Chad Gets Naked For Umpteenth Time

[HairOnFire]

Associated Press

NEW YORK — Chad Ochocinco is baring it all — almost — in a new anti-fur ad for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Wearing nothing but a carefully placed football, the outspoken Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver has his tattoos on full display as part of PETA's "Ink, Not Mink" campaign. The ad will debut Friday.

Ochocinco calls himself an avid animal lover. He's certainly comfortable with exposure, with his reality shows, frequent tweets and "Dancing With the Stars" appearance.

PETA says the football in the photo is made from synthetic material, not leather.

—Copyright 2010 Associated Press

[Trevor]

get dat pigeon

[HoosierCat]

One of the best things about spending the Nineties as JoiseyCat was NYC morning radio.

Specifically, Howard Stern.

From Fartman to the Lesbian Dating Game to Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling to ba-ba-boey the horse-toothed jackass, Howard never got old. At least to me. Of course, I'm easily amused. Not everyone liked him.

In the movie "Private Parts," there's a scene in which his NBC boss, "Pig Vomit," is going over the numbers for his show. As it turns out, the folks that like him listen for an average of something like 43 minutes. The reason? "They want to hear what he'll say next." The people that hate him? They listen for like an hour and 43 minutes. Why? "They want to hear what he'll say next."

I bring this up only to say thanks, Hair. I don't care what Chad does outside of the Bengals. I've never watched any of his shows, never followed his twitter feed, didn't buy his cereal, etc. If it was not for your constant, diligent, endless efforts to keep us here at Bengalszone informed on Chad's doings, I -- and I'm sure many others -- would not have any idea of his day-to-day, hour-to-hour, moment-to-moment activities.

So, uh, props.

[HairOnFire]

I bring this up only to say thanks, Hair. I don't care what Chad does outside of the Bengals. I've never watched any of his shows, never followed his twitter feed, didn't buy his cereal, etc. If it was not for your constant, diligent, endless efforts to keep us here at Bengalszone informed on Chad's doings, I -- and I'm sure many others -- would not have any idea of his day-to-day, hour-to-hour, moment-to-moment activities.

So, uh, props.

Right back at ya'. Because empty excuse making guys like yourself help me better understand what it means to be an enabler.

So, uh, props.

BTW, in your post you seem to be bragging about how uninformed you are. Is that really boast worthy?

[HoosierCat]

BTW, in your post you seem to be bragging about how uninformed you are. Is that really boast worthy?

I dunno, is "obsess over wide receivers I hate" a line likely to appear on your next resume?

[HairOnFire]

Some idiot blogger at CincyJungle recently wrote this nugget...

"And so my suggestion to all Bengals fans is this: laugh. We’ve tried everything else. Knowing the circumstances under which Lewis must labor, I have tried to be tried to be understanding, supportive and patient since his 2003 arrival. I’m done with that. With Lewis on the cusp of returning the team to the same 2-14 basement in which he found it, yukking it up is the only strategy left."

I mention the above only because that same idiot blogger is now trying to tell me what I can laugh at and what I can't.

[HoosierCat]

Oh, by all means, laugh (and thanks for reading!). I just can't fathom why you spend so much time chasing after news about someone you say you can't stand.

If this board is at all representative of Bengals fan opinion, it appears most Bengals fans would rather Chad take a long walk off a short pier. Or, to put it in Army's ever-delicate terms, f**k YOU, CHAD!!!!

Yet only one of them can be counted on to make a new Chad-bashing thread here, no matter how trivial the circumstances, any time his name pops up in the press.

To quote that idiot blogger at Cincyjungle, who cares?

[HairOnFire]

I dunno, is "obsess over wide receivers I hate" a line likely to appear on your next resume?

I'm self-employed, I already have more money than I could spend in three lifetimes, and I'm never going to run for public office.

Why would I ever need a resume?

[ArmyBengal]

If this board is at all representative of Bengals fan opinion, it appears most Bengals fans would rather Chad take a long walk off a short pier. Or, to put it in Army's ever-delicate terms, f**k YOU, CHAD!!!!

It's nice to be recognized !!!

I already have more money than I could spend in three lifetimes

Care to donate to the "Soon to be retired Soldier who doesn't have a job yet, but is managing a mortgage, wife, son, and another on the way" fund ??

