Chad 24/7

[BTG]

Ewing Theory* for the win!

Or since it's football, the Tiki Barber Theory*.

* Both of these terms copyrighted by Bill Simmons.

[walzav29]

In case this wasn't posted.

http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d8...mp;confirm=true

[HoosierCat]

http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d8...mp;confirm=true

:nopity:

[walzav29]

We all know that he won't miss a game check. If he comes in for week 1, do you think any part of him will be humbled? He owes alot of apologies and you know what? That jerk did blow 2 games with drops. I forgot about that. SOB!

[HoosierCat]

We all know that he won't miss a game check.

Yup. I was doing some rough calculations last night and if he sat out camp and the season, the total in fines, lost pay, and bonus he has to give back came out to something north of $8 million. Oh, and his contract extends another year since '08 wouldn't count.

If he comes in for week 1, do you think any part of him will be humbled? He owes alot of apologies and you know what? That jerk did blow 2 games with drops. I forgot about that. SOB!

I think the Bengals could sell pay-per-view rights to have his first visit to the locker room televised.

[HairOnFire]

My conversation with Chad.

"I will take the criticism. I will stick by my guns, and I will not be there."

Best news I've heard in a month. So I guess the next time I see Mr Bojangles will be in 2009. Hopefully he'll show up with a new attitude, some concept of what it means to be a professional, and a new dog. (His old one up and died.)

"I feel things need to be done to make this team better. I don't blame Marvin Lewis. I love him. You have never heard me say one bad thing about my coaches or teammates."

So it's not the players and it's not the coaches. I guess the problem must be with the man who signs the PAYCHECKS, right?

"I know it's not up to Coach Lewis. Whether I'm traded, or if we get better players, is not up to him. If it was up to Coach Lewis, then he would do it."

Before a player starts pointing fingers he might consider his own level of play, and whether it's been up to the standards people have come to expect...as well as the level he's being paid. In both examples your play since mid-2007 has come up far short, and it was notably poor last season.

"What's changed for me is that I don't feel that we can compete."

See above.

"Look at Cleveland and what they are doing to win."

Despite a storm of injuries Cincy had a better defense last season than Cleveland did. In fact, the major difference in the two teams won/loss record is seen in the way the respective offensive stars performed. In Cleveland everyone who played stepped up big, and produced numbers that established or approached personal bests. In Cincy, everyone who wasn't named Houshmandzadeh took major steps backward.

"The Patriots and Indianapolis are going for a ring every year. When going for a ring, it all starts at the top. We need to do more and bring in more. We're staying the same."

No, they're not staying the same. The Bengal offense has been built around it's two best players, Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson, and both players were far from their top form last season.

"Yes, we have good players, but we need great players."

This team needs Chad Johnson to be a great football player, not a good player known more for shooting off his mouth or folding in critical moments. So step it up or step away from the soapbox.

"We need defense. They say the money is tied up on offense; I'm not buying it."

Then have your agent explain it to you. He's probably better at math than you.

"Look at others teams who are doing it, like Cleveland."

Maybe Brownie players will send you some Pepto Bismol to Chad this season. (Let's hope they have your home address.)

"(Last year) wasn't a good year for me, and it's killing me."

Point blank, you sucked.

"I asked my coaches, 'Is it me, or am I just that bad?"

And I'm betting they "had your back" by making excuses for your crappy play, right?

"I dropped balls against Buffalo and San Francisco that could have been game-changing plays. I was in tears trying to find answers to why I was playing so bad."

It's no mystery. You're mentally weak and emotionally unhinged. In fact, it's why you're attempting to quit on the team instead of doing whatever you could to improve your play...earn your paycheck...and become a leader.

"I've raised the bar so high that 1,400 yards, eight TDs are no longer enough."

Try leading the team in TD's scored for once. Try playing consistently. Try blocking for someone. Or if you can't manage any of these simple tasks....just get out of the way and stop being one of the least professional people in the known sporting world.

"I already know how the draft is going to play out. DT first, wide receiver second, DB third."

That works for me.

"But you can draft as many wide receivers as you want to, but you will never get another Chad."

That works for me too.

"I know I'm emotional, but I will give you everything I got."

Please, I'll take less. Specifically, less selfish play, less showboating, and less douchbaggery.

"I've lived for this game since I was 4 years old."

