COB

The tribe would have won that game 7 if that stupid rain delay hadn’t occurred. Our setup guy, Bryan Shaw, was on the mound in extra innings and I knew he’d get it done. Then 20 minute rain delay, Shaw was pretty old and I knew there was no way that once he was warmed up, he’d be able to handle that delay. Sure enough he gave up the game-winning run, leaving me personally traumatized, bitter, and ultimately, truly, without hope.

Mike reads this and says, “Hold my 1945 Domaine de la Romanée-Conti Pinot Noir”

Sorry Army, no defensive ends yet. But living a virtuous life, characterized by wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance, is the next best thing to getting a good free agent tight end.

Zac’s like let’s enjoy our participation trophy, Burrow’s like dude I play for real, gtfo.

Read a report about Ramsey - long time dolphins beat reporter said Ramsey was a fuckhead who undermined the coaches and was basically a classic locker room malcontent. So the Steelers bring in Rodgers and this dude? Tomlin must be desperate.

Music Band t-shirt is the coup de grace.

Very dope. Very fresh. It almost defies reason that there is someone in the bengals’ org that thinks using the word phat would be current or relevant. It gives the impression that the team is run by a bunch of old people who don’t know anything about modern culture. And instead of hiring someone who does, or just being genuine about who you are, (example: the locker room phrase would read “Amortize, Itemize, Write-Off”, they just put no effort into it. They mean well, otherwise it would be patronizing.

Steelers trading Minkah. I’m so glad to not see this dude in a Steeler uniform anymore. He’s a very good player and it’s not a move that is improving the Steelers.

Also good for showing your mom’s new boyfriend (Rick left after being cut down to size) who the man of the house is.

Stadium decision is nigh. The bengals don’t have enough staff. From what I can tell, the same people are trying to negotiate a giant agreement with the county while at the same time maneuvering to get Trey to accept a raise/extension and get our first rounder signed. It’s no wonder the common complaint is “we just don’t hear from the bengals.” They need more competent people.

Giant dollar sign hat must be worn to his court appearance. Let the judge know who he’s dealing with.

I hope Trey signs soon. Then we get the rookie signed and Al Golden at least has a chance to 1. Have his best defender in camp and 2. Develop his first rounder, a pick he undoubtedly influenced. If the FO dithers around with these dudes and doesn’t get them in here until week one, ala Chase last year, it’s not just screwing the players and the fans, it is royally screwing Al Golden.

That about sums it up. I think it’s a point of pride with Mike that he just doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. It’s ironic that I’m a bengal fan and a tribe fan. The tribe has José Ramirez, insanely good player, one other great player, then a bunch of guys. The owner doesn’t care. Just getting paid. Made the ALCS last year and responded by trading away the team leader, the heart of the team, Josh Naylor (only one year left in cheap deal then he’s getting big money) and their all star second baseman (also due to get paid). Now the Reds are better than us. The one difference - Mike is a Highlander who sees the team as his legacy and I believe has instilled a “never sell” ethos in his heirs. We’re stuck with the Brown family. The Dolans, who own the Guardians, have agreed to sell controlling interest in 2028 to some rich guy named David Blitzer who owns the 76ers and the New Jersey Devils. Supposedly he’ll spend like a real owner, we’ll see. At least there is hope.

I find it hard to believe the Bengals are only offering one year. But, if they are, it’s essentially an effort to kill the negotiations. Pretty much telling him play on your deal this year plus whatever PR driven raise we give you, then gtfo.

It’s a long-accepted fact that Mike is immortal. But in what form? Highlander? Vampire? Demon?

20 years ago? I had a five year old and a two year old. I’m pretty sure it was 2005 when I discovered this message board. Discovered message boards at all, really. I promptly posted some Pulitzer level ravings about Marvin. Man, that dude wore out his welcome. it was great to have found this board and I’ve really enjoyed it all these years. I hope Mike Brown falls over dead tomorrow.

I hope Hendrickson and his wife can have a baby now. Couldn’t have a baby with only like 60 million smackers in the bank.

I’m curious to hear what our new DC and o-line coaches do at training camp. There is serious pressure on these guys. Neither position group got seriously upgraded player wise. We did draft an edge and a LB, but, obviously, rookies. O-line strategy? You tell me. The bengals are putting a ton of stock in the theory that the coaches needed improved, and these guys better produce.

Paul Dehner just wrote a brutal takedown of our FO and their never-ending bickering with players. I don’t consider Paul Dehner a troll. He writes for the Enquirer and the Athletic. He falls more in the category of respected sports writer. No one is being trolled or led astray here. Reality is what it is.

Ok I read it, and we’re fucked.

Brandon Scherff is still out there, still available. We need veteran guard help. Time to make some type of commitment, get better on that o-line.

I hope Aaron was able to work through all his personal issues that held him back from signing. If he turns on Tomlin (50/50 chance), it’ll turn into a dumpster fire. Most of the Steeler fans I know are ready for Tomlin to go already. Rogers doing his passive aggressive coach killing act will be like throwing a match into a gas can.

This reveals a diabolical pattern of thinking. On your part, not Harambe’s.

This is an outrage. Harambe represents all that is good in this world. Dude was born into captivity, accepts that like a champ. One day he’s just chilling out in the gorilla habitat, and some dumb shit kid who can’t behave himself falls in. Hey Harambe, thanks for your service all these years. Here’s a bullet in the head.

9 years ago today Harambe was assassinated at the Cincinnati Zoo. The Bengals need to honor Harambe by including him in the Ring of Honor. I would also fully be on board with a team name and logo change. The Cincinnati Harambe. (Yes, singular). Obviously the logo is a huge badass silverback gorilla. I know too much marketing, etc has gone into building the bengals brand to consider a change, and the nfl is loathe to make any changes to their money machine. But if we were in a parallel universe where Mike could look beyond the beads on his abacus and the dollar signs they represent, this move would be a huge public relations coup. We’d basically get constant media coverage for about a year. Uniform change - National story. Stadium changes - National story. Logo contest - National story. Positive feedback from animal rights groups - National story. This seems far fetched but I would support it. These NFL team names are played out and stale. The bears and lions? Who gives a fuck.