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gregstephens

'Here Lies Ryan Fitzpatrick...'

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Not because I am a negative person, but thanks to preyer's suggestion on another thread, I'd like to start the 'Ryan Fitzpatrick epitaph' contest. Assuming he plays Sunday, and I'll be shocked if he doesn't, how does the epitaph read after Sunday's game?

Winner gets a date with Billy's signature hottie (jk).

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Here lies Ryan Fitzpatrick...despite a Harvard education, he still wasn't smart enough to avoid playing for Mike Brown. A beautiful mind is a terrible thing to waste.

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Here Lies Ryan Fitzpatrick...who'd like to thank his five pall-bearers for putting him here in the first place.

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"Here lies Ryan Fitzpatrick. Levi Jones is just now beginning to turn outside to engage the Defensive End."

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RYAN FITZPATRICK

November 24, 1982 - October 5, 2008

Tragically crushed to death by Eric Ghaicuic, who tripped over his own two feet and inadvertently pancaked himself onto Fitz during the post-game celebration of the Bengals 28-27 upset win against Dallas.

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"Here lies Ryan Fitzpatrick...Fitzpatrick died today from a sexually transmitted disease he received from his center, Eric Ghiacic who also has now passed. It is believed Fitzpatrick obtained the disease after Ghiacic was repeatedly knocked back into Fitzpatrick by defensive tackles. On his death bed, Fitzpatrick told family members, "I didn't even know I was even gay...and make sure you sue the hell out of Under Armor, because that cup didn't protect me at all!"

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There once was a Bengal named Ryan

A forward pass he'd been tryin'

When his body was wrecked

(You could say "Guy-checked")

Now it's Palmer's turn to be cryin'.

----- or -----

Fitzgerald was their quarterback

When they faced the Dallas attack

A great mind he had

his arm wasn't bad

It was an O-Line that he lacked

(or.. He died on their tenth sack)

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RIP Ryan Fitzpatrick, the Mick from the Crimson yard of Cambridge,

he played some ball in the Fall, struggled with the ball and was carried

off the hallowed Dallas yard, dripping Crimson from giving his all.

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Here Lies Ryan Fitzpatrick - he was killed in Dallas today when his brain was knocked out of his skull by an unblocked linebacker who came from behind a grassy knoll. Or it could have been through a sponge of an O-line.

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Here lies Ryan Fitzgeral'

Little did he no his peril

They say he was smart

from this earth he did part

'cause Mike Brown is a freaking idiot.

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

What??? You want rhymes???

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There once was a Bengal named Ryan

A forward pass he'd been tryin'

When his body was wrecked

(You could say "Guy-checked")

Now it's Palmer's turn to be cryin'.

----- or -----

Fitzgerald was their quarterback

When they faced the Dallas attack

A great mind he had

his arm wasn't bad

It was an O-Line that he lacked

(or.. He died on their tenth sack)

Excellent.

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There once was a Bengal named Ryan

A forward pass he'd been tryin'

When his body was wrecked

(You could say "Guy-checked")

Now it's Palmer's turn to be cryin'.

----- or -----

Fitzgerald was their quarterback

When they faced the Dallas attack

A great mind he had

his arm wasn't bad

It was an O-Line that he lacked

(or.. He died on their tenth sack)

Excellent.

Winner gets a date with Billy's signature hottie (jk).

Do I win??? :P

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Here lies Ryan Fitzpatrick, "I told you we would be the Cowboys...."

Just a little Norm MacDonald type comedy there for ya.

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Here lies Ryan Fitzgeral'

Little did he no his peril

They say he was smart

from this earth he did part

'cause Mike Brown is a freaking idiot.

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

What??? You want rhymes???

Uh, Fitzpatrick...........Fitzgerald is our LB's Coach.

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Here lies Ryan Fitzgeral'

Little did he no his peril

They say he was smart

from this earth he did part

'cause Mike Brown is a freaking idiot.

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

What??? You want rhymes???

Uh, Fitzpatrick...........Fitzgerald is our LB's Coach.

yeah....but it doesn't rhyme

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