[HairOnFire]

Oh, by all means, laugh (and thanks for reading!).

I'd say you're welcome but that would imply I found your musings to be worthwhile.

I just can't fathom why you spend so much time chasing after news about someone you say you can't stand.

Are you serious? How much time do you think it takes to Google the word BENGAL? And how often do you think a search like that will result in still another example of Chad being an asshat?

To quote that idiot blogger at Cincyjungle, who cares?

I care. In fact, I'd say anyone who bothers to scream f**k Chad cares. Furthermore, I'm guessing even the idiot blogger from CincyJungle cares, and for proof I'll point to his seemingly endless stream of excuses in regards to the very thing he claims to care nothing about.

Yet only one of them can be counted on to make a new Chad-bashing thread here, no matter how trivial the circumstances, any time his name pops up in the press.

Well, like the idiot blogger said, the best way to cope with something this hopeless is to laugh at it. And that's exactly what I'm doing. Furthermore, I don't start new Chad-bashing threads as often as I could. For example, I've written absolutely nothing about pregnant pigeons.

I got yo bird.

grabs crotch/glares

[volcom69]

For Chads offseason....... His debut with Playgirl, and spending his summer at the playboy mansion, yet missing another Offseason workouts

[jjakq27]

For Chads offseason....... His debut with Playgirl, and spending his summer at the playboy mansion, yet missing another Offseason workouts

...as he prepares for his new team, the Carolina Panthers.

Seriously, when he gets married, what's his wife's last name gonna be? Mrs. Ocho Cinco? Mrs. Johnson? Mrs. Cinco de Mayo? Or does she keep her own name?

[BengalszoneBilly]

For Chads offseason....... His debut with Playgirl, and spending his summer at the playboy mansion, yet missing another Offseason workouts

...as he prepares for his new team, the Carolina Panthers.

Seriously, when he gets married, what's his wife's last name gonna be? Mrs. Ocho Cinco? Mrs. Johnson? Mrs. Cinco de Mayo? Or does she keep her own name?

She'd be crazy not to keep her name.

[COB]

Chad will do anything to stay in the news. Taking his clothes off, a hallmark move by attention whores who have no real skills or ability, is an old trick he resorts to when nothing else is working.

Maybe a few more pictures of he and T.O. with the batmobile?

His "engagement" is probably fraudulent. He get engaged to another reality tv personality, and it is immediately announced that they have a reality show in the works. It is probably not a real engagement, no real marriage will occcur, Chad is not a real football player, his total act is a complete fraud, and I hope he gets run out of Cincinnati 2 seconds after the gun goes off at the end of this season's last game.

[HairOnFire]

Chad will do anything to stay in the news. Taking his clothes off, a hallmark move by attention whores who have no real skills or ability, is an old trick he resorts to when nothing else is working.

I'm guessing a sex tape will be next. Because that's what a Kardashian would do.

His "engagement" is probably fraudulent. He get engaged to another reality tv personality, and it is immediately announced that they have a reality show in the works.

Yup. And it's a good bet the much discussed 10-carat ring is on loan from a jeweler who wants publicity. And it's an even better bet the bride will later pretend to lose the ring rather than return it. Because that's what Courtney Love would do.

...Chad is not a real football player...

That's debatable I guess. What isn't debatable though is the idea that Chad is already more focused on life after football than actually playing football. And there's the rub because everytime someone writes about one of Chad's distractions, including those that occur during the season, the same idiot blogger starts popping off about how unconcerned he is and how we should all shut up.

....I hope he gets run out of Cincinnati 2 seconds after the gun goes off at the end of this season's last game.

I agree completely, but even if it happens in the way you describe it would still be three years and 2 seconds too late, IMHO.

[HoosierCat]

And there's the rub because everytime someone writes about one of Chad's distractions, including those that occur during the season, the same idiot blogger starts popping off about how unconcerned he is and how we should all shut up.

Where did I say you should shut up? All I said was that I find it amazing how much time you put into something you dislike. But that said, I would submit that if you want to talk about "enabling," you're doing far more of it than me these days simply by giving him any attention. Guys like Chad love the haters just as much as the fans, because no attention is bad attention in their book. The only thing they can't stand is being ignored.

