TJJackson Posted August 8, 2018 Report Share Posted August 8, 2018 dont be mean to Gramma :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingwilly Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 On 4/25/2018 at 6:44 AM, TJJackson said: http://www.post-gazette.com/sports/steelers/2006/06/15/Trash-talking-NFL-fans-waste-no-time-reveling-in-Roethlisberger-s-misfortune/stories/200606150341 A high water mark, for certain. Let's commit to some glory day Sundays this fall, everyone shit posting the play by play. Any takers? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted August 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 Even though the link was dead, I just plain like the sound of it. Count me in. Roethlisberger is a first grade tool. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GapControl Posted September 5, 2018 Report Share Posted September 5, 2018 Splack! (Dentures fly across the breakfast table) Pumpkin! Who the hell is Geno Atkins!? 25 million ? Is there an extra zero? Get that good for nothin, greenie wild boy of yours Troy in here. And pick up my teeth will you Pumpkin Snoogles? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted October 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 Splack! (Dentures fly across the breakfast table) "Hue Jackson fired? By gum, I know that name from somewhere! My tight end at Dartmouth? My great granddaughter's dressage coach? The old Gatorade rep who used to call on us at PBS and was running a dice game on concourse C during games? Was Hue Jackson the name of the neighbor's Spaniel when I was a boy back in the '40s?" Prolific grunting while adjusting buckles and straps on circa 1963 truss "Hue Jackson, Hue Jackson, is that a pudding pop flavor I used to buy for the boys at the A&P? Is Hue Jackson my address? My name? An offering on the early bird menu at Frisch's? I remember! Hue Jackson is a play dad used to call back in Massillon! 4th and 1 on their 30, call the old Hue Jackson! Works every time!" Coughing fit strikes, collapses on the davenport. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Passepartout Posted October 31, 2018 Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Hue Jackson over that only winning three games in that era will never be hired as a head coach. As far as anybody is concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShulaSteakhouse Posted November 3, 2018 Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 On 10/30/2018 at 8:46 PM, Passepartout said: Hue Jackson over that only winning three games in that era will never be hired as a head coach. As far as anybody is concerned. Yeah he's done as a HC. UNLESS...Marvin brings him back here, retires after the season, and has MB hire him as the new HC. Don't be surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BengalszoneBilly Posted November 3, 2018 Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 45 minutes ago, ShulaSteakhouse said: Yeah he's done as a HC. UNLESS...Marvin brings him back here, retires after the season, and has MB hire him as the new HC. Don't be surprised. Bringing Marvin Lewis back as HC blew me out off the water, so yeah. Nothing would surprise me now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted November 7, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2018 Splack! (Dentures fly across the dashboard of stock 1975 Ford Grenada) ”By gum! Is this the Ronald Reagan? It is! Thank God, getting confusing with all these new roads out here,” continues driving 15 miles per hour on random residential street in 7 Hills with left blinker on 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted November 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2018 “By god, a man’s just not dressed without sock garters!” Shakes fist at uncaring universe. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted November 8, 2018 Report Share Posted November 8, 2018 "What was this trade deadline thing I heard about recently"? "Did I miss an opportunity to increase my stock in Werther's again"? "There's just something about those hard candies that makes me.... Hey I forgot to write a check to the icebox repair man". 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted November 15, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2018 Splack! (Dentures fly across the breakfast table) "Dierdre, take a letter." Begins dictating: "Dear Ken Petet, Good morning Ken, hope all's well well with your mother. As you know, your little act where you tie those monkeys to the backs of dogs and let them run around on our football field is about the best entertainment we've had at halftime since we used to spend big money to get Up With People in here back in '68. I've got a proposition I think you're going to like. It just so happens our fans love a good ol' tug of war. This has been demonstrated, and it's an undeniable fact. Now listen here, you duct tape those monkeys hands to the end of a rope, and put the dogs on the other end. Won't need to train the dogs, they just love to pull a rope naturally. My brother Pete had his shoulder dislocated by my dad's dachshund some years back. Wasn't a miniature dachshund, just a regular one. That dog just loved to pull a rope. Anyway, my crowd would love it. Tape the monkeys to one end, let the dogs drag them around the field by the other end of the rope, we'll play some circus sounding music, we almost can't miss with this one. I know what you're thinking, 'where am I going to find a legitimate tug of war rope?' Just so happens I've got one. And here's where it gets interesting. You take this show on the road with you, I lease you the rope. Either a flat fee, or I take a percentage, doesn't really matter to me. Of course, we fold the performance at our place into the lease contract. I'll pay you a small fee, like a hundred bucks. You use our rope, see how successful the act is, then take it out on the county fair and minor league baseball circuit. Let me know when we can get going on this one. My fans can't wait to see your new dog monkey tug of war Extravaganza! Truly yours, Mike Brown" "Dierdre, did you get all that?" Caregiver from At Home Instead says, "Mr. Brown, we're at your breakfast table. We don't go into your office until 11 today. Do you want your other slippers?