Official Lockout Thread

[HoosierCat]

OK, now it's back off again...or the report was wrong...or early...so it might be back on later or something...

/>http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/04/29/temporary-stay-expected-espn-retracts-report-that-stay-was-granted/

f**k YOU s**tTY SPORTS MEDIA!!!

[ArmyBengal]

I saw that. Good God...

[NJ29]

f**king s**t.

[membengal]

Quick! Pass out the playbooks again!

[HairOnFire]

You do realize that by repeatedly posting these updates you guys are making it needlessly difficult for guys like me to ignore everything related to the lockout. Even worse, your updates appear to be s**t.

You're not helping.

[membengal]

Get HoF a playbook!

[ArmyBengal]

UPDATE:

There's no update to post at this time...

[HoosierCat]

Schefter on TV just now, lockout back on. BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[membengal]

Hope they gave Green two copies of the playbook with instructions to give one to Dalton.

[HoosierCat]

Lockout not officially reinstated yet...teams still have time to get those playbooks distributed...

/>http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/04/29/league-doesnt-immediately-reinstate-lockout/

[Kazkal]

Lockout not officially reinstated yet...teams still have time to get those playbooks distributed...

/>http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/04/29/league-doesnt-immediately-reinstate-lockout/

They need to slip Dalton one during his press conf.

[HoosierCat]

OK, as of 11 pm the lockout is finally back on.

One of the Minny judges thought granting the stay was BS, tho:

/>http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/04/30/one-judge-not-happy-with-temporary-stay/

So now we wait for Monday...sigh.

F*CK YOU NFL OWNERS!!!

[Kazkal]

OK, as of 11 pm the lockout is finally back on.

One of the Minny judges thought granting the stay was BS, tho:

/>http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/04/30/one-judge-not-happy-with-temporary-stay/

So now we wait for Monday...sigh.

F*CK YOU NFL OWNERS!!!

Well up to this point I have been on the owners side...But I think overall better off if the NFLPA wins right now because Joseph would be a RFA...Our Rookies would get longer contracts and they could start implementing the new playbooks asap...

[TJJackson]

Apropo of nothing other than to drag Hair kicking and screaming back into this thread

/>http://www.flickr.com/photos/48435163@N04/5573806073/

[HoosierCat]

Easterbrook had a funny bit in TMQ today...of course, it's only funny if it doesn't come true.

Fringe Event! News Story from 2015 Travels Backward in Time to 2011: May 3, 2015 -- MINNEAPOLIS (AP) -- A federal appeals court today granted a temporary stay of a suspension of a preliminary injunction regarding the NFL lockout, allowing former players of the former National Football League 30 minutes to enter their old locker rooms and clean out personal possessions. It marked the 1,000th legal ruling in an ongoing battle.

Previously, a lower court had enjoined a stay of a suspension of a stay of an enforcement order prohibiting an injunction. That temporary permanent nonbinding mandatory order said the players could have 45 minutes to clean out lockers. Attorneys for the former National Football League objected vehemently. They argued that "Under the precedent in Bivens vs. Six Unnamed Agents, a temporary stay can be partially stayed but not permanently temporarily suspended," and thus the district court had exceeded its jurisdiction by allowing the extra 15 minutes.

Attorneys for the former National Football League, now known as the National Fantasy Football League, and the former NFLPA, now known as Unemployed Athletes of America, have taken up residency in Minneapolis and are raising their families there.

The NFFL broadcasts computer-simulated football games. The Unemployed Athletes of America runs an offshore gambling casino in the Cayman Islands.

Both sides said they would appeal today's ruling to the Supreme Court, which has yet to say when it will hear the 2011 class-action antitrust case filed against the former NFL. "Perhaps we will take up the case in 2029," a Supreme Court spokesperson told The Associated Press, "depending on how many justices are still at the bingo tournament."

Reached at his hairdressing salon in Malibu, Calif., lead plaintiff Tom Brady, once a quarterback for the Chuck E. Cheese Stadium Fun 'N' Games Experience (formerly the New England Patriots), said, "I'm tired of talking about back when there was pro football. If you want a perm, I have an opening at 3:30."

[COB]

Apropo of nothing other than to drag Hair kicking and screaming back into this thread

/>http://www.flickr.com/photos/48435163@N04/5573806073/

Funny story. Local curmudgeonly poster Hair on Fire has always reminded me of Gregory House, MD. So much so that I've thought of referring to him on here as House on Fire. So today I ate lunch at home and watched a dvr'd episode of House. House was doing his usual stuff like running roughshod over conventional medical wisdom, being brilliantly petulant, and saving lives just for the hell of it, for the smell of it. Then he goes into a cane shop, and he considers a totally cool cane with a carved skull as a handle. Then I came back to work and saw you posted a picture of a big skull, to try to entice Hair back into this thread. Cue the theme from The Twilight Zone. Or don't, it doesn't matter to me.

