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2/24/25. A day to celebrate. I’ll be heading over to the Arby’s on state route 79 in Heath and ordering these bad boys from that ill -tempered teenager in the drive through who mocked me for trying to order them a year after they were removed from the menu. Who’s the idiot now, Tristan? I’m not the one wearing a visor backwards in February in Ohio.

My final mock: Round 1: Johnny BeePeeAyy. The Bengals have already stated that at 17 they will take the Best Player Available, and so they shall. That Johnny BeePeeAyy also just happens to play the position of greatest need for the team is only a happy coincidence! Any questions such as Johnny being the 4-5 player at his position selected while the top and No. 2 guys at other spots sit on the board will be brushed aside with cries of "infidel!" and "unbeliever!" followed by the casting of urinal cakes and burning yellow legal pads at the doubters. Round 2: CC Fallingstar. The organization will welcome CC Fallingstar with exclamations of "we can't believe he was still there!" and "steal of the draft!" Again, that Fallingstar just happens to play the position of greatest need they did not select at 17 is a complete coinky-dink. CC is available, of course, because of the dreaded Character Concerns, which may include domestic violence, alcohol/drug issues, motivational concerns, halitosis, dandruff and/or a daily McDonald's habit. Round 3: Major Wha'dafuk. Fans and draft analysts alike will greet Major Wha'dafuk with initial silence, confused looks, and then guffaws of laughter. Wha'dafuk will play a position the Bengals already have well-covered and/or will be a name no one has ever heard of who was considered a late-round/UDFA prospect. In either case he will be a wasted pick as he either won't be able to get on the field, or will stink, or both. Round 4: Mister Solidpik. Solidpik, who will likely turn out to be the player from this draft with the longest career, is a double-dip with Johnny BeePeeAye. As such his ability to get on the field is limited, despite often looking better than Johnny in limited action. In four years he will leave via free agency and become a solid starter for another team. Round 5: Snoozy Benchwarmer. Snoozy is an offensive player, probably a running back but possibly a TE or even WR, possibly from a small school. The Bengals will tout him as a sleeper. In reality he will never get on the field, though he will hang around taking up roster space for three or four years for no discernible reason. Round 6: Teamy McSpecialTeamer. Teamy will turn out to be TJ's new favorite player. A special teams ace, he will make an immediate impact there, but despite his position group getting gutted by injury several times during his career, he will never be given any significant time on defense/offense. Nevertheless, he will have a long, fruitful career and will probably go into coaching once his playing days are over.

If Dax and Myles Murphy were linchpins for the defense, this whole scenario would look different. Dax would be entering the year before his club option decision was looming and the team trying to figure out how to pay him. Myles Murphy would make the Trey situation look much different and have the team to looking for his replacement in the draft, without thought of paying him market money. Even if the light goes on for Myles this year, they have him locked up for three seasons including the option year. Since that is not the case, they could afford to pay both Chase and Tee, because, well… who else are you going to pay?

And Bengals creepypasta is born…No. 14 is Slandyman.

A Panthers wide receiver jolts awake, gasping and in a cold sweat. He quickly sits up, or actually he does not, he tries, but it's no use. His body does not obey his commands. He is stuck to the bed and short of breath. He sees the digital clock display on his nightstand. 14:14 AM. That's when the sleep paralysis demon crawls on top of him, all its weight pressing him into the mattress. He tries to scream, but his mouth will not open. Another voice slips warmly into his ear. Don't be afraid. Let's just have fun and play together.

Extend him before free agency opens so you know exactly what your cap situation is.

Good news: I just saw him down at the Stud Pass Rusher store. He was pushing a shopping cart around. Bad news: Mike was with him, I heard him say we don’t need anything here, we have Myles Murphy at home.

LOL. I actually went for walk around the garden. Couldn’t watch the last 2 plays

ArmyBengal Jr. and I are up here in Columbus for the Buckeyes game tonight. Glutton for punishment with these cold weather games but it’s going to be electric in the Shoe tonight !! Hoping the Buckeyes get the win. On a side note and how you know you’re getting old… ArmyBengal Jr. was accepted to Ohio State. Just found out. Definitely a proud Dad moment !!

Before you post something like this again I’d appreciate it if you’d take my $39.99 online course; “Oxcart; The Mysterious Obstacle to NFL Success.” It’s a masterclass in old timey, aw shucks financial management of a modern billion dollar business. Lesson number one is entitled, “Do Nothing. Seriously, Don’t Do Shit”

I think Taylor builds a strong culture, he's a solid free agency recruiter, and he has great respect for tradition. I don't think he does much well on Sundays though. He isn't a great playcaller, he's an even worse game planner (especially early in seasons), he makes bad decisions with respect to risk/reward, and he doesn't seem to have a coherent philosophy. Every week I get the feeling he is winging it.

