Jump to content

Mike Brown Thought of the Day


COB

Recommended Posts

That was a very serious penalty.  There is no way they imposed that for calling Tom Brady up on the phone.  In my opinion they can’t tolerate a pay-to-tank story/reality, so they say “just joking”, but that penalty is for the offer to tank.  
 

Goodell blabbed on about “unprecedented tampering,”. Blah blah blah.  He’s just trying to hype it up.  If they’re so worried about the integrity of the game, why does Tomlinson get a wink and a fist bump for stepping on the field and literally stopping a touchdown?  All that Patriots taping.  Those are far more serious than calling Brady’s cellphone, assuming Brady hasn’t destroyed his cellphone in yet another cheating scandal.  
 

Admitting teams tank would create nightmarish legal issues, especially as the league jumps into bed with various gambling businesses.  This story is all about tanking, and the NFL using subterfuge and bullshit to change that.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't even tell you through the years how many times, when the team has sucked, I wished they would just lose remaining games for a better draft pick.  It simply always made sense to me with the thought process of drafting higher increasing your chances at getting an elite player.  Not a guarantee mind you, but still...

I mean if you were the Lions or the Jaguars heading into the last few weeks of the season last year, what do they earn in winning games at that point?  Moral victory? End on a high point? Play spoiler?  Great and ask the Dolphins if they would rather have Joe Burrow or Tua at this point. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 I doubt Mike Brown ever traveled down the road of tanking like the Dolphins owner.    Sure Mixon and Jonah could have played at some point in 2019/2020 to give them a better chance of winning in those seasons, but they didn't.   Then Ryan Finley.     However you still have to make the pick.

Bengals could have easily decided Tua was their man like the Dolphins then the whole world would have applauded taking Sewell over Chase.

Those alternatives would have landed them A+ draft grades but in retrospect would have been franchise set back moves.   On the level of Ross over Mahomes or Billy Price over Lamar Jackson when all you've got is Andy Dalton, wtf? 

Tua still might be something.  He's got some good weapons.     Burrow and Herbert stamped themselves "franchise" early in their careers which is an advantage for building.

The last days of Marvin really screwed this franchise so glad the Bengals were able to get out that hole with some outstanding talent available to them.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

“Value of the club up 32% in the last year!  My 50 year rebuilding plan is right on schedule!” 
 /Cackles insanely, pilots Rascal Freedom Power Wheelchair ($1,498.20 at Sam’s Club) on concourse outside whatever the fuck the stadium’s called now, inexplicably dragging 20 foot extension cord still plugged into the charger./

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...

"Pumpkin, we really have to do something about this JTJackson guy on Bengalszone."
"Can't we buy that worldwide web message talking board out just to shut him up or something"?
"I know that SoaG is short for Son of a Gun, which is short for Son of a Bitch" "If I get my hands on him, we are going to have a real kerfuffle."
"My 1990 Light Blue Metallic Lumina is also a classic, so fuck you JTJackson" !!!

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hobs’ opening line on da site today…

Quote

As president Mike Brown, director of player personnel Duke Tobin and head coach Zac Taylor built these back-to-back AFC North champion Bengals

Mike: Heh heh heh. No one sucks up to the boss like Butch! Maybe I’ll let him buy me lunch today.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Heh, my mechanical cyberkinetic exoskeleton will arrive here any day now.  I’ll be up and around in no time!  /Cackles insanely, drives Rascal Freedom Power Wheelchair ($1,498.20 at Sam’s Club) down PBS hallway to Zac Taylor’s office/ 

“Zac’s not here, probably at practice.  He’s like the son I never had!  We’ll toss the old pigskin around once my exoskeleton gets here.  I’d already have it except I bought the rebuilt version and saved over thirty percent!  My exoskeleton had to be totally redone, it was worn by a drywall hanger in Xinjian Province.  He set the Chinese drywalling record, he drywalled a complete 14 story building in two days, but when his twelfth battery ran down the suit went in reverse and he fell down the elevator shaft!  Killed him but the suit can be reconditioned!  I’ll leave a note for Zac, ask if he needs any drywall hung at his house, I’ll be the guy for that!” /tries to reach paper and pen on Zac’s desk, leans too far out of Rascal Freedom Power Wheelchair ($1,498.20 at Sam’s Club), gets wobbly but saves it.  Forgets why he’s in Taylor’s office, falls asleep/

 

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

It's been over a year since we've heard Mike Brown's thoughts and since we just had the draft, I thought we'd check back in...

"Pumpkin, come in here please."
Katie walks into Mike's Paycor Stadium office only to find him feverishly building a coffin for himself.

"DAD !?!?, what the hell are you doing building a coffin?"
Mike looks at her with a crazed, yet completely serious look and mutters....

"I've finally done it, I have found a way to be immortal and I fooled EVERYONE.  MUAAAAAHAAAHAAA !!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?"

"I can't believe even you didn't see my master plan and way to live forever."
"I DRAFTED A VAMPIRE !!  MUAAAAAHAAAHAAA !!"

"What the hell are you talking about Dad?"

"The first round kid we took, he's a vampire."

"No he's not dad, I think you are confused."

"NO, I've never been more clear.  After watching the documentary "Queen of the Damned", I learned about "Marius" the elder vampire."  "He's going to turn me and my rule over the NFL will be FOREVER !!  MUAAAAAHAAAHAAA !!"

"I've installed windows throughout my office that will automatically filter out the sunlight during the day and we will have a constant stream of homeless people in for "dinner" MUAAAAAHAAAHAAA !!"  "No more exoskeleton's, no more plans to save my head in a persistent state, NO MORE FUCKING RASCAL FREEDOM POWER WHEELCHAIR !!"  "I will finally have my revenge on that TJ fucker from the Bengalszone board as well !!"

"Dad, I hate to tell you, but his name is "Amarius", not Marius.  Not to mention "Queen of the Damned" is a made up movie, not a documentary."

"***damnit...  can you get my rascal and a Boost drink from the refrigerator?"
"Tell me then, who the hell is Amarius Mims?"

Mike proceeds to piss himself as he stares blankly out the window...

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...