COB

I'll start. "When's Katie going to get me the scouting report on that gigantic rugby player?"

“I want the hand measurements and high school track accomplishments of every prospect broken down for me, and I want it in a 3 ring binder, preferably a Franklin. Also, as I said earlier, the Rudolph kid, he looks pretty lantern-jawed, let’s take him.”

If they take a receiver in the first round I will start a dog riot. That's a riot in which the participants are mainly dogs. It's one of the worst public disturbances you or your dog could participate in. Receiver. Really.

My yearly tribe update for you long-suffering Reds fans - The Indians have won 8 of their last 11 to jump to a modest lead in the AL Central. Their staff is straight up money. They have the 2nd worst team batting average in the A.L. If their bats can get going, and Francona seems to think they can, they can make the playoffs again. Amazing to be in this role as a tribe fan. Where the reds are now, that was home for the Indians for over 40 years. It was brutal. Year after year.

"Mommy's gone for the afternoon, eh? I wonder what TJ's granny is up to these days, heh heh." (Pulls bag phone out from under bed, takes 10 minutes to identify numbers on the buttons, begins to dial)

"Fagnow? Can that be right? Damn this new hip. Someone get me the phone!"

Fagnow stomps on the terra. He's a Tyronasaurus Rex. Must draft.

If you hurry up and click on cincy jungle link below you can read about the highest rated FBS lineman in this year's draft, and, obviously, the highest rated center, Frank Ragnow. You can also clearly see that Cincy Jungle, halfway through the writeup, refers to him as, "fagnow." Probably a typo, not that I find something like that funny. https://www.cincyjungle.com/2018/4/18/17252022/nfl-draft-2018-bengals-hosting-arkansas-center-frank-ragnow-visit

I look at the performance of Cedric and Fisher through and Alexander prism. An Alexander prism is a lens that turns everything you view through it into a Pacific Garbage Patch, a pile of faded plastic that floats around and clogs everything. Because that's how that fuckwad coached. Those centers, Trampled-check and Bodine, were his masterpieces. Kind of like Beethoven's 3rd and his 5th symphonies. There is a distinct possibility that either or both Ced and Fisher could end up significantly better than they are right now. So I say go center with that first pick at 21. They're hosting Ragnow from Arkansas today, maybe they're thinking about him.

Need speed receiver to make up for the Ross miss last year. Heh.

"Who's working on the Fresca contract? Pete, is that your deal? Get a good price on that. The wives like to drink that Fresca."

All these stories you see that are headlined something like, “The Greatest Need for Each of the 32 NFL Teams,” or “Most Likely First Round Pick For NFL Teams,” I don’t even read those stories this year. The brain trust let our o-line deteriorate into such a state of disrepair that there is no debate what we need. It’s more obvious than probably any other team in the league.

"Is that a dog. How'd a dog get in here? What is that? A dog?"

They'll probably put a uniform on them and run them out there, more in homage to their draft spot than anything else.

"Eh.... gurrghhh... fabagasha fump...."

Did we have the draft yet? Did we get the Butkus kid from Illinois I’ve had my eye on?

"Sunday? Is it Sunday?"

Dave Shula's really at Dartmouth? That's where both Mike and Katie went to school. It is very possible the Brown's helped him get that job. Undying loyalty. That's like The White Star Line giving the captain of the Titanic a great reference because he was such a team player.

“Gosh, I miss Paul. I need a piano lesson. Katie! Did you find me a new piano teacher?”

The nfl shouldn’t have moved the draft to later in the spring. Takes forever to get here, the old schedule was better. Shake fist at cosmos.

He should at least be forced to downgrade his name and avatar to the Shula hamburger places now showing up in regional airports.

Mike couldn’t make the owners’ meetings this last week because he had a hip replaced. Katie went. Nothing against Mike, he actually had some correct ideas about the league that, though scorned at the time, turned out to be prophetic. But it is time for him to step completely away from operations. This is just stupid. He’s going through the travails of very advanced age, AND he’s supposed to somehow keep running this complex, ever-changing, business? I’m convinced we have Marvin again because the prospect of the coach search and interview process was just a bit too daunting for Mike. It’s over dude.

Please no to selecting Orlando Brown. He didn’t train a bit once the season was over. No determination or drive.

I’d be so happy if Reggie Nelson returned. Hard to envision it, though.

I have no idea if Mike will even be involved. At this point he should be most concerned with whether today is pudding cup or jello day. But if he is involved, you know how he loves to hire from in the organization. Jim Hazlett is on this staff. And he was head coach of the mighty ORLANDO TUSKERS! Hire him now.