COB

Please make it stop. First round tackle, gone for the season. What the fuck.

“There can be only one!” /Sets Rascal Freedom Power Wheelchair ($1,498.20 at Sam’s Club) to medium speed, raises CPAP device threateningly above head, advances at a moderate pace down hallway of Indian Hills McMansion/

I'll start. "When's Katie going to get me the scouting report on that gigantic rugby player?"

“I’m immortal. I’ll live forever. There’s no other reasonable explanation for this. I’m a Highlander!” Adjusts speed control on Rascal Freedom Power Wheelchair ($1,498.20 at Sam’s Club), drives to kitchen to get some warm milk.

Awakens, gets out of bed, looks in the mirror. ”Jesus fucking christ. I’m still here. Am I immortal?”

Among the many reasons I want Zac Taylor to succeed is I want his success to de-validate Marvin’s style and methods. All the ‘not my job to motivate players, halftime adjustments are a myth, why’d we lose games? Because the other team scored more points,’ all that fucking bullshit he spewed for years. I want it all exposed for what it was, the musings of a disinterested, burned out, inflexible old timer who refused to learn or to change. It’s a ***damn national tragedy that Billy didn’t live long enough to see Marvin and his whole regime get shown the door.

No need to bet the farm. Taylor is unproven for sure. But after 3 straight losing seasons with an uninspiring, tired, blase’, Marvin at the helm, I share the optimism the players are showing. And I can read between the lines of their repeated “things are so different now” themed statements. They consistently say it’s different, there is energy now, accountability, competition. The negative implication is that those things were missing under Marvin. I’m happy to jump on the Taylor hype bus. Listening to the players throw Marvin under that bus? Sweet payback for the years of snarky, snide, disses Marvin served up to the press and the fans.

Mixon and Ross are blabbing about how good the energy is, how positive and different things are, and how confident the whole team is that they’ll outshine expectations. Glad Arizona State brought Marvin in so they don’t suffer from enthusiasm and confidence.

“I’ll just type-message TJ’s granny on my tv phone thing. There, just asked her to cam him down. Well, she answered with a photo, I’ll just open that up... GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!” Begins laborious process of unbuckling complex series of trusses.

“Great googly moogly, I’m just on this tv phone trying to buy sock garters, and I’m assaulted by suggestions of unnatural, deviant, behavior. Well, I’ll just do a google thing for refurbished trusses, that should turn out a bit better.”

As part of his ongoing quest to get paid for working in football without actually working, Marvin somehow blackmailed Herm Edwards into signing him to his staff at Arizona State. But he cant have contact with the players. He won’t be coaching. He’ll be a “sounding board” for the staff and will be sort of an unofficial spokesman. In other words, he’ll fill the same role he filled in Cincinnati. He’ll be a smug douche who chortles at the uninformed questions of non-insiders, and that’s all he’ll fucking be. As time passes it becomes more and more apparent that Marvin just plain didn’t work very hard these last 6 or 7 years. And he sure as hell doesn’t want to start now.

Juiced out of his mind, can hold well after the whistle.

Marvin put his mansion in Indian Hill on the market. 2.8 million asking price. Goodbye Marvin, enjoy Arizona.

McCoy is getting looks all over the league. The Bengals, as usual, will likely be just leverage.

On the bright side, it shows that he cares. If Marvin were still around he wouldn’t be worrying about getting better.

Hart’s cleaning out my gutters right now.

Glad we hung onto next year’s 5th or 6th round pick. We could get a depth guy who may be able to play teams. Darron Lee? Just a starting linebacker who’s better than everyone we have now? Not for a valuable 6th rounder!

2019 LB rank/ @PFF 36. Darron Lee (Traded Jets to KC 6th round) 111. Nick Vigil 136. Preston Brown 145 Jordan Evans 158 Vontaze Burfict 160 Hardy Nickerson

https://twitter.com/lancemcalister/status/1129048417051844609?s=21

Where’s the outrage? I practically started a riot at work when I read this, so I’m doing my part.

Sorry TJ, the Chiefs got Darron Lee from the Jets. All it cost them was a 6th rounder. Mike spent the morning putting some new tabs in his 2019 Franklin Planner (Deluxe Edition). He also had a nice talk with the young fellow who mows his grass, the youngster’s grandfather also had a hip replaced so there was a lot to talk about.

One of the guys the Bills are keeping at TE instead of Jake is Tyler Kroft.

Need a free agent tackle? Jake Fisher just got cut by the Bills. Alexander’s masterpiece, the draft of 2015, just keeps on giving.

The Indians can’t hit. It’s a historic level of run production, not in a good way, either. Just from last year they list Michael Brantley, Edwin Encarnacion, and Yan Gomes. That’s a ton of good hitting, replaced by guys who are nowhere close to that level. The Indians owner has also already dropped obvious hints that he won’t pay our great young shortstop. Went so far as to say, “enjoy him while you can.” He’s wrecking the Indians. I’ll be heading to Cinci at least twice this year to watch the Reds, at this point I’d rather see them in person.

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/a-j-green-unsure-of-his-future-with-the-cincinnati-bengals/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app More of AJ Green damning Marvin with faint praise. Gosh AJ, it sure is different to have a coach who’s smart and detailed. Marvin was great though!! “It's different to have your head coach be in the office and meeting room going through every play, every detail to every guy, telling you why you need to run this way or what this concept is, it's just a little different, but it's fun and it's awesome because he's so smart and so detailed."