Stripes

Cameras caught Zac in full bug eyes on that sideline catch

Touch kick in Pittsburgh. I’ll take 10-0

Trey takes back the sack lead

Chase ties Pickens for TDs

Truly sad if Cleveland lets Baltimore cover a 20 point spread.

Why assert yourself as a candidate to take over for Tee Higgins when you can be a First Edition Chris Henry instead? Someone call Adam Jones up and ask him to talk to this guy. He has both personal experience with being the league's face of Being A Jackass and a great deal of personal investment in the Chris Henry story (via his kids).

Denver is a cool town, and it's great access to the Rocky Mountains.

Pro Bowlers decided. "Woo." Game is a joke, but it impacts eventual HOF candidacy. Bengals included: Joe Burrow Ja'Marr Chase Trey Hendrickson No surprises, but I thought Joe might get snubbed for Pat.

Willie might be screwed in that field.

Already have my 0-2 stamp ready to slam into the predictions thread for whoever the first two opponents are.

One of these days I want to see a draft lottery system. I don't even want it like the NBA with weighted probabilities. Every non-playoff team has an equal probability of being the #1 overall. Nobody is rewarded for being horrible. Nobody is punished for playing to win.

Current Vegas spreads in games we care about: CIN favored over PIT by 1.5 MIA favored over NYJ by 1 DEN favored over KC by 9.5

Odds are not in the Bengals' favor, but they're also not some impossible never-happening pipe dream. Three things need to happen, and none of them are that unreasonable. Carson Wentz can beat the Broncos.

Homeless Man Drafts Johnny Manziel and Baker Mayfield Cheesecake Factory Special are hard to top.

"Wanted: Homeless man to fill the role of collegiate quarterback scout. Office space available on exhaust grates. Bicycle skills required for frequent trips to the Akron Zips football stadium."

If they have Bailey Zappe then he should have been in the game a while ago. He has proven much more than DTR. Granted, they don't really want to win.

DTR's body language is yikes. It looks like he's about to cry.

Doesn't matter, DTR can't do anything. Gonna be relying on the Jets next week.

Refs are clueless as ever in this Miami/Cleveland game.

I hate Cleveland starting DTR instead of Winston.

I think the Colts losing might have been the hardest pin to knock down. This is huge. Come on, Cleveland. Do your Ohio brothers a solid.

Flacco INT. My nipples no longer quiver. They stand fully erect. They are stilettos.

42-33 Giants with 2:57 to play. Cannot fucking believe they dropped a 40 burger. FINISH!!!

Giants return opening 2nd half kickoff for a TD! WOOOO

21-13 at the half. The Giants are definitely capable of blowing that, so I will just clench my cheeks and hope.