And apparently that's when you stopped growing emotionally.

"I don't drink, I don't smoke or get into trouble."

Maybe you should start. It might give you something to do other than staring into the mirror.

"On draft day 2001, I said to myself, 'Please don't let me go to a team that is already established."

Well done sir. To the lasting suprise of many you managed to transform yourself from a lplayer who would be drafted within the 12-15 range into a slip sliding 2nd rounder....proving the value of poor combine interviews and a bad time in the 40.

"I wanted to resurrect the team and the town. I play for the people who sat in those stands for 14 losing seasons and to restore the pride you once had of wearing Bengal stripes."

And as a Bengal fan I can confirm that there's nothing that says pride quite like fake gold teeth, a Mowhawk haircut, and a three and half month long bipolar rant about how you're underpaid & unappreciated.

"By September, I could be on someone's set shooting a movie."

But whose going to pitch underarm deodorant to your fans? Or how about those Fatheads?

"I'm currently working on projects."

I can't wait for your star turn in "Harold and Kumar Go to the SuperBowl" Who knows, it could do for your acting career what "Ace Ventura" did for Dan Marino.

"I could be doing my reality show, which is in the works."

Now that you mention it I think you'd be perfect in the old Anna Nicole time slot.

"I love a challenge, and I have projects before me that are challenging and will keep me busy and allow me to take care of myself without football."

I hear Flava Flav has a new sitcom and is looking for a new wacky neighbor character.

"So what you're telling me is that I can't eat without playing for you? That's a challenge."

I'm betting you could eat just fine. After all, you haven't played a single down under the terms of the last contract extension you signed. All you've done is pocket the upfront bonus money and then when the new contract was to take effect begin talking about quitting.

"I love this game and will give everything for it. I can't get married, because I'd get divorced from September to January."

Well, just hold out and your problems are solved. Just pick your very favorite baby momma and give her a ring. (Tell the other three they'll have to wait until your first wife divorces you and takes half of your pesos.)

"I'm too afraid to fail to allow anything to come before football."

Possible exceptions include, but aren't limited to:

A - Making movies with George Clooney

B - Acting in a new reality show

C - Racing against horses

D - Skating in the Ice Capades

E - Bojangling

"But now, my love of the game is being used against me."

Shut up. Earn your paycheck. And then shut up some more.

[BengalszoneBilly]

B - Acting in a new reality show

I can easily see Chad and Flavo Flav Gold Grillin' it together. They'd still have to fill half the show with canned laughs.

[HoosierCat]

I have to say Hair pretty much nailed it. More work than I'd bother to put in but clearly both of us have too much time on our hands. While I can agree with much of Chad's sentiments about the front office (Hair is unsurprised), I must say that, lo these many eight years and millions of dollars later, his sudden discovery that the FO sucks strikes me as a bit...convenient. Sorry Chad, you want to join the ranks of the Mikey haters, you are going to have to do a lot more to prove your bona-fides. (Note to Chad: a large deposit to my bank account can make all these issues go away...but of course it's not about he money...)

[jjakq27]

I have to say Hair pretty much nailed it. More work than I'd bother to put in but clearly both of us have too much time on our hands. While I can agree with much of Chad's sentiments about the front office (Hair is unsurprised), I must say that, lo these many eight years and millions of dollars later, his sudden discovery that the FO sucks strikes me as a bit...convenient. Sorry Chad, you want to join the ranks of the Mikey haters, you are going to have to do a lot more to prove your bona-fides. (Note to Chad: a large deposit to my bank account can make all these issues go away...but of course it's not about he money...)

Hoos, I've spotted a typo. I highlighted it. I know you couldn't have typed that.

BTW, nice job Hair.

PS: You left out filming more deodorant commercials and creating webpages on Chad's to-do list. Also is Chad the most complicated, contorted and disorienting person to listen to or read about anymore?

[COB]

"I've raised the bar so high that 1,400 yards, eight TDs are no longer enough."

This confirms my suspicion that Chad wants big player money, but big player pressure is too much for him.

"I'm currently working on projects."

Again, the hubris that develops in freakishly talented athletes. All their lives, they've done a very difficult thing with complete ease. Naturally they assume everything else is that easy. Life eventually has its hard way with all of us.

"I could be doing my reality show, which is in the works."