PS - For House afficianados, you know who you are, the episode I watched was the one where a family of 4 is at the hospital. Son number 1 has leukemia and 5 days to live, he's been radiated to a brittle husk, and any infection will kill him.

Son number 2 is the only bone marrow match and is in the hospital to donate the marrow to save his brother's life. Mom and Dad are duly grief stricken.

Son number 2 develops an infection before he can donate the marrow. Doctors are all like, "the bone marrow is no good, and broad spectrum antibiotics will take 2 weeks to kill the infection, case f**king closed, son number one is doomed." House goes, "f**k that, starve and freeze son number 2, his infection will accellerate until he's almost dead, but we'll be able to id the bacteria and kill it and bone marrow becomes good." The other doctors are like, "whaaa..." House does it.

The treatment doesn't work. Son number 2 gets so sick he almost dies, but they still can't id the bacteria. He develops a heart murmer. They MRI his heart, he has a growth on it. House is like, "Open heart surgery on son number 2, remove the infected growth, id the bacteria from the growth, remove the marrow, soak it in the appropriate antibiotic, and both live. Your mustache is crooked." The other doctors are like, "whaaa..." House does it.

They cut him open, but the growth isn't bacterial, it's a fibrous growth. House is like WTF? Wears a black t-shirt around the hospital. Other doctors are stupified. House goes, "OK, we take the unknown bacteria from son 2, infect son 1 with it, he gets super sick and dies, we see what develops inside him, id the bacteria with that info, and save son number 2." Other doctors go, "Use son number 1 as a human petri dish? Whaaa..." House is like, "what the f**k ever."

The parents freak out and say no. House tells them they're stupid.

Young doctors who House bosses around all the time discover son number 2 has histoplasmosis. They treat the histoplasmosis but it's too late, the bone marrow is too weak, they'd need too much.

House's protoge', the black guy, goes into son number 2's room, "How'd you like to save your brother's life? I can't sedate you because you're too sick." He then straps the kid down, and jabs huge needles into the kids bones while he's awake and screaming in agony, removing about a gallon of bone marrow.

Both kids survive. The protoge' tells House, "I tortured that kid, I'm turning into you." House goes, "You aren't turning into me, you've been like me since you were 8 years old." The protoge' goes, I quit, this is my two week notice. House stares vacantly at the camera, goes home and takes half a bottle of vicoden.

The End

[HairOnFire]

Apropo of nothing other than to drag Hair kicking and screaming back into this thread

/>http://www.flickr.com/photos/48435163@N04/5573806073/

Funny story. Local curmudgeonly poster Hair on Fire has always reminded me of Gregory House, MD. So much so that I've thought of referring to him on here as House on Fire. So today I ate lunch at home and watched a dvr'd episode of House. House was doing his usual stuff like running roughshod over conventional medical wisdom, being brilliantly petulant, and saving lives just for the hell of it, for the smell of it. Then he goes into a cane shop, and he considers a totally cool cane with a carved skull as a handle. Then I came back to work and saw you posted a picture of a big skull, to try to entice Hair back into this thread. Cue the theme from The Twilight Zone. Or don't, it doesn't matter to me.

WTF? Curmudgeon?

FWIW I used to consider "House" one of my favorite shows. Never missed an episode for the first year or so. Now I wouldn't watch it even on a bet. And because I was somehow included in this House rant without my consent I hereby offer my own imitation of every episode of House. Enjoy.

GH: I'm sorry to inform you your daughter has a disease whose name is unpronouncable.

Crying Parent: Will she live, doctor? (sniff)

GH: Only after I misdiagnose her condition at least three times, at least two of which will involve treating her in ways that could kill her. But I'll probably save her, using the reluctant help of support staff who hate me, immediately after the last commercial break.

Crying Parent: What do you mean, you might kill her? Why not just skip the misteps that seem to happen week after week after week by simply jumping to the proper diagnosis from the start?

GH: What, and miss 45 minutes of me pompously making the very same potentially fatal mistakes that will eventually be used to define my brilliance?

Crying Patient: You know something? I think I liked you better when you were the bumbling idiot in the Blackadder series.

GH: Who didn't? But let's not kid ourselves, nobody watched that show and I'm making an American-sized paycheck now.