Well I was thinking and I’m ditching my Burrow jersey and going back to my Geno Atkins jersey for week #4. A win is on the way.

Chase: ; Lemme get him on a conf call Burrow: ok, but make it quick as I have to get to my hair dying guy to get the blonde refreshed Chase: dude....seriously? (ring) (ring) Terrace: hey buddy, wuzzup Chase: come on up here, they wanna look atcha Terrace: you guys are too deep at wide, man. I gotta go play for a bad team like Caro.....oh wait Chase: we getcha on the PS. Easy Peazy Terrace: cant make no money there man Chase: you can get by on 300k, dude. Plus I can getcha some extra scratch with a side hustle with this movin' company with pink trucks Terrace: look whos talkin......your teeth alone cost 300k Chase: yeah, you dont need no teeth like mine. Tee is headin' out next year and we'll need a WR2 Terrace: no man, you'd be WR2, I'd be 1 Chase, uhm yeah, sure dude. So come up here, they get a look at you on the PS for a coupla three weeks, we see how it goes. Burrow: and I throw the passes. You remember, those, right? Does the number 13 and 2019 ring any bells? Terrace: sure they do, Shady. Chase: Joe has an electric Pickup from some closed down Lordstown company.....you can sleep in that. Terrace: Shady has a big house in Anderson, why cant he put me up? Chase: dang it dude, thats where TJ Jackson lives, plus Mixon almost got his ass shot off there. He so scared, he ran off to Texas Terrace: {shudder} say no more, man, say no more Burrow: and I'll talk them into a signing bonus, so you can afford to make coffee and egg muffin runs with Ocho Chase: and you mighta heard? The Super Bowls in Nawlins this year. You remember that too, right? Terrace: Yeah Yeah. Aight. On my way.

I would bet a large sum of cash that there is about no chance of him missing games regardless of no extension.

Have no idea what show Burrow appeared on, but this shit was hilarious. A Steelers fan (i'm assumed he's the host), wearing a TJ Watt shirt says to Burrow: "If you were to predict right now the AFC North (you can put Bengals first), how do you think the other three fall?" To which Burrow quickly responds: "Bengals first and then I don't care !!" So cool and yet so savage at the same time. Love this kid !!

Having some time to sit on these picks and consider what I like and don't like, I end up somewhere like what follows. Grades are pointless, but I'll do it anyway -- to represent how good I feel rather than how good the pick is (because who the hell knows). R1 - Shemar Stewart - It feels like another season where the pick that makes me the most uneasy is the first one. This has been a recent theme with Duke Tobin outside the Burrow/Chase home runs. Stewart is branded as the typical high-ceiling/low-floor gamble, and I hope that's accurate. I worry that he's better described as a moderate-ceiling/low-floor prospect. Players of a similar body-production archetype have, at best, been guys like Rashan Gary and Travon Walker (about 9-10 sacks in a good year). That's a good thing, and I would love to see that. It's not Myles Garrett though, even if the athleticism is on that level. The floor is Myles Murphy or Margus Hunt. We've seen this before, so I don't really feel great. I have been wrong before, so I will hope that is the case again. Projected role in 2025 -- rotational pass rusher, possible starter (I think he could be in a revolving door with Ossai and Murphy opposite Hendrickson). "Grade" -- D R2 - Demetrius Knight - I think I am higher on this pick than many Bengals fans. He strikes me as a legitimately good player with great character and maturity. His makeup as a prospect seems right on track with Wilson and Pratt before him, and we know that has worked. If the biggest gripe is his age, then I genuinely don't care about that. If they get four years from him and he plays well enough to shore up the LB room, then that's fine. Projected role in 2025 -- compete for a starting role with Burks to replace Pratt "Grade" -- B R3 - Dylan Fairchild - I also like this choice. It's fine to quibble about his "value" relative to draft position, but that's really all guesswork anyway. I know of at least two big draft outlets that had him in rounds 3-4, so I don't view it as some egregious reach. The guard position is a black hole on this roster without this pick, so we know there's a clear need and opportunity. Indeed, given his pedigree at Georgia, I think it's fair to expect him to step in and outperform Cordell Volson. There's no guarantee of that, but I like his chances. He's also another rock-solid character pick. Projected role in 2025 -- starting left guard "Grade" - B R4 - Barrett Carter - Good pick. I'm not sure it was "necessary" to double-dip at linebacker, but in the fourth round who cares. I think he's a good player that should have every opportunity to contribute in the scheme Al Golden has advertised. Between the higher emphasis on 4-3 packages and the need for special teams help, Carter should be able to find a role. I think he can be an ADG-type depth piece. I like him more than the LBers already on the roster behind the starters and Burks. Projected role in 2025 -- defensive depth, 4-3 packages, and special teams "Grade" - B R5 - Jalen Rivers - I'm not going to complain about more OL depth. This team has struggled so much in recent memory, including during deep playoff runs, because their OL depth wasn't good enough to cross the finish line. I am not sure if Rivers changes that, but he at least represents an effort. I could say "I'd have preferred Mbow", which, fine, but I will save that gripe until Mbow plays a down. I also like that he has significant collegiate experience at both guard and tackle. He also snapped the ball at the Senior Bowl. Projected role in 2025 -- OL swing depth "Grade" - C R6 - Tahj Brooks - I really don't care about this choice either way. Maybe he can contribute on special teams. I don't think running back was a need, and I have no clue about this player as a talent. He'll have to provide an immediate spark in camp and during the preseason, or his ceiling on this roster is probably pretty low. I don't figure he has a leg up over Moss or Perine for snaps in the immediate present. We've seen that before with Chris Evans. He could theoretically upgrade Trayveon Williams, but that means very little to me. Projectetd role in 2025 -- 4th running back, special teams, possibly cut "Grade" - C Put it all together with added weight for the early rounds, and I end up in the vicinity of a C overall. Sure. I guess that's about how I feel.

