COB

You’re a depth guy, you get your big chance. Clank.

Myles Garrett, dude’s a beast. The offense looks in synch. Get a stop and we’ll score next possession.

Regular broadcast or the Manning brothers?

Other years: Bengals: “We’re here motherfucker! Let’s go!!” Olive Garden Parking Lot Cowboy: “Watch this.” Bengals: “Wait.. urghh… ah fuck!”

So looking forward to this game. Bengals on the rise. The Browns just doing their usual stumbling about. Hopefully the subtraction of Baker will be a big difference for us.

Wow, I would have absolutely loved to have been on that tour. I’m going the next time the bengals play there, and it’s mostly to see the stadium.

Watched that game last night and Brady was not accurate. He missed a number of throws. Also - what is with that dude’s face. He’s morphing into Blue Steel. I think surgery or some sort of fat removal procedure. Dude is sporting the sunken cheekbones of a Dickens novel street urchin. I’m very much looking forward to seeing what the Bengals can put together without Chase. If they just keep everything the same and shuffle guys around I’ll be disappointed. They need to adjust the scheme, looking for Hurst and Evans to thrive.

Hurst is going to get more looks. Obviously Boyd and Higgins will get increased throws. This sucks but if Boyd and Higgins are who they are, it won’t be a giant setback. I don’t even know which of our depth guys is going to be inserted into the lineup, but whoever it is they’re going to get some chances. Defenses will be heavily focused on our 1 and 2, the 3rd guy, whoever it is, is going to get some safety and hopefully linebacker coverage. All hands on deck that’s for sure. JaMarr needs to rest that hip for hopefully a playoff run.

WTF.

The wall is on the writing for Carman. Probably no market for him. After he’s cut, assuming he’s cut, someone will sign him for a reclamation project.

Fascinating to see the competition play out between Apple and CTB. Eli Apple came in here when we needed him and played well above expectations. Having said that, he’s inconsistent. Most worryingly, he doesn’t seem to have the maturity to handle a demotion to depth player. We’ll see. Great line from Dehner there when he describes Gunter’s worst moment as dislocating his knee during warmups. I guess that would be bad. Also funny how he can’t pinpoint a worst moment for Zach Carter. Dude just can’t beat pass blocking yet, like at all.

That Miked Up: ”A bug just flew into my mouth. Jesus.”

Also - not to rip these old timers or anything, but Terry Bradshaw and Jimmie Johnson are finished with a capital F. I watched their studio show and the two of them could barely come up with a coherent sentence after watching Joe’s highlights. Jimmie stammered a bit, then called him “Burrows”, they cut to poor Terry and he just basically had nothing. That whole show needs serious help. Retire those two, tell Howie he better find some charisma somewhere or he’ll be gone. It’s horrid right now.

Dude is on a different level. Watching the talking heads try to process what they were watching was fun. They kind of were stumped for superlatives. You just don’t see guys throw downfield like Burrow. Though most of them quickly pledged allegiance to the Bengals and basically pushed any old ladies to the back to secure their front seats on the Burrow bandwagon. I know because I’m driving the fucking thing.

I was not aware they dropped the potato cakes. Ridiculous, they seem intent on forcing their curly fries on us. Their curly fries try hard to be different. And they are different, just not in a good way.

Did you know that Chad used to be so dedicated to eating Arby’s that he actually didn’t even go home, he just slept at Arby’s. It’s true.

TJ, I must thank you. I was vaguely aware of yelp. I loaded the app in my phone then read the reviews of the Heath Arby’s. Riveting. I’ll summarize so we don’t all pile into the heath arbys yelp reviews. 1. Gabriel says it sucks, his sister works there and they don’t clean the grease baskets for days on end. It was alarming to read that they have something called “grease baskets” but I should have been prepared for this. 2. Joseph M. Is just a regular working guy. Tuckered out after a full day, he orders a number 10 combo. Gets home and is horrified to discover they forgot the fries and one of his Hawaiian Sliders was “plastered to the holder with all the cheese.” He called Arby’s 3 times and let it ring and ring. Guess what, the guys at the Heath Arby’s apparently weren’t born yesterday, they don’t answer the phone. Michael won’t be returning to the Heath Arby’s, and gives it one star. 3. William P. doesn’t have an actual experience at the Heath Arbys to review, he just jumped onto Yelp to say “fuck you Arbys.” 4. Amanda T.’s novella length review tells a heartbreaking story about a visit she and her mother made to the Heath Arby’s. Joey took their order but was rude. Then he used an insulting misspelling of Amanda’s name on the receipt! Elizabeth the assistant manager engaged in a spirited debate with Amanda regarding the various possible spellings of her name. Arby’s corporate office will be hearing from Amanda. Elizabeth’s reaction to this credible threat to her employment at Arby’s? Well, “she just stood there.”

Tragically Marisa looks like the girl who handed me my Arby’s tonight. A thousand downvotes. Olivia Ray? Absolutely yes.

Not Browns related, but important nonetheless - the kid in the Arby’s drive thru tonight dissed me so hard I could barely manage to pay my fifteen bucks then eat my sodium infused cow. So if you’re on here, kid from the Arby’s on state route 79 in Heath, not everyone knows you guys discontinued the Loaded Italian Sub (2370 mg of sodium) like two years ago. In fact disappointing news like this should probably be broken gently to your understandably disheartened customers in a respectful manner. Your method, guffawing through “dude, we haven’t had that for like two years!” seemed overly condescending. And you and the snide 15 year old girl who laughingly handed me my order (roast turkey and Swiss turkey sandwich, Arby’s double roast beef sandwich, medium Sprite) probably think you bested a bumbling out of touch old man. But I guess you didn’t expect your bad customer service to be brutally outed on a football message board that is regularly read by up to 7 regular users. Checkmate motherfucker.

Highlight show talking heads and NFL cognoscenti are on our jocks with force. I guess Burrow putting on a downfield throwing display that belongs in the Smithsonian had an effect. The danger - our less experienced guys read their clippings. We’ve all seen it. Get told how great you are then promptly fall on face. Need serious leadership now.

Gonna be a big blowout sale on naked lady silhouette mud flaps at a Pilot truck stop near you.

I think he’ll get some looks for sure. Nothing against Lou (doing a great job for us), but if you hire a defensive coach as your HC in today’s nfl, you are stupid.

Wait, milquetoast corporate shill Mike Tirico just said he was texting with Ben this week, then he and Collinsworth talked about how great Ben was. Chris perked up.

Our supernova just showed out. I listened to the game (fishing, zeroed), loved hearing Lap and Hoard call a big win. He talked a lot about Adeniji stepping in and getting the job done. I’m looking forward to watching it tomorrow night. Watching the Sunday night game now, odd to hear such a subdued Collinsworth. I wonder where his normal exuberance went?

Beautiful nfl media contributors there. I love how sports now find the hottest woman on their staff and put them on the sideline. The irate coaches getting a microphone shoved in their faces at halftime suddenly become super nice and cooperative!