIA BYE L @BAL W TEN W @ATL INT W PIT SNF L @WAS MNF W NO L @CLE W KC Late W @CAR W @IND W BAL TNF W CLE 12-5. I guess. I'm sure this will end well.

Thoughts: I find that early slate (i.e., first four games) to be pretty brutal. They better not piss around to open the season. After that, apart from the division games and KC, it's more manageable. I hate the placement of the bye week considering the international game.

The Carson Palmer Cornhole Classic is a time-honored tradition among cornhole enthusiasts. I know I look forward to sliding my sacks down the wood toward that cornhole.