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Was Brat worse then we thought?


kevnz

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Okay, we all know Brat sucked and are thankful he's not here anymore. But one thing about yesterday is the lack of penalties on the offense. There were 3 penalties yesterday as a team. That is unheard of. I bag Alexander all the time for the o line, but maybe Brat deserved more heat for it? I would have expected much worse from the o-line considering the lockout, 2 qb's, and an away game at a very loud stadium. In years past that would have been worth at least 5 penalties there. (Of course it helps not having 85 and a couple of his boneheaded penalties too)

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I actually think Brat is like the opposite of fine wine, he gets worse and worse with age. He peaked in 2005 and it has been all downhill since.

Most OC's do in the NFL when they stay with one team too long..can't think of an OC (or o-line coach for that matter) who's been with one team as long as Brat was in the FA era. Either someone wants you or you get fired.

Brat was a very good OC all things considered...they just held on to him too long like they have Marvin and others.

If you want to "move up" in the NFL, you leave asap after a good year like Frazier did, otherwise you're just counting down to retirement in Cincinnati.

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I'll always remember Brat as a self-styled mad scientist, peering over his half glasses down at the field, watching his players run into each other, false start, and epic fail at carrying out some convoluted, labyrinthine scheme that only he could understand.

He meant well, but I suspect he often got lost trying to drive home from the stadium.

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Bob Bratkowski and his wife, Becky Bratkowski, go to the grocery store:

/Bob and Becky enter the store/

Becky: "Bob, we need hot dog buns, milk, and some of those cracker things you like."

Bob: "Go to the canned goods. Canned goods first, then we have 3 options on how to get to dairy. We read and react, I'll let you know which way to get to dairy once we're in canned goods."

Becky: "But the bread and buns are right in front of us, let's just grab the buns then go get the milk."

Bob: "That's just what they're expecting! Canned goods, then we read the other shoppers and the store personnel, then I audible the route we'll take to dairy. /Looks all around, begins shouting/ "Maple! Maple! Blue Dog! Blue Dog!"

Becky: "Why are you shouting?"

Bob: "We're almost to canned goods. I saw a mother with 3 little kids in the cereal aisle. We're down to 2 options. That end cap with all the Dr. Pepper stacked up looks totally open. Did you read that?"

Becky: "Did I read what?"

Bob: "A fat guy just walked in front of the Dr. Pepper. He's not moving!" /Begins shouting/ "Buchenwald! Treblinka! Auschwitz!"

Becky: "Bob, those are concentration camps. What's going on?"

Bob: /Puts on white lab coat and half glasses/ "The fat guy in front of the Dr. Pepper has blown up our whole scheme. Total re-audible! Jet 41, Elbow, Blaze 9, Blaze 9, Face!"

Becky: "Bob, we're in the custodian's supply closet now. Can we just go get the buns and milk and get out of here?"

Bob: /Scanning large laminated map of store/ "It's so obvious to me now, how could I have missed this? The frozen foods aisle is the key to this whole thing. It connects dairy to bread. But we have to read the restocking guy, if he's in frozen foods look for me to audible."

Becky: "Where did you get a laminated map of the store?"

Bob: "The frozen foods aisle is out, it's been blitzed by a hippie and two old ladies." /Begins furiously leafing through aerial photos of the store/

Becky: "Where did you get aerial photos of Kroger?"

Bob: /Waving arms and shouting/ "Ski slope! Phantom! Strangelove!"

Becky: "Stop shouting, we're almost to the milk. How much of your skim did we have left?"

Bob: "Not much, we need another gallon. There's a spill in front of produce. We can't make it to the checkout aisle. Punt team! Punt team!"

Becky: "Punt team? What are you talking about?"

Bob: "You're right. We haven't even run the reverse yet. Kroger will never expect the reverse!"

Becky: "Ok Bob, just be quiet so we can get through the checkout. I'm definitely driving home. That trip getting here was ridiculous."

Bob: "Audibled right through the field behind Meijer, baby! Totally avoided the nickel hybrid zone at 22nd and Broadway!"

Becky: "You tore the muffler off in that field. That'll be like two hundred bucks."

Bob: "The person in front of us has 14 items in the 10 item lane. Audible! Dentyne, Trident, Hubba Bubba!"

Becky: "You're just reading the gum packs. Do you want gum?"

Bob: "Schnitzel, Jet Go, Max Protect, 44 Slide!"

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Thanks guys, all these nice comments have given me new ammunition in the unending debate with my wife. I'll use them as follows.

Her - "No one ever understands anything you write. You're too wierd."

Me - "Oh yea? Well just check out the guys on Bengalszone who read this thing."

Her - "They're all just as f**ked up as you are."

Me - "Oh yea? ... /voice trails off, I begin searching internet for pictures of unusual snakes/

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Thanks guys, all these nice comments have given me new ammunition in the unending debate with my wife. I'll use them as follows.

Her - "No one ever understands anything you write. You're too wierd."

Me - "Oh yea? Well just check out the guys on Bengalszone who read this thing."

Her - "They're all just as f**ked up as you are."

Me - "Oh yea? ... /voice trails off, I begin searching internet for pictures of unusual snakes/

Please tell your wife that the poster currently known as HairOnFire would love to meat her someday.

:cheers:

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Thanks guys, all these nice comments have given me new ammunition in the unending debate with my wife. I'll use them as follows.

Her - "No one ever understands anything you write. You're too wierd."

Me - "Oh yea? Well just check out the guys on Bengalszone who read this thing."

Her - "They're all just as f**ked up as you are."

Me - "Oh yea? ... /voice trails off, I begin searching internet for pictures of unusual snakes/

Please tell your wife that the poster currently known as HairOnFire would love to meat her someday.

:cheers:

LOL this is just too great!!!

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And, Hair, if that spelling of "meat" was intentional, awesome.

Well, in my defense...(nervous laughter)...I wouldn't mind meeting COB' wife as well. After all, she's probably a lovely woman with many exceptional qualities.

That said, and I hope COB agrees, one must go where the joke takes us. For we are but slaves to the joke. Thus, lines must be crossed. Liberties must be taken. And in this example, meat must be served.

:blush:

Treblinka! Strangeglove! Hubba Bubba!

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