COB

Like Whataburger? I worship Whataburger. If you can, check out their Dr. Pepper milkshake. It randomly appears on their menu for a few months, disappears for a year, then shows up again. It’s basically the crack of fast food. And fast food is the crack of food. So it’s food crack to the 2nd power. Good luck once you try a Dr Pepper milkshake. It takes over a significant portion of your brain and thereafter you function at about 70% of what you were before. But even though your cognitive abilities are compromised, and you’ll legally qualify as mentally disabled, it’s still pretty much worth it.

In a place like Madrid, where the universe is askew, has been tilted on its axis by virtue of no Arby’s anywhere even close, can Joe burrow even be expected to win a football game? We’re sending our boy over to bizarro world and expecting him to just sling it? This is a direct message to Arby’s: Attention Arby’s Overlords who control 17% of all American life, restore order to the universe, immediately build ten Arby’s in Madrid so the Bengals have a fighting chance against the Falcons.

I looked it up and the Madrid area has zero Arby’s. In a cruel plot twist, there are 200 Burger King locations in Madrid.

Possible Whataburger location though, looking into it.

Seriously considering going to Madrid for that game.

“Bengals president Mike Brown is..” 1. “on life support, and a retired army medic who works for the VA has been seen lurking around the plug.” 2. “confirmed to be the father of both Diana Russini’s children.” 3. “suing the Cleveland Clinic after he discovered he is the unwitting subject of a million dollar clandestine medical study entitled: ‘Holy Shit, Did You See These Fucking Liver Spots?’”

At least they brought in a depth guy who has a couple years in the league, has been through a season. It is startling, the way the bengals drafted two linebackers and just stubbornly started them as rookies. Two rookies, side by side, starting a whole nfl season. As the kids would say, make it make sense.

I assume Bozeman will be depth and a probable special teams guy.

Important update, I wore a flannel shirt to the dentist this morning. It’s a shirt I usually only wear in the winter, but it was chilly up here in central Ohio so decided to get a little crazy.

He actually seems good, that’s the amazing thing. You expect him to be a, a, I don’t t know how to put it.

I need talls as well, and Eddie Bauer used to make about everything in talls. But they changed owners and the new guys don’t know how to do anything so they’re tanking. JC Penny, here I come!

I can’t wear sweats. But I’ve found myself falling into a pattern. If I buy a pair of pants I like that actually fit, I buy another. End result - right now I have two pairs of pants, but 2 or 3 editions of each. So every day it’s the grey canvas pants I got online, or the tan canvas pants I got at a store called Vance’s. And hooded sweatshirts are a gift from god.

Great Derby, by the way. Really enjoyed it. The Burrow pink suit came down the backstretch in last and stayed in last.

I honestly think I could eat infinite potato cakes.

I’m there. off topic, but in the public interest: if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the Whataburger in DFW when my plane lands in about an hour, best practice would be to just get out of my way.