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GapControl Posted November 16, 2018 Report Share Posted November 16, 2018 5 hours ago, COB said: Splack! (Dentures fly across the breakfast table) "Dierdre, take a letter." Begins dictating: "Dear Ken Petet, Good morning Ken, hope all's well well with your mother. As you know, your little act where you tie those monkeys to the backs of dogs and let them run around on our football field is about the best entertainment we've had at halftime since we used to spend big money to get Up With People in here back in '68. I've got a proposition I think you're going to like. It just so happens our fans love a good ol' tug of war. This has been demonstrated, and it's an undeniable fact. Now listen here, you duct tape those monkeys hands to the end of a rope, and put the dogs on the other end. Won't need to train the dogs, they just love to pull a rope naturally. My brother Pete had his shoulder dislocated by my dad's dachshund some years back. Wasn't a miniature dachshund, just a regular one. That dog just loved to pull a rope. Anyway, my crowd would love it. Tape the monkeys to one end, let the dogs drag them around the field by the other end of the rope, we'll play some circus sounding music, we almost can't miss with this one. I know what you're thinking, 'where am I going to find a legitimate tug of war rope?' Just so happens I've got one. And here's where it gets interesting. You take this show on the road with you, I lease you the rope. Either a flat fee, or I take a percentage, doesn't really matter to me. Of course, we fold the performance at our place into the lease contract. I'll pay you a small fee, like a hundred bucks. You use our rope, see how successful the act is, then take it out on the county fair and minor league baseball circuit. Let me know when we can get going on this one. My fans can't wait to see your new dog monkey tug of war Extravaganza! Truly yours, Mike Brown" "Dierdre, did you get all that?" Caregiver from At Home Instead says, "Mr. Brown, we're at your breakfast table. We don't go into your office until 11 today. Do you want your other slippers?" Hahaha great timing at the end COB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted November 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2018 “Thanksgiving, eh? I’m thankful our lawyer let me return that tug of war rope.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShulaSteakhouse Posted November 25, 2018 Report Share Posted November 25, 2018 Hobson's already hard at work whittling this down to $4 mil to re-sign FA's. Also, with the exception of I think 3 teams, that's pretty much a list of the worst teams in the league. Funny how that works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted November 26, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 “Good weather today, nice day to go to the ol’ ballpark.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GapControl Posted March 16, 2019 Report Share Posted March 16, 2019 “Katie? Did you decide on that new coach, yet?” “Yeah, Dad. I want Zac.” “What? What for? Awful young and wet behind the ears. What would grandpappy Paul say?” “Well... you know Dad I got a thing for sandy blondes and... well... it’s not that I don’t love Troy but he’s older now and it would just warm me up to be able to check out Zac everyday. Rev my little engine a bit, Dad. Like a strong cup of coffee.” “Ah, Katie, you can have whatever you like, pumpkins. You must got some of that horndog gene in you from your dear mother. My Lord almighty, I couldn’t keep her off me no matter how hard I tried. I sought the Good Lord in prayer just for a moment of time to swig another viagra tonic, ... even He couldn’t squelch that woman’s starburning fire out!” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted March 16, 2019 Report Share Posted March 16, 2019 “Stupid fans bought the whole fire Marvin bit just long enough to buy up season tickets. That was easier than I thought it would be. Time to overhaul the Lumina !!” 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted March 18, 2019 Report Share Posted March 18, 2019 "Ok, I got the coach Pumpkin wanted so she can get her rocks off, now let me get to work on getting McCarron back in here." "Ooooooh, Katherine Webb.... Want to touch the heiney...." "AJ is such a fine young man." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted March 18, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2019 “This remote... eh... channel select, er...not the dvr, damn, changed the input... arrow up... not msnbc! Damn!” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 Splack! (Dentures fly across the room) “Great googly moogly! March 25th is here already! Every year I sign a 9th rounder on this exact day, then have him clean out the gutters! Deirdre! Bring me all my 3 ring binders!” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 "That Adam Jones, i'll tell you what. Now THAT'S an outstanding young man. I'd have a whole team of him if I could manage." "What's that ?? He did what ?? Can't be. Why I'm sure he was home with his pretty wife cutting the lawn or trimming the boxwoods." "He always was had meticulous attention to detail. Well, see if we can get him back in our outfit, things haven't been the same since he left." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted April 4, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2019 Splack! (Dentures fly across the breakfast table) "The AAF is folding up? Great googly moogly, Marvin's announcing job is kaput! We'll fit him back in, let's see, 'Special Assistant to the Director of Personnel'? 'Football Operations Quality Control Auditor'? 'League Liaison for Veteran Players Affairs'? Wait, I've got it! 'Director of College Scouting and Consultant to the GM If We Had One." Perfect. Welcome back Marvin! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsbengalsbucks Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 I heard Brett Favre is available, lets see if he will come in and try out for LB 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted April 16, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2019 "Who'd we draft? A lantern-jawed gunslinger? Is this a church?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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