[COB]

Uh, yes, that about sums up every episode. I just started watching it in reruns a couple weeks ago. The episodes I've seen are from season 7, I think. Not sure if the writers were doing the same stuff back in season 1 as they are in season 7.

Example from one of the episodes I saw: The sick person plot plays out about as you described it above. Meanwhile a subplot develps that has the underlings finding House's application to get into an experimental cancer treatment study. They freak out and find his medical records and discover he has an inoperable brain tumor. They cry and update their resumes. The study is for terminal patients, and House's tumor is in an inoperable location. By the end of the show they discover that House has stolen a terminal patient's medical records and is faking cancer to get into a study that will allow him to have a shunt installed in his brain so kickass drugs can be administered directly to the pleasure center of his brain. And that's what I like about it, they've created this monster.

[BengalPimp]

Judge Nelson denies NFL motion to stay...

F**K JUDD NELSON, WHEN THE HELL DID A D-LIST ACTOR GET SO MUCH POWER ANYWAYS???

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[HoosierCat]

And for those of you who just can't get enough of the combination of football and courtroom drama, the Justice Department is now investigating whether the BCS violates antitrust law...

/>http://www.ibj.com/justice-department-to-ncaa-why-no-football-playoff/PARAMS/article/26985

[ArmyBengal]

And for those of you who just can't get enough of the combination of football and courtroom drama, the Justice Department is now investigating whether the BCS violates antitrust law...

/>http://www.ibj.com/justice-department-to-ncaa-why-no-football-playoff/PARAMS/article/26985

And if it resulted in throwing out the BCS system and seeing a college playoff to determine a true NCAA champion, I'd do backflips.

Seriously, that might be some of the greatest sporting news in quite some time !!!

[cincyhokie]

And for those of you who just can't get enough of the combination of football and courtroom drama, the Justice Department is now investigating whether the BCS violates antitrust law...

/>http://www.ibj.com/justice-department-to-ncaa-why-no-football-playoff/PARAMS/article/26985

That would be great. Then we could stop hearing about how playoffs for college football would be bad for the game...because, you know, having 65 meaningless bowl games with 99% of the teams out of BCS contention by the second week of the season is a good thing.

[redsbengalsbucks]

Judge Nelson denies NFL motion to stay...

F**K JUDD NELSON, WHEN THE HELL DID A D-LIST ACTOR GET SO MUCH POWER ANYWAYS???

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That crappy actor needs to stay out of it!

[w8th]

And for those of you who just can't get enough of the combination of football and courtroom drama, the Justice Department is now investigating whether the BCS violates antitrust law...

/>http://www.ibj.com/justice-department-to-ncaa-why-no-football-playoff/PARAMS/article/26985

And if it resulted in throwing out the BCS system and seeing a college playoff to determine a true NCAA champion, I'd do backflips.

Seriously, that might be some of the greatest sporting news in quite some time !!!

Agreed. However I have read that it could very likely return bowls to the old pre-BCS days. In other words we'd still have bowls, no playoffs and not even an (alleged) 1 vs 2 game like we have under the current BCS setup.

[HoosierCat]

Bengals among teams skirting lockout rules?

Six NFL agents, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told PFW that teams were contacting them in regard to their undrafted free-agent clients after the draft, a violation of NFL lockout rules.

With the league in the midst of a work stoppage, NFL teams are not allowed to have any contact with any undrafted players. In a typical season, teams will contact undrafted players and their agents in a mad dash at the conclusion of the draft in order to sign them during a free-for-all period.

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello confirmed to PFW that any contact between teams and agents or players currently would constitute tampering.

Of the six agents that PFW spoke to, three said that representatives of NFL clubs even used personal cell phones to contact the agents following the conclusion of last weekend's draft, as opposed to calling from team-issued lines where evidence of tampering might be easier to trace via phone records in any official NFL audit. Two more agents said that teams called players directly in a few cases.

"It was almost like a normal year in terms of contact, a little less (phone contact) than normal maybe, only without the signed contracts at the end," one of the agents said.

A story on Wednesday in the Columbia (Mo.) Tribune appeared to confirm what PFW has heard on this front. Undrafted free agent Tim Barnes, a center prospect from the University of Missouri, told the Tribune that three teams contacted him after the draft: the Ravens, Bengals and Dolphins.

Bengals public relations director Jack Brennan said the team is "puzzled by the report" and is unaware of any coach or scout calling Barnes after the draft. A team source thought it would be unlikely that the Bengals would contact Barnes to sign as a free agent because they did not have a high enough draft grade on him to warrant it.