Dadraftnick Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 According to Chad he may start posting on message boards when he needs to vent.Maybe now when I vent, I should just do it to the fans on the message boards."So, I thought it would be fun to give my take on what it would a Chad post would look like.- maybe some of you would like to post your own.Hi, my name is Chad Joh..... oopps! Chad Ochocinco - I changed my name recently and some times I forget my new last name and how to spell itl- Johnson was my old name before I met Drew.I play football (when I feel like it) for the Cincinati Bengals, most football payers try to win games- what chumps!- My purpose is to make the Bengals loose and still make it look like Im trying- its alot harder than you think.Why? Because I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM ALL!!! Why? Because my agent Drew Rosenhaus says to- He says to hate everybody and everything until I get a new contract or get traded so he can make more money.I Called Drew last night to ask him when to take a $hit and how high to jump and he said that he is going to buy a new ring for my nose, for him to drag me around with(the last one was chaffing).Drew says to hate everyone but , mostly Marvin Lewis, Mike Brown,my teamates , and my (Cincinnati Bengals) fans- Drew says every time somebody dies its because they killed them.Drew is smart, he tells me everything , what to think, when to think it ,what to eat , when to eat it, ... you get the picture.I have to get a new contract , I was called to do an episode of Cribbs and I was too embarrased to be on it, my pool is not even big enough to fit all of my 32 cars and my private jet in- wouldnt you be embarrassed too!Drew is magic, he knows everthing, all of us players that he represents All need to be traded and are all being disrespected.Last year, for example ,Drew said not to work out and make an a$$ of myself, and then before the season started to say that, Ray Lewis straightened out my head- and then sabotage the team all year, this year he said to say that Denzel straightened out my head.Drew said to say that a UFO straighteded out my head next year-but, I said Drew some people dont believe in UFO's ,could we say that it was God that fixed me? Ha! Ha! Drew reminded me that HE was my god. Ha! Ha !I cant wait for traing camp, it gives us players a chance to see the fans( fools that buy my jersys) up close- and spit in their face- I love to see the look on their faces when I wont sighn a Jersey that the idiots have paid $300 for with my name on the back.Speaking of jerseys, buy some of my damn jerseys with my new name on it! Whats a'matter with you people? I said I have appologized 85 times, even though I hadnt done it once, its just as good, if you say you have done it 85 times(my number) its like magic and makes you think that I have done it , and you missed it.Well, I have to go now, Drew has got me an audition for a movie part, even though my last attempts to act were a disaster, everyone agrees that this role is perfect for me, - the lead role in the remake of the JERK ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James_Brooks21 Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 According to Chad he may start posting on message boards when he needs to vent.Maybe now when I vent, I should just do it to the fans on the message boards."So, I thought it would be fun to give my take on what it would a Chad post would look like.- maybe some of you would like to post your own.Hi, my name is Chad Joh..... oopps! Chad Ochocinco - I changed my name recently and some times I forget my new last name and how to spell itl- Johnson was my old name before I met Drew.I play football (when I feel like it) for the Cincinati Bengals, most football payers try to win games- what chumps!- My purpose is to make the Bengals loose and still make it look like Im trying- its alot harder than you think.Why? Because I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM ALL!!! Why? Because my agent Drew Rosenhaus says to- He says to hate everybody and everything until I get a new contract or get traded so he can make more money.I Called Drew last night to ask him when to take a $hit and how high to jump and he said that he is going to buy a new ring for my nose, for him to drag me around with(the last one was chaffing).Drew says to hate everyone but , mostly Marvin Lewis, Mike Brown,my teamates , and my (Cincinnati Bengals) fans- Drew says every time somebody dies its because they killed them.Drew is smart, he tells me everything , what to think, when to think it ,what to eat , when to eat it, ... you get the picture.I have to get a new contract , I was called to do an episode of Cribbs and I was too embarrased to be on it, my pool is not even big enough to fit all of my 32 cars