Yep, plenty of time for the Reds to Red. We've just begun. Hopefully a little early winning allows Francona to assert himself in the clubhouse and build a little winning culture.

I will make one more post in this ridiculous exchange and then leave it alone. I am sure nobody else wants to read this conversation. First and foremost, I have to mention: The facts are the guard play has been less than average, IMO. - AMPHAR I really hope I don't need to explain why this sentence does not work. Read it again. Consider in particular the second word and the last "word". Anyway, more importantly: Yes, the Bengals "can" win the Super Bowl. They "can". It's a possibility that exists. That's what "can" means. There is some unknown probability that is non-zero of the outcome "Bengals win the Super Bowl". I suspect that probability is quite low, but also better than a decent proportion of NFL team's probabilities to do the same. Any number I put to that probability would be completely meaningless, but I'll do it anyway to illustrate what I am saying (if somehow this wasn't already clear assuming the most generous possible interpretation of good faith). Suppose the Bengals have a 3% probability of winning the Super Bowl. They "can". It's possible. If you take the Vegas Super Bowl odds for the Bengals (+1800), that roughly translates to a projected 5% (not a factual value). They "can". I believe that number would meaningfully increase if the guard position is meaningfully addressed. Maybe it jumps up to 9% or 10%. Again, the numbers are meaningless, but this is the concept. I believe shoring up that glaring weakness would help the Bengals to avoid one of the more obvious means of losing a playoff game down the line (leaning on their elite offense which underperforms because the opposing IDL eats Volson, Ford, and/or Patrick for lunch). I don't think the same applies to most position groups on the roster. They're either already great or they're good enough that an upgrade would not represent the same significant improvement in odds. I would assess the edge rushers much like I assess the guards (and I would place slightly more importance on them than the guards). Thus, in my view of the matter, the Bengals' Super Bowl chances hinge meaningfully more on upgrading certain position groups than on others. Guard and edge rusher are the big two for me. If they don't draft a solid player at either of those positions, I believe their Super Bowl prospects will be meaningfully diminished. They "can" still win it, because they have high-end talent that theoretically could make up for the deficit. But it would foolish to lean on that prospect, because "can" is the world's least useful word. That's what I am describing as "digging a hole" -- as of right now, we're in the diminished state. I am not sure that we had to be here, but we are here. There's still time to change that, either by spending a reasonably high draft pick on IOL or signing a capable IOL after the draft (they've given no indication of interest in doing the latter, but I would accept it all the same). On to "facts": It is a "fact" that the Bengals fielded a top ten offense in 2024 (as measured by yardage and points). It is a "fact" that the Bengals won five playoff games with questionable guard play. It is a "fact" that the Bengals lost two playoff games with questionable guard play, including a Super Bowl. It is not a "fact" that having won playoff games before with questionable guard play means their guards are good enough to win playoff games now (they're not even the same guards). This is a projection. It is not a "fact" that the Bengals guard problems will lose them a playoff game. This is a projection. I project that it could lose them a playoff game, and the probability is higher than I would like. It is not a "fact" that the Bengals' top ten offense in 2024 translates to a top ten offense in 2025. This is a projection. I tend to agree with this projection. It is not a "fact" that the Bengals' successfully fielding a top ten offense would mean the guard position cannot represent a "hole that has been dug". This is an invalid argument by non sequitur. The conclusion must follow from the premises. It doesn't. The offense can be awesome, have bad guards, win one or two playoff games despite their bad guards, and then lose their last playoff game because of their bad guards. All of those outcomes can exist together. I cannot imagine making a more emotionless argument than this. This is a robotic printout of an academic treatise. Onlookers were snoring halfway through it.

