KingWilly r1-3 mock

[kingwilly]

r1 - 24 - Corey Coleman - WR Baylor

r2 - 55 - Kendall Fuller - CB Virginia Tech

r3 - 87 - Nick Martin  - C/G Notre Dame

it may be dreaming to think Coleman will fall but perhaps they can move up, they do have AJ McCarron, Hunt,  as trade bait. moving up to 15, doing deal with Rams, giving them AJ and a '17 r1 or r2 pick might do it?  I'm no expert on the draft trade points system...

[HoosierCat]

Hunt as trade bait? Fish bait I'd say.

I've seen Fuller mocked to Cincy in the first, not sure he will drop that far but who knows?

I'll be very interested to see if they take a G early. Would suggest they aren't high on paying Zeitler.

[kingwilly]

4 minutes ago, HoosierCat said:

Hunt as trade bait? Fish bait I'd say.

I've seen Fuller mocked to Cincy in the first, not sure he will drop that far but who knows?

I'll be very interested to see if they take a G early. Would suggest they aren't high on paying Zeitler.

Fuller didn't throw up r1 numbers, so I think he could be there in r2. I see the versatility of Martin more as insurance for Bodine, rather than a hit on Zeitler.

The WR spot is my current big concern. Sanu and Jones leave quite a hole. none of the FA get me excited. most either old, or have warts.

[HoosierCat]

Yeah, and the draft is weak at WR. Marvin's track record at the position doesn't fill me with confidence either.

 

[Walrus]

Well Hoosier, get ready for 2 picks to be spent on wideout, one coming in the 1st or 2nd, one probably in the 7th.

Willy, I like the picks, but all of these guys could well be gone by the time # 55 comes up. I agree WR is a good way to go at 24 - there's going to be someone sitting there who can come in and start for us. I also like interior OL in the 3rd. Hoping to see 1-2 d-linemen and a fast linebacker and would prefer one of those at 55, but obviously a DB also fills a need...

[TJJackson]

first 4 picks should come from, in no particular order: pass rushing DT, CB, coverage LB, WR

if you dont see a WR with one of those picks, take that to mean they have more confidence in Alford and/or Wright (or Tate, ROTF) stepping up than we do

I personally would like to see a PK taken in r6 or r7 this year

[BengalszoneBilly]

I doubt McCarron will be traded. At least I hope not.

[HoosierCat]

First four picks should be WR. Picks 5-7 also WR. Then sign 7-10 UDFA WRs.

maybe we manage to find one good one.

[TJJackson]

or we just ask the Browns to outright release BabyHawk so we can re-sign him

Given the way they are currently letting FAs walk away, it just might work

[COB]

On 3/11/2016 at 10:29 PM, TJJackson said:

or we just ask the Browns to outright release BabyHawk so we can re-sign him

Given the way they are currently letting FAs walk away, it just might work

I'm currently dressed as a derelict vagrant, sitting on the sidewalk in front of the 7-11 in Berea, Ohio, a quarter mile from Browns headquarters.  Their rich hillbilly owner stops here every day on the way to work.  When he pulls up I'm going to bark like an idiot in the dog pound, then I'm going to tell him to release BabyHawk.  Homeless alcoholic advice is the only advice Haslem listens to.  

To make it more realistic I've sucked down like 3 Forties of St. Ides.  I'll puke on myself pretty soon, so if he holds off 20 minutes or so, he'll be presented with an image he can't resist.  

[TJJackson]

O U T S T A N D I N G  W O R K

post of the year, COB :-)

edit: uhm, everyone in the office is wondering why I busted out laughing.......damn you COB

[HoosierCat]

I lost it at " 3 Forties of St. Ides."

[COB]

Well, the visit from Haslem didn’t go exactly as planned.

I was sitting on the sidewalk and he pulls up in his S-Class Mercedes.  He gets out and takes like 3 seconds to puff his chest out before he walked to the store. 

I go, “Hey, down here!  Mr. Haslem!  I’m a huge Browns fan and I want you to cut Hawkins.  He’s dead weight with a capital W!”

Haslem said, “My God, is it you?  I haven’t seen you since you told me to draft Johnny Football.  Damn, you’re a mess, son.  You look like someone I’d punch at a Donald Trump rally.  Eh, looks like you vomited on your Browns sweatshirt there.”

I said, “Hey it happens.  I puked ‘cause I was thinking about all those crap plays Hawkins blew last year.  Cut that loser and we headed for the Super Bowl!  I’m a Browns Believer!  Uurrrgggghh. [Barfed a little more after saying that]”

Haslem goes, “Damn!  You’re just the right person to give me football advice!  You’re a homeless vagrant, your drunk, you’re a minority, your pants are unzipped, and of course you’re a Browns fan.  Fuck.  I can’t just cut him though.  My dadgum Dad is making me use sabermetrics to make all my football decisions.  He saw some ***damn movie about baseball and now he’s making me let these baseball accountant guys make all the decisions.  He bought me the team so I can’t say shit.”  His cell phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket and said, “Wait I gotta answer this.”

I said, “Damn, is that a Duck Dynasty cellphone?  What the fuck?”

He goes, “Yea, those guys are great aren’t they?’

Then he blabbed on the phone for a while, saying the stuff rich businessmen say, like, “core competency,” and “analytics,” and “fulfillment issues,” and “monetize,” and “teenage pussy.”

He hangs up his phone and goes, “Where were we?  Oh yea, I can’t fire any more players or whatever its called.  The baseball guys do that now.  Good talking to you again.  Can’t believe we missed on Johnny.  Just loves the firewater too much, I guess.”

I said, “Ok thanks.  Go Browns.  Woof!  Like I’m in the dog pound, know what I mean?  Uurrrggghhh. [Barfed a little more].  Hey, one last thing, I didn’t know they made nekkid lady mud flaps small enough to fit on a Mercedes.  Where’d you get those?”

