Our Next Move

[COB]

What is our next move?  Can't go status quo after this fucked up year.  So we:

1.  Fire Marvin, hire the giant beard guy from New England.

2.  Encourage the therapist who's been working with Mike for 53 years on getting over DAD-GOT-FIRED trauma to move it along.  

3.  Interview that guy who's the offensive coordinator at that team, he turned what's his name into a good quarterback, he has an innovative mind.  Then forget that dude and hire another Shula.  

4.  Have the bad-season meeting between Mike and Marvin.  Then have uncomfortable press conference where Marvin looks sort of suicidal, and Mike looks like they brought him canned peaches on pudding cup day.  Then just keep on keeping on, and roll into next season which will  be known henceforth as "The Groundhog Day Season."

5.  Buy a used bass boat without telling your wife and stash it in a friend's barn.  

6.  Send complaint-filled email to the season ticket salesman you buy your tickets from every year, make him call you, then give him a stern talking to before you agree to re-up for next year.   

7.  Do number 6 from above, but be pretty civil about it ,that ticket guy seems like a pretty good dude.  Remember the story he told about Mike falling in the elevator at PBS and the vending machine guy found him and helped him up?  Also don't forget that story he told about his daughter who needs eye surgery, don't be too hard on the guy.  

8.  Call the Bengals offices and ask to be put through to Katie.  They'll actually put you through to her voicemail.  Then leave a pissed off message, tell her she should use her math degree from Dartmouth to count to 32, because that's how many years since we've had a playoff win, but look up the correct number because I don't really know it.  Leave your number, (513) 281-7422, and tell her to give you a call.  

9.  Keep Marvin, but fire Zampese and Alexander.  

10.  Accept that we aren't going to get shit.  They'll put the whole thing back together again, probably be good again next year, win ten games, then get shown the door in the first round of the playoffs.  Just accept it.  

 

[AMPHAR]

No. 3.   I would like a Mike Shula hire. 

But like a long canoe trip we will continue to paddle this long river until all chances of a championship go down the falls

[cincyhokie]

5 hours ago, COB said:

What is our next move?  Can't go status quo after this fucked up year.  So we:

1.  Fire Marvin, hire the giant beard guy from New England.

2.  Encourage the therapist who's been working with Mike for 53 years on getting over DAD-GOT-FIRED trauma to move it along.  

3.  Interview that guy who's the offensive coordinator at that team, he turned what's his name into a good quarterback, he has an innovative mind.  Then forget that dude and hire another Shula.  

4.  Have the bad-season meeting between Mike and Marvin.  Then have uncomfortable press conference where Marvin looks sort of suicidal, and Mike looks like they brought him canned peaches on pudding cup day.  Then just keep on keeping on, and roll into next season which will  be known henceforth as "The Groundhog Day Season."

5.  Buy a used bass boat without telling your wife and stash it in a friend's barn.  

6.  Send complaint-filled email to the season ticket salesman you buy your tickets from every year, make him call you, then give him a stern talking to before you agree to re-up for next year.   

7.  Do number 6 from above, but be pretty civil about it ,that ticket guy seems like a pretty good dude.  Remember the story he told about Mike falling in the elevator at PBS and the vending machine guy found him and helped him up?  Also don't forget that story he told about his daughter who needs eye surgery, don't be too hard on the guy.  

8.  Call the Bengals offices and ask to be put through to Katie.  They'll actually put you through to her voicemail.  Then leave a pissed off message, tell her she should use her math degree from Dartmouth to count to 32, because that's how many years since we've had a playoff win, but look up the correct number because I don't really know it.  Leave your number, (513) 281-7422, and tell her to give you a call.  

9.  Keep Marvin, but fire Zampese and Alexander.  

10.  Accept that we aren't going to get shit.  They'll put the whole thing back together again, probably be good again next year, win ten games, then get shown the door in the first round of the playoffs.  Just accept it.  

 

LOL!

[TJJackson]

best choice is the bass boat or number 9

[AMPHAR]

No. 6 has potential.

 

I'm trying to think of some good 1-liners to unleash at my ticket rep.    "I tell you,  I wouldn't wipe my ass with your 2017 tickets if Marvin stays!"  "And this year I mean it....what draft party? OK, I'm in"

 

[volcom69]

10 hours ago, TJJackson said:

best choice is the bass boat or number 9

Yea I agree with this lol! All about that fishing this year lol!

[HoosierCat]

A rumor floating around espn this morning that Gunther could be DC in D.C. next year. Meh.

[volcom69]

Plenty of DC options though with Gus Bradley, or even Rex Ryan. They both are much better cord then head coaches.

[kingwilly]

7 hours ago, HoosierCat said:

A rumor floating around espn this morning that Gunther could be DC in D.C. next year. Meh.

Pass. 

[ShulaSteakhouse]

The Bengals' aren't going to fire Marvin or Alexander, ever, they will have to retire or move into another role.  I almost think Alexander hinders them more than Marvin at this point, because he is not drafting or developing people at all, going back to Andre Smith, even Zeitler hasn't exactly lived up to his potential.

