Stripes

If Ross continues to suck, then dump his ass. I don't care when he was picked.

I am put off by Marvin's mysterious presence.

I've seen too many Marvin Lewis playoff games to believe the first one was going to end differently even with Palmer. The defense took a glorious shit in the second half of that game as much as the offense did.

I agree that Ross is a lock, but I'm not sure he should be.

Well here we go. Are our butt cheeks clenched? It's going to be rough. Hopefully the offense impresses at least.

Brandt's methodology is pretty worthless. Based on his arbitrary rankings, inverse points are awarded and summed. Okay, I guess.

The line will absolutely be better. There's no way you add Pollack, Glenn, and Price without seeing improvement. I expect that it won't even be a glaring weakness -- just perhaps a bit inconsistent. They've really had a strong offseason, and the only thing that gets in my way when I try to experience any excitement is Marvin Lewis.

I'm okay with the huge number of players, because in the late rounds I really think this stuff is 95% crapshoot. You might as well bring aboard a bunch of them to maximize the probability that someone will impress.

Not thrilled with a running back though. Pointless luxury pick unless that kid is somehow better than Bernard.

Mike Brown just read this post and threw his dentures across the room. He thought he had you this year.

Things just haven't been the same at safety since we lost the great Ifeanyi Ohalete.

I'm good with boring. John Ross was a sexy pick and he might as well have a blinking neon sign plastered to his forehead that says "BUST".

Well damn, they grabbed a center anyway. How about that. Can't help but worry that it's a reach, but I don't give a shit. I'll take a center and be happy about it.

Hahaha fucking Lions. Oh well I doubt the Bengals would have taken him anyway.

That brings back old memories. Good find, TJ.

This reminds me of the time the Pittsburgh Post Gazette (I think? Or some online Pittsburgh publication) posted an article naming Bengalszone members among others who celebrated injuries to Ben Roethelisberger. Good times.

3-18 I didn't think it would be THIS bad. Good lord.

I don't give a third of a shit about the protests, and I think that's a terrible reason to decline a free agent. I also don't think Reid is a very good player, so oh well.

Wait for Paul Alexander to open a restaurant.

We've been here before. The team is having an optimistic offseason (in their eyes even Marvin staying is optimistic), the rest of the division is due to regress apart from Cleveland (a progression from whom isn't saying much of anything), and a decently talented core remains in place. They'll win more games than they should. Perhaps they'll even grab a wild card spot or fall into the division championship, lose to absolutely whoever in the first round, and enter another offseason feeling better than they should about the step forward.

"McCarron's wife sure was a looker. What I wouldn't give to invite her over for a wholesome dinner and then see her out at 7 PM sharp..."

"Who threw this bar of soap in the garbage? It's still bigger than a quarter!"

Yeah I haven't seen it either. I'd be very much in favor of such a thing.

This is not what AJ McCarron had in mind.

I don't know guys. His wife is pretty cute.