The Complete 2020-21 Offseason Plan v2

[membengal]

This is gonna massively suck. 

[TJJackson]

thats my expectations at this point as well

Im not sure I can watch another season of "lets get Joe Burrow killed"

even a utterly and completely dysfunctional organization like Houston is making progress.

Guess what, we're not even at the level of Houston's FO at this point....how sad is that?

if I was Joe Burrow, and saw what is happening - or, more accurately, NOT happening - I'd tell the Bengals that I am prepared to sit out as many practices and games as possible for the remainder of my contract, given that the alternative is to be hospitalized every year

Ie, if you're gonna waste my time and career, I have no problem wasting your (the Brown Family's) time as well

I wouldnt see this as quitting, or Joe as a quitter/traitor. 

The Bengals need to learn to be responsible with player safety before they can even learn how to be a winning franchise....something that all other franchises seem to already understand

[AMPHAR]

1 hour ago, ShulaSteakhouse said:

It's as if he's instructed to prepare the public for disappointment every season.

They are just so tone deaf to the die hard fans. 
 

The offseason champs don’t always win in the regular season,  but the offseason champs do see increased ticket sales

[COB]

6 hours ago, AMPHAR said:

So does Liz’s vision include muzzling Hobson?  It’s amazing how tone deaf that organization is. 

Only in Bengal World is one of the big off-season stories that the owner’s granddaughter has been handed a job and is just doing GREAT at it, GREAT, I say.  

[TJJackson]

maybe in a couple of years the franchise will be sold and you can have her over to pressure wash your driveway

[COB]

I read about what a tech savvy young lady she is.  While Zac cleans my gutters (I’m done climbing ladders) she can try to get my AOL account working faster on my Commodore 64.  

[HoosierCat]

If they can all stay healthy that’s not a bad group.

 

[COB]

The scene:  Early morning in PBS, an elderly man picks up a ringing desk phone.

"Mike Brown here.  What?"  /Splack!  Dentures fly across the desk/  "Pumpkin, No!  Better come down here and talk to me about it."

Katie Blackburn and Duke Tobin enter office.

"Dad, look, we've got Trent Williams' agent on the phone.  He's getting kind of lowballed, and we've got a great offer worked up that they'll take.  It'll push the majority of the cap hit into the years after he'll retire, hardly any dead money, we just need your go ahead!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your horses there pumpkin.  There's no rush on this, let's talk about this for 6 hours."

"Dad, no.  He's got Atlanta on hold while he's talking to us and the Raiders have already made an offer.  We need to act now."

'Now, now, you two just have a seat.  Sit, now go ahead, sit."

Audible sighs as Katie and Tobin sit down.

"I know you're in a hurry to rush forward with all these 'capaologist' (tries to do air quotes, pokes self in eye) accounting tricks.  But we're not in business here to trick anybody, are we?  Duke, when you married Katie remember the story I told you about Montgomery Wards?"

"We're not married sir, you're thinking of Troy."

"Well, I was just a kid.  Montgomery Wards in Cleveland had the nicest Chevy Lumina in their window.  I wanted that thing so badly."

"Dad, it was an erector set.  The story is about an erector set."

"So anyway my dad took me down there to the store and we put it on layaway.  I paid one dollar and sixteen cents a week for two years to pay for that Chevy Lumina.  It came in husky sizes, lucky for me, I was a big kid you know."

"Sir, the agent is on the phone, we need to get back and..."

"Just hold on there Derek, we've got time to learn about finance.  So anyway I mowed lawns and shoveled snow to earn that money.  And the pride I felt, having earned that thing over time, made me enjoy it all that much more.  When we picked it up, it was a little large for me, but I grew into it.  I wore that coat for years, still had it when I went off to Dartmouth!"

"Sir, this player is a difference maker.  Katie agrees.  We need to act quickly and we're not trying to trick anyone.  Just using standard terms to finesse our way around a big salary cap hit."

"Katie, you need to explain to this young man that in our family it doesn't matter what the 'cool kids'" /tries do do air quotes again, pokes self in eye again/ " are doing.  We adhere to sound, tried and true principles of finance and business."

Long awkward pause.  Tobin stares into the abyss.

"Well all right then, Mike, I'm just going to go ask his agent if we can put Trent Williams on layaway."

"Duke, come on, my dad is an old man, there's no need for..."

"No, no!  It's ok Katie!  This young man has a head for business.  Go right ahead with your plans you two!  But I want to warn you, mother and I will be waiting up!  I know it's the big homecoming dance, but 10:30 pm is still your bedtime."

/Audible sighs and profane muttering as Katie and Duke exit/

 

 

[Wraith]

Always good investment COB....it would funnier if it wasn't so true.

[HoosierCat]

 

[TJJackson]

thats a rare piece of good news for this team

thanks Joisey

[HoosierCat]

I’ll take the over but not by much.

[Stripes]

Keep Burrow alive in a 17 game season and I take the over without hesitation.

[Wraith]

Yep