I think everyone can agree that the interior of the o-line is a need. AMPHAR, I don't think anyone is suggesting the Bengals "reach" for a guard, but some specificity may be helpful. I don't think any round would be considered a reach if they choose a guard. However, it may not be wise to select a guard over another position of need, such as defensive end, if there is a higher rated defensive end to take when they go on the clock. In that instance, NO, don't reach. However, I don't think anyone is saying that. Can this team win a Super Bowl right now? Could this team have a highly ranked offense? Can they score points and rack up yards? The answer to all of those questions is, of course they "could". My thought is that if that happens, it would be in spite of the interior o-line play because they are one of the worst in the entire league. The fact is, this team has done all of those things to this point IN SPITE of the IOL, not because of them. Yes, Burrow, Chase, Tee and the others are that good. Again, sacks are a concern and you yourself has stated that cannot continue. The IOL is the main culprit to that issue. Why on earth would they not address that concern? It's not media sensationalism and the sky is not falling. It's simply acknowledging we are working with one of the worst units in the league and they should try to improve that. If they are successful in doing that, what MORE could this offense be capable of? Put me in the camp that wants to find out.

Put another way, much more succinctly: Boasting a top 10 offense does not guarantee winning playoff games when the offense has a glaring hole waiting to be exploited by strong defensive opponents.

I see the same thing by and large Hoosier, but have found that when considering those OT's that will probably move to OG once drafted, my outcomes improve. Again, who knows how it's all going to play out? That's why I think we continue to see visits with guys like Minnesota, OT, Aireontae Ersery. Big, athletic OT's that will probably move inside, but still capable of backing up the OT spot as well in a pinch. That honestly might be the best approach as I view things anyway.

No, no, I didn't take it that way at all. What federal agencies still exist come end of the year remains to be seen. Clearly, I'm an advocate for Veterans and always will be.

From the Colts board. With that many teams and it doesn't even mention Eagles that were rumored "monitoring". Stick with the ridiculous trade package as long as you can especially when its rumored the Bengals have a $30m offer on the table. What's the point of trading Trey for compensatory pick value? Let him sit out and take a chance at the deadline a team gets desperate if he don't want your $30m.

NFLPA Team Report Card: Category 14: Arby’s accessibility and quality: Cincinnati Bengals - 27th. Unlike some teams that provide Arby’s (Chiefs - unlimited Arby’s any time of day or night. Chargers - Arby’s free at lunch during season), the Bengals have only a coupon system to get Arby’s into the hands of hungry players. Several players complained about a certain zit-faced teenage drive through worker on loan to the Montgomery Road location from an Arby’s in Heath, Ohio. “This youngster argued with me about my coupon, but worst of all, he was very rude to several late middle-age customers who just weren’t familiar with Arby’s’s current menu,” said one player. Another Bengal player added, “If I hit on some of my incentive bonuses this year I’m going to hire a hitman to kill this pimply-faced teenager from the Montgomery road drive through. That’ll teach him to respect his elders. And to accept the coupon Mike gave me even though it says ‘Expires 9/2018”.

Please Jags. Please hire Troy !! Good luck Troy we are rooting for the draft picks, er, I mean you !!

We don’t need Myles, we already have Myles at home.

Since 2003, the Bengals have had three eras of success: Palmer in ‘05 and ‘09 (not in between) Dalton from ‘11 to ‘15 Burrow in ‘21 and ‘22 (arguably also the last two 9-8s; very arguably) The Palmer Bengals did not sustain success. The Dalton Bengals lost five consecutive playoff games. The Burrow Bengals climbed high and have since not sustained success. We can lazily say “they’ve won more than some other teams” and assume that means they’re doing everything right. Or we can recognize a problem and be critical. ”Winning more than some other teams” with two different elite quarterbacks in this time frame is falling below the standard.

