Stripes

Stroud is at his best on in-breakers. Too easy right now. Find an adjustment in your goofy-ass fanny pack, Golden.

CHASE

“Dexter Lawrence won’t make a meaningful difference.” - various intelligent humans on my screens

DEXTER FUCKEN LAWRENCE

LBs are gonna piss us off all year

Genuinely the most penalties I can remember in a half. For all his faults, Zac Taylor teams are usually among league leaders in avoiding flags.

I’d be perfectly okay with a 6-3 win if that’s the ballgame

WHEW!

The usual suspects still cannot tackle.

Barrett Carter is still terrible

Stop. Getting. Flagged.

Texans DEs demonstrating why they’re elite.

Nice start D

Can’t help but be terrified of Hunter and Anderson even with our huge tackles. Protect the franchise.

Go team.

I think he's just "probable" even though that's not a designation anymore. The Bengals have numerous advantages in this game that they didn't necessarily have at the start of the week. The schedule is still tough for a few weeks, so they need to capitalize while they can. Get out of the first four games 3-1 or better, and you have a red carpet rolled out for a high playoff seed.

Houston’s WR group was already rough with Collins, because Jayden Higgins is on IR. That leaves a familiar face to catch the ball. Mitchell Tinsley.

Damn. Major bummer for Houston. Quietly a top ten receiver in the league.

He said he’s fine in his presser.

Burrow was limited today due to a shoulder thing. I won’t do a Twitter freakout until I have a reason. Still, Joe lowering his shoulder into a linebacker was very stupid. He can’t be doing that shit.

For pretty much everyone picking games before the season, this was the most obvious L on the board. So a win would be huge -- especially if you have one seed dreams sparkling in your brain.

The defense played like an… average unit. Which is kind of the whole ballgame for this team. They allowed 282 total yards (solid), 6.0 yards per pass attempt (solid), and 4.5 yards per carry (iffy). The four offsides were bad. The four fumbles were awesome, but we know that isn’t sustainable. Perhaps the best news is that they really mitigated big plays. TB had to maintain long, slow drives, and eventually they fucked them up.

1-0 any way it comes baybeeeee

Al Golden still sucks

Zac as a playcaller is stale American cheese