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JaxonFord

Marvin Fired - New Coaches

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Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I've been screaming "CHANGE" for years.  Now I have it and I'm honestly more intrigued by the 2019 Bengals than any Bengals teams over the last few seasons.

Nothing to be mad about at this point and agree wholeheartedly about loving how much autonomy Zac has been given to this point in time.

Lets see what happens next with free agency and the draft.  BRING IT !!!

 

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Like I said when it happened, at least it's new. If they are going to fail, they will fail in a new way, and that will be interesting, even if still a fail. It also helps that QB class is loaded the next few years and if this goes very badly, they may back into Tua or the Oregon QB next year, or the Clemson guy two years from now.

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Kraft charged with soliciting a prostitute in Florida.

He asked the prostitute for a "Belichick", that's when a scraggly old whore wearing only a hoodie jacks you off whilst kicking you in the balls.  If you manage to ejaculate, she gives you a Lombardi trophy made out of hypodermic needles and empty snuff cans found in a Florida strip mall parking lot.  After you leave, you find a VHS tape on your dashboard.  That's right, they secretly tape the whole thing.  

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Oh this topic always brings back my youth and the days of spending my cash in the red-light district in Nurnberg Germany.
If that was enough entertainment, we'd take a trip to Amsterdam.

How I made a career in the Army is nothing short of a miracle.  The stories are endless....

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Robert Kraft: "Give me a Brady"

Florida Strip Mall Prostitute:  "What's a Brady?"

Robert Kraft:  "We get naked, You inject so much HGH that you morph into a 23 year old male model, then you deflate my balls because they're easy to grip at lower pressure."

Florida Strip Mall Prostitute: "Nope."

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On 2/22/2019 at 11:31 AM, AMPHAR said:

 Bottomline these hires could suck ass.

However,  they are done without the influence of relatives of Paul Brown.

So now it’s a question of how long a leash Zac and Tobin have.

 

This is one of the least experienced coaching staffs I can remember.

Get ready for a national media Bungles blitz if they start off losing games 

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Florida Strip Mall Prostitute: "What am I supposed to do with this giant steel arm brace?"

Robert Kraft: "Put it on your arm and give me a Gronk."

Florida Strip Mall Prostitute: "What's a Gronk?"

Robert Kraft:  “Is it jello day or pudding cup day?  Who are you?”

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Robert Kraft:  "I want the TB12.  It involves you administering a rather complicated enema involving megadoses of vitamins, plant-based nutrients, and amino acids.  I  must warn you, the results can be somewhat startling."

Trafficked Chinese Sex Slave in Florida Strip Mall "Day Spa":  "So, you hamjob, yes?"

Robert Kraft:  "You'll have to wear this rubber Tom Brady mask while giving me the enema.  And you must, absolutely must, repeatedly call me Gisele.  Yell obscenities at me, calling me Gisele.  I'll compensate you well.  Do you understand all this?"

Trafficked Chinese Sex Slave in Florida Strip Mall "Day Spa":  "Hamjob?  Yes?  Best hamjob?"

Robert Kraft:  "Look, this could get messy.  The last time I was in here I got the TB12 from Tiffani.  Do you know her?  Tiffani, from Lake Okechobee?  The enema produced a tooth last time.  I haven't lost a tooth in over ten years.  It's going to be horrific.  Do you understand?  Put the mask on and yell, 'Gisele, you bitch!'  stuff like that."

Trafficked Chinese Sex Slave in Florida Strip Mall "Day Spa":  "Jizzer!  You burch!"

Robert Kraft: "Ah, that's it.  Put the mask on, and yell at me some more.  Tell me that you know I fucked the gardener last summer."

Trafficked Chinese Sex Slave in Florida Strip Mall "Day Spa":  "Hamjob now?  Best hamjob, yes?"

Robert Kraft:  Sighs. "Ah, Ok, handjob.  Can you put the mask on the table there so I can at least look at it?"

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The new coaching staff is finalized finally ...

https://bengalswire.usatoday.com/2019/02/28/bengals-finalize-2019-coaching-staff/

Its about as far away as one could get from a Marvin Lewis staff.  A few holdovers who everyone knows but after that it’s all young dudes save Turner.

Many of these guys have 0 NFL experience.

ironically, one assistant played at Marvin’s alma matter Idaho State

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I wonder if Trump will now have Vietnam flashbacks, like, "The chairs were too firm, the ketchup they put out with the shrimp wasn't as good as Macdonald's ketchup, I heard someone speaking a foreign language, GOD THE HORROR GRRREERGGH..." (Chokes on own fright vomit).

sorry guys, have no outlet other than this for the absurdities that crop up in the news.  To stay on track, Marvin sucked for these last 4 years or so, should have left after the playoff game debacle.

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Jake Fisher is saying his tenure with the Bengals is over.  And he’s trying to reinvent himself by running routes in California and having his agent shop him as a tight end.  What the fuck.

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I saw that as well. So if you suck as an o-line blocker, somehow there’s a future for him as a blocking TE ?? Just go away Fisher !!!  

Oh yeah, thanks for, literally, nothing.

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I thought Fisher was a TE going into College then converted to tackle.

He was supposed to be a huge steal in that draft.    Oh well. 

Ced, Fish and Bodine misses have set them behind.  My thinking is they have expend cap dollars or overdraft to fill the void. 

Aside from Price, I’m not sure they have a guy that’s starts 2 years from now. Maybe Boling but he’s getting up there already. 

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With the last two hires (Duffner and that other guy) announced this morning, their total on the coaching staff is 22. That is...a LOT for this franchise. My issues with the Turner hire aside, hard to argue that this is not indeed a real change to how the front office has approached things in the past in terms of the coaching staff. Hoping it is an harbinger of a new approach to free agency too. 

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Zac Shula better turn out to be a fucking magician on draft day.  They haven’t fixed the line or the LB corps in free agency.

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