[HairOnFire]

Where did I say you should shut up?

Well, isn't that exactly what you've been doing for about three years running by constantly complaining about the way I start f**k Chad threads? According to you I'm the only one who bothers with that type of stuff, right?

All I said was that I find it amazing how much time you put into something you dislike.

Again, ask yourself how much time it takes to do a Google search for Bengal related news. A couple of seconds at most, right? Then another minute or two to read the articles, and if deemed worthy of posting another minute or two to start a new thread. Less if I simply add the blurb to an existing thread. Finally, add a couple of seconds more if I've included a joke like...."Uses Football To Hide Tiny Cock"

So we're talking about a couple of minutes at the most, right? Now let me ask you how long it took you to write a crapfest like LolBengals? How long did it take you to write an article where you do nothing but profess how little you still care, how all of your hope is gone, how pointless it is to discuss actual team related news, and how all a Bengal fan can do at this point is laugh?

But that said, I would submit that if you want to talk about "enabling," you're doing far more of it than me these days simply by giving him any attention.

Bulls**t. The very reason Chad can get away with treating football like an afterthought is because people like you see no harm in his actions. In fact, you've gone so far as to argue that Chad's decision to deliberately tank an entire season was no big deal because the team wasn't going to be any good regardless. That's flat out stupid.

Guys like Chad love the haters just as much as the fans, because no attention is bad attention in their book. The only thing they can't stand is being ignored.

Fine. I'm a hater. I won't deny it. In fact, I embrace the title. Because doing so means I'm a little less clueless than those of you who hide your head in the sand and then assume your ass isn't showing.

[HoosierCat]

But that said, I would submit that if you want to talk about "enabling," you're doing far more of it than me these days simply by giving him any attention.

Bulls**t. The very reason Chad can get away with treating football like an afterthought is because people like you see no harm in his actions.

Bulls**t. The reason Chad can get away with treating football like an afterthought is that Mike Brown still pays him to be on the roster despite his antics. And he'll do that regardless of what you, I or anyone thinks, because he doesn't give a rat's ass about public opinion. However, the reason Chad has anything to do outside of football is that people keep responding to his shtick.

[HairOnFire]

Bulls**t. The reason Chad can get away with treating football like an afterthought is that Mike Brown still pays him to be on the roster despite his antics.

And why wouldn't he when three out of four of us are so stupid that we actually want the Bengals to bring him back next season? Why wouldn't he let Chad do anything he wants after looking around a sold out stadium and seeing a sea of fans wearing Ocho jerseys? And getting back to that idiot blogger mentioned earlier...why would Mike Brown pay attention to Chad's so-called antics when guys like you keep blogging about how unconcerned you are about his antics, how you care nothing about what he does off the field, and how the only problem you see is when somebody bothers to pay any attention to the antics? Or how about that rant of yours where you absolve Chad from blame after blowing off an entire season simply because the season wasn't going to be any good anyway. Best just to ignore the whole thing and pretend it didn't happen, right?

And he'll do that regardless of what you, I or anyone thinks, because he doesn't give a rat's ass about public opinion.

You've got it backwards, bright guy. Public opinion is exactly what allows Mike Brown to turn a blind eye towards towards a player who not only blows off football in a favor of a television show being filmed during the season, but at last count...four of them. And if that weren't enough an equal number of ad campaigns featuring the NFL's biggest peacock.

Point blank, if BengalNation wasn't so collectively stupid we'd see examples of Chad's jerseys being burned, signs and banners calling for him to be s**tcanned, and a local press so openly hostile that his act wouldn't be tolerated...let alone supported. But that's not the way it is around here. Instead, we collectively look around and see nobody capable of replacing Chad at WR so that's where the debate ends.....which probably mirrors what happens behind closed doors within the Bengals inner sanctum.

All of which reminds me of the classic George Carlin bit about loving the cancer growing inside of your body simply because it's yours.

However, the reason Chad has anything to do outside of football is that people keep responding to his shtick.

Again, three out of four of us want him back next season. Which IMHO makes three out of four of us total morons who deserve what they're getting. And for the record, I include in that group anyone who argues that none of Chad's antics matter.