Hell yeah I am. Once I get this degenerative disc disease, rheumatoid arthritis and PTSD under control and cut back on the whiskey, I’m all in. Come to think of it, a couple of those things might actually help. Anger issues and pain killing agents probably are a bonus when tackling. Yep, put me in coach !!

Priority #1: Go Ravens’ opponent Priority #2: Go Lions Priority #3: Go Chiefs’ opponent

Here’s what I won’t do. I won’t let my contempt for Mike Brown and the approach this franchise typically takes, cloud what they have at least tried to do. They have made some solid draft picks, even if initially I didn’t care for them. They drafted Higgins with Burrow and then gave Burrow another weapon in Chase the next year. They already had Mixon, but drafted Chase Brown, who had a great season this year. They have spent money to bring in free agent o-linemen, tight ends, and made a trade for Herbert before the trade deadline after Zack Moss went down, which they never do. They have also brought in contributors on defense as well. Hendrickson, Reader and Hilton were all above average additions. While the coaches haven’t gotten the results they should be getting, we just saw the willingness of the team to hold them accountable. I wasn’t expecting to see that happen that quick, if at all. Not sure where there’s a 90% change that nothing happens comes from when change is the hot topic today with coaches get canned. Again, I hate Mike Brown, hate some of the coaches they brought in and hate the results they’ve gotten. Well, outside of getting to two AFC championship games and a Super Bowl over the last five years. There are plenty of teams in the league that can’t say that. However, I won’t sit here and claim they’ve done nothing to at least try to help build around Burrow. Yeah, everyone has an asshole but some are dumber than others. Not pointing that at anyone here specifically, but I think at least a little hate is misguided.

Third down incompletion forced? With no flag? Incredible

Biggest failure of a season since at least 2010 and probably since 1989. I define "failure" as a massive gulf between expectations and results, so all the trash can seasons in the '90s onwards don't quite count.

I didn’t see a single snap of the game yesterday (first time since 06) as was at the below. Even if you’re not a soccer fan, the sheer drama was great. My team won eventually but not before I was on the verge of a coronary episode. We also have 2 members of the USMNT - so we are, obviously, the good guys

Let the dead cat bounce begin

Fire Zac Taylor and Lou Anarumo. Hire Bill Belichick, who has pretty much never had a bad defense in his life. Let Joe Burrow adapt to a head coach that is just as much of a psychopath as he is about winning. Suffer his inconsistent drafting record, because Tobin isn't doing any better anyway. At least he'll win games when Joe throws 3 TDs.*** ***All of the above is useless dreaming, I'm well aware

FIRE THAT *** damn PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALL COACH. THIS *** damn IGNORANT PIECE OF SHIT REALLY IS THE WORST COACH IN YOUR FUCKING HISTORY. HE WONT ASK YOU TO BRING IN A PLAY COACH BECAUSE HE THINKS HE IS ALL THAT. HE IS NOT. IF I ever met that ignorant bastard I would ask him for a meeting behind the wood shed. If you do not fire that s.o.b. I will never watch another game. Why don't you hire a fucking real coach and a *** damn PMAY CALLER. ZAC TAYLOR IS AS BAD AS FUCKING MARVIN WAS. I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF AT YOU IGNORANT BASTARDS IN THE FRONT OFFICE. YIU SEE PROBLEMS AND YOU FAIL TO FUCKING ADDRESS THE ISSUES. SELL THE FUCKING TEAM YOU *** damn LOSER OWNER.

Why do you throw on 3rd and 1 when you need to run the clock? You are in a last possession situation. Zac Taylor absolutely has no feel for momentum or situational football. It’s why he loses close games.