and my private jet in- wouldnt you be embarrassed too!Drew is magic, he knows everthing, all of us players that he represents All need to be traded and are all being disrespected.Last year, for example ,Drew said not to work out and make an a$$ of myself, and then before the season started to say that, Ray Lewis straightened out my head- and then sabotage the team all year, this year he said to say that Denzel straightened out my head.Drew said to say that a UFO straighteded out my head next year-but, I said Drew some people dont believe in UFO's ,could we say that it was God that fixed me? Ha! Ha! Drew reminded me that HE was my god. Ha! Ha !I cant wait for traing camp, it gives us players a chance to see the fans( fools that buy my jersys) up close- and spit in their face- I love to see the look on their faces when I wont sighn a Jersey that the idiots have paid $300 for with my name on the back.Speaking of jerseys, buy some of my damn jerseys with my new name on it! Whats a'matter with you people? I said I have appologized 85 times, even though I hadnt done it once, its just as good, if you say you have done it 85 times(my number) its like magic and makes you think that I have done it , and you missed it.Well, I have to go now, Drew has got me an audition for a movie part, even though my last attempts to act were a disaster, everyone agrees that this role is perfect for me, - the lead role in the remake of the JERK !The Summit Behavioral Center has another candidate for their 12 step program, buddy you might want to get checked out seriously, this thing you wrote is a little bit disturbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BengalByTheBay Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 Ummmm kay.I thought it was a funny concept, but a little trouble with the execution there I would say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ickey44 Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 Ummmm kay.I thought it was a funny concept, but a little trouble with the execution there I would say.Yeah, he failed the landing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BengalPimp Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Remember Kids.......Just Say No !!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Tough crowd in here. I thought it was great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregstephens Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Alright, I'll play...Hey, y'all. Chad in da house. Naw, man, not just on the board. I'm in da' 'Nati, man, with my main boy, C.P., Carson Palmer, the ying to my yang.You feel me.Hey, let's say we put all dis hatin' down, man. Yeah, I know I mailed in last season, but what choo expect a boy 2 do? My man Mikey wasn't feelin' me. I wasn't gettin' no love from you guys. I'm not sayin' it was your fault...I'm juz sayin'.I gotta plan. Y'all gonna trip here. Let's say you forgive me, I forgive you. It's all good. I'll run out there and catch sum ballz, you run out an' buy sum shirts--sum 'Ocho' shirts!And agreen, JPong, Hooser. I felt you guyz lovin' me, man. I appreciate it. Now, one of you guyz run out, pick Ocho up a Big Mac, a Double Cheeseburger, some fries (supersize that bad boy, you know what I'm sayin'?) a chocolate shake and a Diet Coke. Boy's gotta protect the product. By the way, can one of you break a hundred? I didn't think so. I'll catch you when I get some smaller coin.Peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Hey, what's up Bengalszone, it's the Ocho. Did you stupid asses really think I was going to come here to vent ?? For real ??Child, please...Oh yeah, I'll be on a pay per view event where I get Mike Brown in the ring. I plan on whoopin' that dudes ass !!!It's only $99.99 in advance !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJJackson Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 I'd actually pay double to see that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 I'd actually pay double to see thatI was thinking the same thing after typing it !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derekshank Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Hey, what's up Bengalszone, it's the Ocho. Did you stupid asses really think I was going to come here to vent ?? For real ??Child, please...Oh yeah, I'll be on a pay per view event where I get Mike Brown in the ring. I plan on whoopin' that dudes ass !!!It's only $99.99 in advance !!!I'd love to see him in the ring with Mike Brown... if we're talking about the guy that just beat Urijah Faber for the second time. Talk about something to humble Chad... Him getting his ass kicked on PPV by a guy who is 5'6" and 145 lbs should do the trick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYBengalfan Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 According to Chad he may start posting on message boards when he needs to vent.Maybe now when I vent, I should just do it to the fans on the message boards."So, I thought it would be fun to give my take on what it would a Chad post would look like.