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...but could there be an actual silver lining to htis season???

http://www.profootballtalk.com/2008/12/22/...yhem-a-success/

PROJECT MAYHEM A SUCCESS?

Posted by Mike Florio on December 22, 2008, 1:37 p.m. EST

The fine folks at WhoDeyRevolution.com have been trying their damnedest to persuade Bengals president Mike Brown to hire a General Manager.

Regardless of whether the billboards and the urinal cakes have had any impact on Brown, there’s talk that the franchise is considering exactly such a move.

The first name tied to the Bengals, we’re told, is Randy Mueller. The former Saints and Dolphins G.M. currently works in the Chargers’ front office, and Mueller’s star is ascending again because of the resurgence of the Dolphins. Though most of the credit for Miami’s performance will go to Parcells, Ireland, and Sparano, a lot of the players were brought to town with the involvement of Mueller.

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Florio doesn't mention any sources, even "league sources" or "team sources" - ugh. That an outside, experienced personnel guy is even mentioned by someone is about all we have to hold onto though, even though he has a questionable track record.

I also wonder if this is one of those "necessary changes" Marvin is demanding, in order for him to stay here, and if Brown is finally giving in.

Hiring a GM here, won't automatically mean winning, but at least you can find a new one when you need to.

I would hope doubling the scouting staff and securing an indoor facility would be other mandates.

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Fantastic. I sure hope it's ___________________.

(insert name here)

Scott Pioli I hear is soon to be available. PFT is just having some fun with us...Mike's in the holiday spirit and trying to lift up the down trodden and unwashed from 19 years of grime.

But then again, Mike Brown has to be concerned that he might have a half empty stadium next season even if the economy hadn't tanked. Being that it has tanked he might be getting desperate to perk up renewals.

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I got two words for you guys. The Chin. He would be a good GM for the Bengals. Why do we persist on taking guys who've failed in other organizations. Before Parcels, Miami sucked! In one year, he has them at the playoff doorstep. Drastic improvement! Let's just move Lewis to GM and hire Tressel as the HC. Yea I know, I'm feeling crazy too.

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Sirius radio just reported this, and they said Mueller was in the running. They didn't attribute it to anyone, just like PFT. But the announcer said it in a pretty serious voice. That's the only factor I can think of to bring any credibility to this. His voice was serious, and there was not circus calliope music playing in the background.

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I got two words for you guys. The Chin. He would be a good GM for the Bengals. Why do we persist on taking guys who've failed in other organizations. Before Parcels, Miami sucked! In one year, he has them at the playoff doorstep. Drastic improvement! Let's just move Lewis to GM and hire Tressel as the HC. Yea I know, I'm feeling crazy too.

Having watched a few of the NFL studio shows that Cowher showers with his saliva, I can report that he holds the Bengals organization in complete contempt. Thus no way will he take a job here.

In an unrelated story, I hate his guts.

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A letter to Mike Brown I'd like to see:

Dear Clown,

The "NFL Experience" you are selling is simply not enough. Either hire a real GM, or we are not renewing our luxury boxes. You have 3 weeks from the end of the 2008 regular season to make your decision. Then we make ours.

Regards,

The Collective Business Owners of Greater Cincinnati

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A letter to Mike Brown I'd like to see:

Dear Clown,

The "NFL Experience" you are selling is simply not enough. Either hire a real GM, or we are not renewing our luxury boxes. You have 3 weeks from the end of the 2008 regular season to make your decision. Then we make ours.

Regards,

The Collective Business Owners of Greater Cincinnati

Dear Collective Business Owners of Greater (cough) Cincinnati,

During these tough economic times we understand the publics desire to maximize the return from discretionary funds devoted to entertainment. We, the owners of the Cincinnati Bengals, share your concerns. As a result of the economic downturn we have undertaken a series of drastic cost cutting measure that will hopefully free up the funds needed to pursue expensive free agents this offseason.

For example, due to unforseen market conditions we recently found ourselves in a position where we could fire the janitorial service that once charged this franchise 78 cents for each and every urinal cake used. Replacement urinal cakes, much nicer than the ones we used to pay for, are now provided free of charge by a fan-based charitable organization.

Rest assured these urinal cake savings will be reinvested in the team in the form of a new FB or long snapper.

As for the whole greater Cincinnati thing you mention in your letter, well....who are we trying to kid? We both know we're partners in mediocrity, right? So let's not exchange empty threats we'll both regret later.