My recent interview with Mike Cob: “Thank you for meeting with me Mr. Brown.” MB: “My pleasure. Call me Mike, please.” Cob: “Very well, Mike. When I look back on my life, I feel as though I am looking into a dark abyss of space and time.” MB: “Is that a question?” COB: “Do you feel that way? That your life is devoid of all purpose? That nothing truly has any instrinsic value?” MB: “I don’t know. My purpose right now is that big Fresca contract for the stadium.” COB: “You were once known as a bit of a progressive on societal matters. Yet you quietly sat on the sidelines as Ohio has been turned into a gerrymandered theocracy hellhole. Will you spend a high draft pick on another offensive lineman next year? MB: “Uh, yes. We will shore up that line with draft picks. Yes.” COB: “You reside in a mansion. Amongst the wealthiest of our society. Yet you repeatedly drive twenty five miles per hour on Shawnee Run Road in the left lane with your blinker on. Why?” MB: “How do you know about that?” COB: “The other owners are tired of doing all the work while you sit on the sidelines, an iconoclast who does nothing but poke them with a sharp stick. They do the heavy lifting that increases the value of your franchise, yet in your own small way your obstruct them at every turn. Why” MB: “What?” COB “You frequently reference a hypothetical oxcart, and a hypothetical ditch. What is the meaning of this?” MB: “OK! Yes, as the league moves forwa…..” /loudly interrupted by interviewer/ COB: “Is there a god?” MB: “Well, I don’t know for sure. There is the accrual accounting method.” COB: “So, accrual accounting is your god?” MB: “I never thought of it that way. But yes, I guess it is.” COB: “The American Society of Sock Garter Collectors has a god. And you, Mike Brown, are that God!” MB: “Ha ha! Yes, I have a quite a collection of sock garters, and yes most in the ASSGC consider my collection to be the gold standard.” COB: “Why is your sock garter collection not in the Smithsonian?” MB: “It will be. We’ve been quietly negotiating the terms of the loan of my collection to the Smithsonian.” COB: “I’m afraid to ask this question, but I will. How long have you been negotiating?” MB: “11 years.” COB: “The lighthearted portion of the interview has concluded. When will you die?” MB: “Gosh I don’t know. I feel good.” COB: “Do you think you may be immortal?” MB: “Yes, I might be. I’ve thought about that.” COB: “If you are immortal, you will be destroyed by watching your children grow old and die. Will you consider signing some free agents to help in the defensive backfield?” MB: “Gee, I leave all that up to my personnel guys, the scouts and such.” COB: “Is that a no?” MB: “Correct.” COB: “Thank you Mr. Brown, that concludes part one of our interview?” MB: “Part what?”

I’m encouraged by McKinley Jackson

Can you imagine being a builder, a general contractor. You bid on Cincinnati’s new (hypothetical) stadium and you get it. Mike Brown is in charge of the project and you have to negotiate every change order, every material substitution, every schedule change, with him. You’d be smiling as you jumped off a bridge somewhere.

Lucas Oil Stadium is incredible. The ability to open the side wall of the stadium to view the city is absolutely brilliant. We were up there for the Colts Texans game earlier in the season. Always a great time. I was back down in Houston and NRG is the same way. The Raiders new stadium in Vegas is always really cool to see. That being said, I like football in the elements as well. You just know going into it that you can't do the same things a dome affords you opportunity to do. For how much money they want from the public these days, having something which has the ability to bring in more revenue throughout the year is ideal. Concerts, other sporting events, the draft, so on and so on. A dome is the smart thing.

got a response from Myles Murphy's brother :-)

The Steelers forgot to provide a sacrifice to the blood demon this week.

If he keeps delivering crap teams like this, Zac may have only 11 or 12 more seasons as our head coach.

Hate dropping a ball in the endzone. Hate fumbling at the goal line. Hate giving New England constant comfortable third downs. Hate throwing short of the sticks all day. Hate Dax Hill trying to tackle anything. Hate Trey Hendrickson dominating his man but never finishing. Hate Zack Carter playing football. Hate kicking off out of the endzone and handing the opponent the 30 yard line. Hate punting with two minutes to play and counting on this defense. Hate punt returners that don’t protect the ball. Hate week 1 preparation. Hate offensive game plan. Hate Joe Burrow’s wrist. Hate staring at 0-2 in the conference.

he does need a new alternator on the Lumina, so.......

Carman over here cleaning out my gutters: 1. I had to help him carry his ladder from his truck. 2. I had to show him how to properly use his ladder. 3. He didn’t bring any trash bags so I had to give him a couple so he would have someplace to put all the gutter detritus. 4. He took a nap in my yard.

Last I saw only one player drafted in 2021 has already been extended (#1 overall Trevor Lawrence). Agents are getting beyond tiresome with these games.

I wonder what Marvin's camp t-shirt slogan would be this season if he was still around. "Play Football Today" "Do My Job" "Donuts Are For Winners" "We Are Doing Bengals Again" *Text-free photograph of Marvin clapping*

Yuuuup. Also this is Bengalszone’s last 18 or so months in about 4 minutes.