I know Alexander has been here since the ice age, but how can you not hold a guy accountable for missing on his last three 1st and 2nd round picks, and drafting one of the worst 3 Centers in the league? He's killing them on offense and guys are hurt all over the place.  He's responsible for the run-blocking schemes and the running game hasn't been very good here, at least consistently, for years (highly inconsistent at best, and just plain awful this season).

<Alexander rant over />

 

 

 

 

 

[GapControl]

Jim Anderson was probably responsible for our great running teams.  Since he retired, I think they only had a short period where Hill played behind a tough playing line.

[GapControl]

 From the .com :

It was another game the Bengals lost the second half. They did score their first fourth quarter touchdown since Oct. 30 thanks to Dalton and LaFell. But now in 27 fourth quarter TD drives in which they were either winning or within seven, they've scored just two touchdowns and two field goals while turning it over seven times.

------

That says Oline to me which means Alexander more than Zampese.

Why not "promote" Paul to the front office?  Even if he coaches for a Super Bowl champ Bengals team, is that enough to say, yeah ... my way works, see?  

He has utterly failed with Bodine and OghBust.  

It has destroyed any chance at an offense this year.

[HoosierCat]

Good ol' Hobson gets out his crystal ball and sees (unsurprisingly) more of the same.

Quote

2.  WHEN WILL THEY ADRESS THE MARVIN QUESTION?:

 Note the question is “When,” not “How, “and the gut feeling here is next Tuesday. After the season head coach Marvin Lewis shows up for the year’s final press conference for the first sign, which is how they always handle it.

All indications are Lewis and his staff are going to be back next season, although there are enough brush fires out there to call in a CNN crew

Marvin before,Marvin now, Marvin forever!

Quote

It’s believed that Guenther  can’t go anywhere without the club’s permission and they don’t give away coaches.

Great. I guess we can look forward to another year of no pressure and getting run over every week.

Quote

Whitworth says he’s been told they want him back. Peko is hoping he’s convinced them in the second half of the season, when he’s helped the defense allow just a little more than 16 points per game, good for third in the league in scoring since Nov. 1.

Yeah, Whit will be back because they bungled Ced so badly. Peko, well he's a "leader" and all, so...

Quote

Or is the plan for next year to re-sign Whit, move him to left guard, and let him play next to Ogbuehi and help him through the rough patches and even play if he had to? And if right guard  Kevin Zeitler  leaves in free agency, left guard Clint Boling is free up to play right.

Yes, Butch, yes, I'd bet you a set of vintage factory Lumina hubcaps that's the plan: let a top-flight G walk (can't pay everyone!) so we can keep trying to polish a turd for another year (hint: it will still be a turd after next season).

Quote

5. HOW HARD WILL THEY TRY TO RE-SIGN REX BURKHEAD?

All indications are very. The kid has been terrific playing in place of injured running back Giovani Bernard in the last five games. Now you get an idea what it is like to watch the Patriots every week. It seems like they’ve got 50 guys that play reliably, well, and no nonsense like Burkhead.

He’s got 186 yards on 41 carries in the last five games for 4.5 yards per carry and maybe the biggest deals are he’s been yet to be stopped on third-and-one and has been absolutely clutch in the one- and two-minute drills.

In that same stretch Jeremy Hill has run it at 2.5 yards per 87 carries. Yes, Hill is banged up but at the same time the numbers are eye-popping. Look for a massive effort to re-sign Burkhead. They’ll figure out how to get him on the field later, but you can be sure it won’t take four years this time

I'll believe it when I see it.

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And that’s just a start. We haven’t even got to cornerback  Darqueze Dennard , another first-round pick heading into his option year that hasn’t played much but may have to if  Dre Kirkpatrick  leaves in free agency.

And there's that vintage Bengals thinking: let one adequate if not special CB go and worry about another CB who can barely get on the field and who mostly sucks when he does. Let's pay him a big money option instead of resigning Dre. Of course, they could always dump 'em both and draft another corner in the first round...

[HoosierCat]

From a guy who has written a book on the cap, how it works and how to work it:

Remember this when Hobson starts with the annual poor-mouthing.

[COB]

If they let Dre walk and extend Dennard, I'll kick my neighbor's dog.

[ArmyBengal]

15 hours ago, COB said:

If they let Dre walk and extend Dennard, I'll kick my neighbor's dog.

Sounds like a t-shirt for Bengals fans in 2017.

"Cincinnati Bengals - Make you want to kick your neighbor's dog"

[HoosierCat]

Here's an interesting theory from Muckraker Mike. (emphasis added)

Quote

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis is under contract for next year, and he won’t be voluntarily walking away from it.

In response to a report (or whatever) from former Washington tight end and current team employee Chris Cooley that Lewis is planning to retire, Ed Werder of ESPN reports that Lewis will not be leaving on his own.