Regards,

Mike Brown

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Sirius radio just reported this, and they said Mueller was in the running. They didn't attribute it to anyone, just like PFT. But the announcer said it in a pretty serious voice. That's the only factor I can think of to bring any credibility to this. His voice was serious, and there was not circus calliope music playing in the background.

They probably just saw it on PFT, too.

The only reason I don't dismiss the rumor out of hand is that Mueller is exactly the kind of bum I would expect Mikey to hire, were he to hire a GM.

Mueller was director of player personnel and, later, director of football operations for Seattle from 1990-99. In those 10 years the Hawks had 2 winning seasons and 1 playoff appearance (a loss). Then he went to New Orleans in 2000. NO went 10-6 and won a wild card game before falling in the divisional round. Next year, they dropped to 7-9 and Mueller was out. (The Saints wouldn't sniff double-digit wins again until 2006).

At that point, Mueller was out of football, working for espn. He eventually got picked up by Miami as a GM with no personnel authority during the Nick Saban reign. He was sh*tcanned by the Tuna.

This year, he got hired by the Chargers, who after winning 25 games combined in 06-07 are hoping to get some help from Denver so they can squeak into the playoffs at .500. Big help Mueller apparently was.

In short, he's a perfect fit for the Bengals. In Miami, he demonstrated he was willing to assume the role of "powerless GM," cash a paycheck and serve to deflect criticism from ownership. And when given actual authority earlier in his career, he consistently produced mediocre results, so even if Mikey gives him real power he wouldn't have to worry about Mueller making him look stupid by building a Super Bowl dynasty.

If Brown wants to turn "the revolution" to his advantage, Mueller's the perfect hire. The hiring of any GM will be met with hosannas from most fans and the press, season tickets and seat license renewals will start pouring back in...and nothing will actually change.

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If Brown wants to turn "the revolution" to his advantage, Mueller's the perfect hire. The hiring of any GM will be met with hosannas from most fans and the press, season tickets and seat license renewals will start pouring back in...and nothing will actually change.

About all I've heard for more than a decade is hashed over bulls**t about how any GM would be better than soP. So if true, why not Mueller?

Isn't this exactly what you guys have been begging for?

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About all I've heard for more than a decade is hashed over bulls**t about how any GM would be better than soP.

Well, you'll have to ask someone who believes that, not me.

Tread lightly. Admitting soP might be better than a bonafide card carrying veteran GM is the type of thing that will get you labeled a Mike Brown apologist.

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A letter to Mike Brown I'd like to see:

Dear Clown,

The "NFL Experience" you are selling is simply not enough. Either hire a real GM, or we are not renewing our luxury boxes. You have 3 weeks from the end of the 2008 regular season to make your decision. Then we make ours.

Regards,

The Collective Business Owners of Greater Cincinnati

Dear Collective Business Owners of Greater (cough) Cincinnati,

During these tough economic times we understand the publics desire to maximize the return from discretionary funds devoted to entertainment. We, the owners of the Cincinnati Bengals, share your concerns. As a result of the economic downturn we have undertaken a series of drastic cost cutting measure that will hopefully free up the funds needed to pursue expensive free agents this offseason.

For example, due to unforseen market conditions we recently found ourselves in a position where we could fire the janitorial service that once charged this franchise 78 cents for each and every urinal cake used. Replacement urinal cakes, much nicer than the ones we used to pay for, are now provided free of charge by a fan-based charitable organization.

Rest assured these urinal cake savings will be reinvested in the team in the form of a new FB or long snapper.

As for the whole greater Cincinnati thing you mention in your letter, well....who are we trying to kid? We both know we're partners in mediocrity, right? So let's not exchange empty threats we'll both regret later.

Regards,

Mike Brown

:lol: sadly, this is pretty darn accurate.

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About all I've heard for more than a decade is hashed over bulls**t about how any GM would be better than soP. So if true, why not Mueller?

Isn't this exactly what you guys have been begging for?

When you consider Mike Browns overall record as Cincinnati's owner/GM, I believe our odds at landing someone better equipped to do the job than our over privileged son of an NFL legend (who's only true education is that of an attorney) to make good decisions for this team rides well above 50-50.

Success breeds success, and Mike Brown holding the reigns of an organization steeped in nepotism only suggests the inbreeding of only more failure to me.

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