Jump to content

Mike Brown Thought of the Day


COB
 Share

Recommended Posts

"I keep hearing about the draft and I keep telling them to buy one of those things that slide under your door to block it."
"Don't people watch "As seen on TV" ??  Why do I feel like the smartest guy in the room right now."
"Who needs you scouts ??  You are fired.  Order one for every door in the place and we will solve this draft problem right now."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

"Alright Pumpkin, I decided to get into social media to help us in scouting the future men of this organization".
"I'm not quite sure I'm doing this right however".
"I told the app thingy I wanted men who were big, strong, and real take charge kind of guys".

"Next thing you know I was flooded with responses from these young men wanting me to send wrinkled raisin pics".
"Not only that, I think they thought I was talking about baseball because they asked if I liked to pitch or catch?"
"I know there are hand and arm measurements, but we must measure penises nowadays for all the photos I received."

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Great googly moogly, I’m just on this tv phone trying to buy sock garters, and I’m assaulted by suggestions of unnatural, deviant, behavior.  Well, I’ll just do a google thing for refurbished trusses, that should turn out a bit better.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“I’ll just type-message TJ’s granny on my tv phone thing.  There, just asked her to cam him down.  Well, she answered with a photo, I’ll just open that up... GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!”  Begins laborious process of unbuckling complex series of trusses.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

“I’m immortal.  I’ll live forever.  There’s no other reasonable explanation for this.  I’m a Highlander!”

Adjusts speed control on Rascal Freedom Power Wheelchair ($1,498.20 at Sam’s Club), drives to kitchen to get some warm milk.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“There can be only one!”

/Sets Rascal Freedom Power Wheelchair ($1,498.20 at Sam’s Club) to medium speed, raises CPAP device threateningly above head, advances at a moderate pace down hallway of Indian Hills McMansion/

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 8 months later...

Splack!  (Dentures fly across pallet of hoarded Charming Ultra Soft) 

“Someone bring me the 3 ring binder on our three dollar wet pretzel promotion!  Gonna have to tweak it with this Cobra 19 flu going around!

(Falls asleep, startles self awake). “The wet pretzel!  Ha ha!  When TJ’s Granny and I got together back in the day, we did a little something we liked to call the wet pretzel, ha ha!  You’re ***damn right we did!”

Katie: “Dad!  For gosh sakes stop it, Father O’Hanrahan is here to talk about our Easter Jubilee contribution!”

Father O’Hanrahan:  “The wet pretzel, did you say Mike?  Hmmmm...” (Strokes chin thoughtfully.)

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

“Pumpkin, get in here”
”I had Troy check in over at that Bengalszone place to see what those idiots are spouting off about”.

”He reported back that the TJ Jackhole fella kept piping in with GIMME A LINEMAN”.

”3 linebackers, count’em 1-2-3. BWAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA !!!”

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

TROY !!!!

Get this Covid guy on the line.  Who the hell does he think he is thinking about shutting down the season ??
Lets plan on scheduling a meet and greet with him.  Maybe throw some cheese coneys down his throat and change his mind.
We have to convince this guy how serious we are for this season.  Maybe get old Kenny Anderson to join us or maybe Ickey can do that silly dance.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...

Splack!   (Dentures fly across the breakfast table)

“What?  The Enquirer (one day old day edition, free at the side door of Seven Hills Kroger) says we traded Carlos?  We’re out from under that contract?  Great googly moogly!”

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...