The situation suggests a game of contractual chicken, with owner Mike Brown potentially inclined to move on from Lewis but not inclined to pay him not to coach the team in 2017. So Brown hopes Lewis will walk away on his own, forfeiting his right to be paid next year.

As PFT explained it last month, it’s believed Lewis hopes to coach long enough to allow his son, Marcus, to establish a foothold in the profession. Marcus Lewis, who currently serves as a defensive assistant/quality control for the Bengals, is in his third year with the team.

Mike Brown is notoriously careful with money, which makes a parting of the ways after the 2016 season less likely, since he’d have to pay Lewis not to be the coach and pay someone else to handle the job. It also makes local chatter of Lewis leaving on his own somewhat understandable, even if it’s simply the product of wishful thinking.

I'm not buying the "game of contractual chicken" part. Yes, Mikey throws nickles around like manhole covers, and certainly doesn't want to pay Lewis not to coach his team...but by all reports the two are a pair of peas in a pod. It makes more sense to me that the famously non-urgent Brown is just comfortable with Marvin and in no particular rush to move on. Heck, when has Mikey ever been in a rush to do anything (other than buying back all the phony stock his dad sold in the team to avoid estate taxes)?

However, the bit about Marcus Lewis I can 100% see. It's totally in character with the mom & pop nature of this organization. As always, nepotism is the rule, not the exception, in Cincy.

[COB]

19 hours ago, HoosierCat said:

Remember this when Hobson starts with the annual poor-mouthing.

Perhaps you haven't heard about the monster, the pestilence, the genocide, the apocalypse, that is... the ROOKIE POOL!!!

[ArmyBengal]

Thoughts of the "Rookie Pool" are almost too much for the modest fan to even contemplate.
It takes a true seasoned fan of the Bengals to consider looking into the eyes of that creature and even then, they come away from the encounter changed.
It has been heard the "Rookie Pool" has the ability to consume an entire city, leaving it completely helpless, wondering what the hell just happened.
It's a force of nature not for the weak of heart.  I'd advise not discussing this again as to not provoke the wrath of the "Rookie Pool".

I've probably already said too much, but felt best to mention it.

I digress from this point forward on this topic.
BEWARE !!!!!

[COB]

4 hours ago, ArmyBengal said:

Thoughts of the "Rookie Pool" are almost too much for the modest fan to even contemplate.
It takes a true seasoned fan of the Bengals to consider looking into the eyes of that creature and even then, they come away from the encounter changed.
It has been heard the "Rookie Pool" has the ability to consume an entire city, leaving it completely helpless, wondering what the hell just happened.
It's a force of nature not for the weak of heart.  I'd advise not discussing this again as to not provoke the wrath of the "Rookie Pool".

I've probably already said too much, but felt best to mention it.

I digress from this point forward on this topic.
BEWARE !!!!!

The Rookie Pool stopped by Somalia for a few months in 2011, look how that turned out.  

[HoosierCat]

You think the Rookie Pool is bad, wait until the Injury Pad gets here. If there's anything that can soak up the Pool, it's the Pad. Ask WJ3.

[ArmyBengal]

Since it appears there aren't going to be coaching changes made, there is something they need to address as a "next move".

Get this team to play an entire game and learn how to finish them out. 
Where was the motivation this season ??  How many times, by others than myself, was this team described as boring ??  
No spark.

I went back to look at the season to this point:
The tie with Washington
Lose by 1 to the Giants
Lose by 4 to the Bills
Lose by 5 to the Ravens
Lose by 4 to the Steelers
Lose by 2 to the Texans

In 4 of the above they had the lead in the 4th quarter.  The 5th game they had the lead in the 4th quarter was the game against Denver.
5 games where you either have the lead going into, or take the lead during the 4th quarter and end up losing.  Tough right there.

If someone wanted to be picky enough to try to bring the preseason into the mix:
Lose by 1 to the Vikings
Lose by 5 to the Jaguars
Lose by 3 to the Colts

This team lacked the killer instinct in 2016.  I blame the coaches, but again, no changes.
So, the next move should be finding a way to turn the above around in 2017.
Who's holding their breath ??

[volcom69]

Yea Marvin said on Sirius that he will be back in 2017. 

There goes my excitement for the offseason. Same old stale shit for years to come! 

Its going to be the same old crap this offseason, free agency will be a joke, they will let the players that need to stay leave! The players they do extend will sit on the bench because they forgot they resigned them!

Im so tired of the same old story for 14 freaking years! I see no reason next season is going to change, so our next move will be to do nothing, because change scares this team!

[HoosierCat]

I dunno, I'm kind of enjoying the fact Marvin is staying if only for the bitching and moaning on Bengals twitter. It's amazing and amusing to watch people get "Bengalized" in real time. A whole new generation of Mikey haters is being born!

[volcom69]

2 hours ago, HoosierCat said:

I dunno, I'm kind of enjoying the fact Marvin is staying if only for the bitching and moaning on Bengals twitter. It's amazing and amusing to watch people get "Bengalized" in real time. A whole new generation of Mikey haters is being born!

I guess if they are going to suck, then you might as well find something to like!