- maybe some of you would like to post your own.Hi, my name is Chad Joh..... oopps! Chad Ochocinco - I changed my name recently and some times I forget my new last name and how to spell itl- Johnson was my old name before I met Drew.I play football (when I feel like it) for the Cincinati Bengals, most football payers try to win games- what chumps!- My purpose is to make the Bengals loose and still make it look like Im trying- its alot harder than you think.Why? Because I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM ALL!!! Why? Because my agent Drew Rosenhaus says to- He says to hate everybody and everything until I get a new contract or get traded so he can make more money.I Called Drew last night to ask him when to take a $hit and how high to jump and he said that he is going to buy a new ring for my nose, for him to drag me around with(the last one was chaffing).Drew says to hate everyone but , mostly Marvin Lewis, Mike Brown,my teamates , and my (Cincinnati Bengals) fans- Drew says every time somebody dies its because they killed them.Drew is smart, he tells me everything , what to think, when to think it ,what to eat , when to eat it, ... you get the picture.I have to get a new contract , I was called to do an episode of Cribbs and I was too embarrased to be on it, my pool is not even big enough to fit all of my 32 cars and my private jet in- wouldnt you be embarrassed too!Drew is magic, he knows everthing, all of us players that he represents All need to be traded and are all being disrespected.Last year, for example ,Drew said not to work out and make an a$$ of myself, and then before the season started to say that, Ray Lewis straightened out my head- and then sabotage the team all year, this year he said to say that Denzel straightened out my head.Drew said to say that a UFO straighteded out my head next year-but, I said Drew some people dont believe in UFO's ,could we say that it was God that fixed me? Ha! Ha! Drew reminded me that HE was my god. Ha! Ha !I cant wait for traing camp, it gives us players a chance to see the fans( fools that buy my jersys) up close- and spit in their face- I love to see the look on their faces when I wont sighn a Jersey that the idiots have paid $300 for with my name on the back.Speaking of jerseys, buy some of my damn jerseys with my new name on it! Whats a'matter with you people? I said I have appologized 85 times, even though I hadnt done it once, its just as good, if you say you have done it 85 times(my number) its like magic and makes you think that I have done it , and you missed it.Well, I have to go now, Drew has got me an audition for a movie part, even though my last attempts to act were a disaster, everyone agrees that this role is perfect for me, - the lead role in the remake of the JERK !Give him an A for effort, but an F for execution. Good try but no.Hey, what's up Bengalszone, it's the Ocho. Did you stupid asses really think I was going to come here to vent ?? For real ??Child, please...Oh yeah, I'll be on a pay per view event where I get Mike Brown in the ring. I plan on whoopin' that dudes ass !!!It's only $99.99 in advance !!!I would definitely pay for Chad to beat the s**t outta mike brown. Id pay triple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregstephens Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 According to Chad he may start posting on message boards when he needs to vent.Maybe now when I vent, I should just do it to the fans on the message boards."So, I thought it would be fun to give my take on what it would a Chad post would look like.- maybe some of you would like to post your own.Hi, my name is Chad Joh..... oopps! Chad Ochocinco - I changed my name recently and some times I forget my new last name and how to spell itl- Johnson was my old name before I met Drew.I play football (when I feel like it) for the Cincinati Bengals, most football payers try to win games- what chumps!