I've been under the impression that he's pretty much been doing a reality show for the last six months. But the only people benfitting from it are the folks at ESPN and the NFL Network. Chad gets ratings and sells ad time. For other people.

[HairOnFire]

Update:

Earlier this morning Chris Mortenson claimed the Redskins had spoken to the Bengals this morning about trading for Chad and were "shut down".

Moments ago Drew Rosenhaus claimed a team had offered the Bengals two firm 1st round picks for Chad and were told the Bengals weren't interested in any trade. Rosenhaus refused to say whether the offer was made by the Redskins or a new team joining the circus. He closed by saying he still hoped Chad would be traded, but admitted there are worse things than playing for a team that wants to keep you as badly as the Bengals had proved.

[kurgan74]

After finally reading the artice on NFL.com it is obvious Chad does not really want out. He wants

a commitment to winning from the front office. I do believe the front office is making strides at this point.

If the draft goes well and the Defense is given new tools, I expect Chad's complaints to lessen.

However, if the Cowboys are offering 22 & 28 for Chad (doubtful) the team has to take the trade.

If they do get that kind of offer, imagine a 1st round like # 9 Mendenhall or Elli/Dorsey, #22 Stewart/Balmer/Jones,

and at 28 Dan Connor/Kenny Phillips.

WHO-DEY

[BengalszoneBilly]

Update:

Earlier this morning Chris Mortenson claimed the Redskins had spoken to the Bengals this morning about trading for Chad and were "shut down".

Moments ago Drew Rosenhaus claimed a team had offered the Bengals two firm 1st round picks for Chad and were told the Bengals weren't interested in any trade. Rosenhaus refused to say whether the offer was made by the Redskins or a new team joining the circus. He closed by saying he still hoped Chad would be traded, but admitted there are worse things than playing for a team that wants to keep you as badly as the Bengals had proved.

HELL YEAH!! It sounds as though Drew might be wavering in his bid to drive Chad to be traded! Stand strong and the tide shall turn!

[jjakq27]

Update:

Earlier this morning Chris Mortenson claimed the Redskins had spoken to the Bengals this morning about trading for Chad and were "shut down".

Moments ago Drew Rosenhaus claimed a team had offered the Bengals two firm 1st round picks for Chad and were told the Bengals weren't interested in any trade. Rosenhaus refused to say whether the offer was made by the Redskins or a new team joining the circus. He closed by saying he still hoped Chad would be traded, but admitted there are worse things than playing for a team that wants to keep you as badly as the Bengals had proved.

Later there was some discussion on the show that Chad would have to give back $5M of his signing bonus and they would have to cut Rudi in order to absorb the cap hit. If it was straight up with out all of the contingencies then OK. But I think it was too much too swallow when you add that stuff in.

[TJJackson]

While it's not entirely impossible (merely highly improbable) that Chad would return some of his signing bonus

1) it would not help the cap....refunded cash does not impact cap hits

2) there's no way such a thing could have been arranged, especially given all the bridges Fy Dollah and Rosenturd have burned, before the draft. The two dirtbags are not yet desperate enough, and frankly, since the truth is that this IS all about the money despite their frequent protestations otherwise, that's probably last on the list of concessions they might be willing to make to get a trade done.

[jjakq27]

While it's not entirely impossible (merely highly improbable) that Chad would return some of his signing bonus

1) it would not help the cap....refunded cash does not impact cap hits

2) there's no way such a thing could have been arranged, especially given all the bridges Fy Dollah and Rosenturd have burned, before the draft. The two dirtbags are not yet desperate enough, and frankly, since the truth is that this IS all about the money despite their frequent protestations otherwise, that's probably last on the list of concessions they might be willing to make to get a trade done.

Yeah I was wondering about the $5M thing too. I didn't think it was applicable either unless they somehow restructure his contract but I don't know enough about it to know if that is allowable.

I've got a feeling that the June 1 thing might still be a possibility. Marvin and even Mike have a lot riding on this season. The question is are we better with an unhappy Chad or better without any Chad. It's a tough call.

[HairOnFire]

I've read Merril Hoge claimed the trade offer was indeed from the Redskins so the two first round picks would have been split between this draft and the following year. Apparently Hoge went on to claim the Bengals were satisfied with the draft pick compensation but demanded a veteran player the Redskins weren't willing to part with.

((Shrug))