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1st Round: Tyler Eifert


ArmyBengal

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1367185819' post='396215']

Gresh is a FA in 2015, so they've got him for two more years. I agree, he could be expendable. Drafting Eifert was a wake-up call for Jermaine, who could easily find himself on the trade block next year.

That said, Kaz is right, Eifert brings WR skills to the position and can line up as a TE, slot receiver or on the outside. He has AJ Green-like ability to go up and find the ball. If you dig up Diggy's (Emory Hunt's) TE preview on youtube he attributes Eifert's lack of YAC to having to constantly locate and adjust to bad throws from ND's QB. If you're on the Andy Dalton sucks train, then Tyler is your guy.

This is a good pick.

One of the positives for Eifert was his game in the Championship vs Alabama and specifically Dee Milliner who was a top ten pick. Eifert won every contested pass.

I hope Gresham improves in the clutch but if not I am ok with Eifert being the eventual No. 1.

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  • 3 weeks later...

/>http://nfl.si.com/2013/05/17/tyler-eifert-bengals-pairing-could-be-mutually-beneficial/?sct=uk_wr_a1

I love the first two comments:

DamienW

16 hours ago

What is this, an advertisement by his agent?

Franky123

21 hours ago

That's it? What was the point of writing an article about stuff everybody already knows? It contained no new information. Nothing interesting at all. This guy should be made to blow a hobo as punishment.

Also, am I the only one who initially read the name of the columns as "A Dibles"? For some reason that struck me as a great name for a character in my next novel (which would also be my first novel...). Tony Dibles, who tells everyone his name is Anthony "Di-blaze" in an effort to pass himself off as a member of the elite, but secretly spends his nights blowing hobos.

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in an effort to pass himself off as a member of the elite, but secretly spends his nights blowing hobos.

As far as I know, that's what the elite spend their nights doing anyway, so Di-blaze is pretty much nailing it. I think I've already got your plot sketched out for you. Di-blaze becomes a motivational speaker. The main theme in his speeches? He tells everyone that we're all functionally slaves to the rich and powerful, so try to enjoy it, and if you can't, at least act like you enjoy it. Then when they suck out your brain to use in their brain-fueled martini and caviar factory, you won't feel so bad. You'll just say, "ah, this figures." He also has a record-selling dvd series called, "Cleveland Smells Like Dead Animals."

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Love the plot, COB. In fact, I'm thinking I just skip the whole writing the novel thing and go straight to optioning the movie rights. "Network" meets "Soylent Green" with a dash of "The Three Faces of Eve." And hobo hummers.

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