Stripes

Cody Ford. 20 yard. Reception.

BEST acronym has been mentioned on the broadcast. Now we’re cooking.

Murphy. Hm.

That’s the Zack Carter I remember.

Zack Carter is still in the league?

We’re winning. I’m bored.

Click those three dots and confirm those pro-Bengals accounts aren't based in Nigeria or Russia.

As of May 2025, Taylor was ranked 18th in the league in annual head coach salary. Not to defend the front office. Fuck 'em. I just tend to focus my ire on the areas they really fail to spend (primarily scouting).

I’m counting on ARI running back Michael Carter to shred the Bengals tomorrow to win my fantasy championship. They’d better not pick this week to be competent.

Looks like Ja'Marr Chase is our only Pro-Bowler. "Woo" Nobody is watching that event, but it will still help his eventual Hall of Fame case.

If it’s any comfort, Anarumo can’t seem to stop TEs in Indy either.

I don’t want Baltimore winning three divisions in a row.

Bad players have to make plays in meaningless games to ensure they’re still on the field to fail in meaningful games.

Flacco time.

I have Brown in the fantasy playoffs, so I appreciate this quarter.

Oh, great. A lucky bounce to convince them Barrett Carter isn’t horrible.

I think we all know they’re going to finish 7-10, so we might as well enjoy the meaningless statistical fluff.

Designed play action pass to Sample. Boy, we’re cooking.

You can’t stop Drew Sample in the open field.

Promising to see the defense suck so much. Keep the vibes terrible.

Fire Zac! Fire Al! Fire Duke! *shakes pom poms hopelessly, sobbing onto uneaten plate of nuggets*

You know we suck when we get Dedes and Archuleta every week.

Today I learned “Keyshawn Williams” is a member of the team.

Hit him in the backfield and gave up a 50 yard TD anyway. Cool. Get someone fired.

Tee. Woo.