COB Posted November 29, 2016 Report Share Posted November 29, 2016 We are keeping our kicker who seems, as kickers do, to have reached his expiration date in Cincinnati. Researching kickers, bringing them in for a tryout, shuttling them to and from the airport... sounds like a lot of work! We'll just stick with Mike. But he has to get better. I'm thinking maybe rub some essential oils on his foot, get him some of that Brett Favre copper underwear, cut down on carbs, and as a last resort maybe a complete colon cleanse like the one Oprah uses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stripes Posted November 29, 2016 Report Share Posted November 29, 2016 Give him a Snickers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoosierCat Posted November 29, 2016 Report Share Posted November 29, 2016 Since the season is already lost I say they do a special promotion. Every game random fans are selected to kick all extra points. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMPHAR Posted November 29, 2016 Report Share Posted November 29, 2016 Can't miss a PAT if you don't score a touchdown. Nugent fixed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted November 29, 2016 Report Share Posted November 29, 2016 Go for two on every TD and improve your odds at actually scoring points ?? If not that, than might I suggest a blindfold. I mean seeing the FG posts don't help, so maybe he could tap into the force and "feel" the FG posts before kicking. Odds are the results won't be much worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMPHAR Posted November 29, 2016 Report Share Posted November 29, 2016 Use the Force NUGE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoosierCat Posted November 29, 2016 Report Share Posted November 29, 2016 1 hour ago, AMPHAR said: Use the Force NUGE! His call sign is "Doink One". 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted November 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2016 Possibly some chemotherapy, and while he recovers Nuge can read a couple self help books. Should knock a few PATs down the middle after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted November 30, 2016 Report Share Posted November 30, 2016 I found this helpful website that maybe someone can forward to Nuge... http://www.wikihow.com/Kick-a-Field-Goal 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMPHAR Posted November 30, 2016 Report Share Posted November 30, 2016 1 hour ago, ArmyBengal said: I found this helpful website that maybe someone can forward to Nuge... http://www.wikihow.com/Kick-a-Field-Goal No joke. I watched his last miss on All 22. His follow through is all fucked up. The misses are clearly in his head and he's just throwing shit against the wall. I was joking somewhat but when the Bengals driving for the tie, it would have been real interesting if they would have gotten the TD and needing the PAT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoosierCat Posted November 30, 2016 Report Share Posted November 30, 2016 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingwilly Posted November 30, 2016 Report Share Posted November 30, 2016 Go for two. If you make 50%, the net is the same as PAT. But you do have to score a TD first. In other words, they're fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWPaBengal Posted December 6, 2016 Report Share Posted December 6, 2016 It's pretty obvious that Nuent does not follow through. His foot stops when he contacts the ball. Only other kicker that does that is Penn States kicker. But he's successful . 22 out of 24 this yr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMPHAR Posted December 6, 2016 Report Share Posted December 6, 2016 Nuge's PAT misses are beyond belief. He misses to the opposite side of where his leg ends up. Yet a FG from the same distance is no problem for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoosierCat Posted December 6, 2016 Report Share Posted December 6, 2016 It's all in his head. Which is a lot harder to fix than a leg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted December 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2016 Hypnotize him, tie him to a bed and do an exorcism, let Mike rub his very geriatric nut sack all over Nugent's kicking foot, encase a video of Nugent's missed kicks in concrete and throw it into the Ohio River, face reality and accept that Nuge is the victim of some sort of malevolent hex that can only be cured by tying him to 3 goats then throwing the whole contraption into a swamp, recruit a whole crapload of black lives matter protesters who will take over the student union until Nugent makes four consecutive PATs, have the whole team lift Nugent above their heads at midnight in PBS, chanting ten times, "Smitten, Battered, Beaten, Torn," instruct Nugent to go to the Steak 'N Shake on Colerain Avenue and go into the men's bathroom, loudly proclaim, "This is my declaration against evil! I now take authority over the kingdom of evil and missed PATs in the name of almight Joel Osteen, with this holy, powerful, supernatural flush I excersise dominion over the spiritual wickedness that inhabits all kicks under 30 yards." Then he flushes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMPHAR Posted December 6, 2016 Report Share Posted December 6, 2016 Again, stop scoring Touchdowns and you can't miss a PAT. Nuge is not to blame. Zampese and Dalton with their selfish stat padding are to blame. Team game assholes. A member of your "TEAM" isn't comfortable kicking PATs, so why would you do something to make it an issue? End Hateful playcalling and here's some hot coco. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted December 7, 2016 Report Share Posted December 7, 2016 Just always go for two. I promise he won't miss another PAT. Problem solved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GapControl Posted December 8, 2016 Report Share Posted December 8, 2016 On 12/7/2016 at 6:40 AM, COB said: On 12/7/2016 at 6:40 AM, COB said: Hypnotize him, tie him to a bed and do an exorcism, let Mike rub his very geriatric nut sack all over Nugent's kicking foot, encase a video of Nugent's missed kicks in concrete and throw it into the Ohio River, face reality and accept that Nuge is the victim of some sort of malevolent hex that can only be cured by tying him to 3 goats then throwing the whole contraption into a swamp Ok COB.... You are scaring the shit out of the Japanese here at the hot noodle soup bar. And it's your fault! They see a hairy, bigger than them pale face laughing hysterically for apparently know reason at the hot noodle soup.... When they call the cops out of sheer fear, I'm expecting bail money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJJackson Posted December 14, 2016 Report Share Posted December 14, 2016 F I X E D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted December 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2016 Nugent's cleaning out my gutters right now and says he'll give you guys all a good deal if you hire him before the first of the year. Straight cash, homies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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