He said, “Damn!  Good eye, son.  I manufacture those, and we sell them at my dad’s truck stops.  We make ‘em in all sizes now.  Even got ‘em in extra small so you can put ‘em on your daughter’s Barbie Jeep.  I’m building my own business empire on nekkid lady mud flaps!  Gonna build a giant company then tell my dad to fuck off and take the ***damn Cleveland Browns with him.”

I’m like, “What?”

Haslam goes, “You think I want this shit heap franchise?  I wanted to own the Steelers, but my dad was like, ‘We can’t get the Steelers son, the Browns is the best we can do.’  So I just said fuck it, give them to me and I’ll Steelerize them using all my experience from when I was part owner of the Steelers.  Steelerization is in process, but these things take time, I guess.  Damn, son, that sweatshirt’s gonna need bleach or something.”

Then he went in the store to get his coffee.  When he came out and was getting in his car, I asked him, “Hey, think you could fix up my shopping cart here that contains all my worldly goods?”

He looked at it and said, “Damn, son!  That’s a whole unserved market!  I’m gonna call the business development people right now!  We’ll own the market.  You’ll be seeing little nekkid lady mud flaps on every homeless vagrant’s shopping cart.  Good work son!  You’ve cancelled out the Johnny Football miss!”

He got in his car and yelled out the window, “See you at the stadium!”  Then blared the horn as he tore out of the parking lot.  The clerk from the 7-11 was standing outside by then, and he said, “That dude actually put a Dukes of Hazzard horn on his Mercedes?  What the fuck.”

[HoosierCat]

LMAO. Genius as always.

[kingwilly]

9 hours ago, COB said:

Well, the visit from Haslem didn’t go exactly as planned.

I was sitting on the sidewalk and he pulls up in his S-Class Mercedes.  He gets out and takes like 3 seconds to puff his chest out before he walked to the store. 

I go, “Hey, down here!  Mr. Haslem!  I’m a huge Browns fan and I want you to cut Hawkins.  He’s dead weight with a capital W!”

Haslem said, “My God, is it you?  I haven’t seen you since you told me to draft Johnny Football.  Damn, you’re a mess, son.  You look like someone I’d punch at a Donald Trump rally.  Eh, looks like you vomited on your Browns sweatshirt there.”

I said, “Hey it happens.  I puked ‘cause I was thinking about all those crap plays Hawkins blew last year.  Cut that loser and we headed for the Super Bowl!  I’m a Browns Believer!  Uurrrgggghh. [Barfed a little more after saying that]”

Haslem goes, “Damn!  You’re just the right person to give me football advice!  You’re a homeless vagrant, your drunk, you’re a minority, your pants are unzipped, and of course you’re a Browns fan.  Fuck.  I can’t just cut him though.  My dadgum Dad is making me use sabermetrics to make all my football decisions.  He saw some ***damn movie about baseball and now he’s making me let these baseball accountant guys make all the decisions.  He bought me the team so I can’t say shit.”  His cell phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket and said, “Wait I gotta answer this.”

I said, “Damn, is that a Duck Dynasty cellphone?  What the fuck?”

He goes, “Yea, those guys are great aren’t they?’

Then he blabbed on the phone for a while, saying the stuff rich businessmen say, like, “core competency,” and “analytics,” and “fulfillment issues,” and “monetize,” and “teenage pussy.”

He hangs up his phone and goes, “Where were we?  Oh yea, I can’t fire any more players or whatever its called.  The baseball guys do that now.  Good talking to you again.  Can’t believe we missed on Johnny.  Just loves the firewater too much, I guess.”

I said, “Ok thanks.  Go Browns.  Woof!  Like I’m in the dog pound, know what I mean?  Uurrrggghhh. [Barfed a little more].  Hey, one last thing, I didn’t know they made nekkid lady mud flaps small enough to fit on a Mercedes.  Where’d you get those?”

He said, “Damn!  Good eye, son.  I manufacture those, and we sell them at my dad’s truck stops.  We make ‘em in all sizes now.  Even got ‘em in extra small so you can put ‘em on your daughter’s Barbie Jeep.  I’m building my own business empire on nekkid lady mud flaps!  Gonna build a giant company then tell my dad to fuck off and take the ***damn Cleveland Browns with him.”

I’m like, “What?”

Haslam goes, “You think I want this shit heap franchise?  I wanted to own the Steelers, but my dad was like, ‘We can’t get the Steelers son, the Browns is the best we can do.’  So I just said fuck it, give them to me and I’ll Steelerize them using all my experience from when I was part owner of the Steelers.  Steelerization is in process, but these things take time, I guess.  Damn, son, that sweatshirt’s gonna need bleach or something.”

Then he went in the store to get his coffee.  When he came out and was getting in his car, I asked him, “Hey, think you could fix up my shopping cart here that contains all my worldly goods?”

He looked at it and said, “Damn, son!  That’s a whole unserved market!  I’m gonna call the business development people right now!  We’ll own the market.  You’ll be seeing little nekkid lady mud flaps on every homeless vagrant’s shopping cart.  Good work son!  You’ve cancelled out the Johnny Football miss!”

He got in his car and yelled out the window, “See you at the stadium!”  Then blared the horn as he tore out of the parking lot.  The clerk from the 7-11 was standing outside by then, and he said, “That dude actually put a Dukes of Hazzard horn on his Mercedes?  What the fuck.”

Nice

[HoosierCat]

I'm looking forward to the sequel in which our derelict vagrant hangs out in front of the GOP convention in Cleveland and gives Donald Trump advice on his VP pick.

[redsbengalsbucks]

Well this thread has hit bottom.