- My purpose is to make the Bengals loose and still make it look like Im trying- its alot harder than you think.Why? Because I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM ALL!!! Why? Because my agent Drew Rosenhaus says to- He says to hate everybody and everything until I get a new contract or get traded so he can make more money.I Called Drew last night to ask him when to take a $hit and how high to jump and he said that he is going to buy a new ring for my nose, for him to drag me around with(the last one was chaffing).Drew says to hate everyone but , mostly Marvin Lewis, Mike Brown,my teamates , and my (Cincinnati Bengals) fans- Drew says every time somebody dies its because they killed them.Drew is smart, he tells me everything , what to think, when to think it ,what to eat , when to eat it, ... you get the picture.I have to get a new contract , I was called to do an episode of Cribbs and I was too embarrased to be on it, my pool is not even big enough to fit all of my 32 cars and my private jet in- wouldnt you be embarrassed too!Drew is magic, he knows everthing, all of us players that he represents All need to be traded and are all being disrespected.Last year, for example ,Drew said not to work out and make an a$$ of myself, and then before the season started to say that, Ray Lewis straightened out my head- and then sabotage the team all year, this year he said to say that Denzel straightened out my head.Drew said to say that a UFO straighteded out my head next year-but, I said Drew some people dont believe in UFO's ,could we say that it was God that fixed me? Ha! Ha! Drew reminded me that HE was my god. Ha! Ha !I cant wait for traing camp, it gives us players a chance to see the fans( fools that buy my jersys) up close- and spit in their face- I love to see the look on their faces when I wont sighn a Jersey that the idiots have paid $300 for with my name on the back.Speaking of jerseys, buy some of my damn jerseys with my new name on it! Whats a'matter with you people? I said I have appologized 85 times, even though I hadnt done it once, its just as good, if you say you have done it 85 times(my number) its like magic and makes you think that I have done it , and you missed it.Well, I have to go now, Drew has got me an audition for a movie part, even though my last attempts to act were a disaster, everyone agrees that this role is perfect for me, - the lead role in the remake of the JERK !Give him an A for effort, but an F for execution. Good try but no.Hey, what's up Bengalszone, it's the Ocho. Did you stupid asses really think I was going to come here to vent ?? For real ??Child, please...Oh yeah, I'll be on a pay per view event where I get Mike Brown in the ring. I plan on whoopin' that dudes ass !!!It's only $99.99 in advance !!!I would definitely pay for Chad to beat the s**t outta mike brown. Id pay triple.I'd pay even more than that because there's a not-unheard of possibility ole' SoP beats the tattoos off Fredo's face. Fredo reminds me of when Phil Jackson said, "Here, kitty kitty kitty," in reference to Kwame Brown a couple years ago.THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COB Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Hey Y’all, this is the Ocho, shoutin’ out to ya for some…(notices piece of tinfoil on his kitchen counter)Ooohh, shiny… shiny….Hey, just wanted to get with you to vent about my…(Chad’s Spanish instruction show begins on the television)DORA! DORA! DORA’S ON! DORA’S ON!(half hour passes)Anyway, did y’all see the tattoos on my face? I had a coupon for that s**t, it only cost me… Hey, guitar hero!(Sees video game guitar near TV, picks it up and plays guitar hero for 4 hours)Man, I’m pissed at Marvin. He doesn’t like it that I’m gettin’ great advice on how to play receiver in the NFL from all over. Denzel said to get back to bein’ me. Man, that s**t’s deep. So I tell Marvin I’ll be in Cincy as soon as I hear back from Jack Nicholson, Hanna Montana, and Mr. Miyagi. He all like, “Mr. Miyagi’s dead. You need to get off all these famous people’s jocks and get back here. We got NFL receiver coaches who know ten times what they do about playin’ in the league.” Can you believe that s**t? Straight out player hater! Also, who knew Mr. Miyagi was dead? So I put in a call to the Karate Kid, and he was like, “I dunno, I suppose you should watch the ball all the way into your hands, that’s what my Dad told me in little league.” Out of the mouths of babes! Just try to stop me this year, NFC North cornerbacks. I’m comin’ at ya!(Cell phone rings, Chad answers)I’m back ya’ll, that was the NFL Network. They want me to come on set and go through some routes in just a jock and full body paint that looks like my Bengal Uni. The tiger stripes in body paint? Awesome. They were so excited when I said yes that a lot of guys in the background were breaking down laughing. Probably at all the other sucker stations that won’t have the Ocho in a jock and body paint running routes. (Notices pedestrians walking by on sidewalk outside his window, runs to window, opens it, stands there and yells, “It’s me y’all, Chad! Hey y’all, it’s me. Me! Chad OchoCinco! Hey, look! It’s me!”)Wow, I love the fans. They can’t get enough of me out here. Hope you all are saving up the love for Ocho…(Notices the same piece of tinfoil)Shiny! Ooohh, shiny… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregstephens Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Hey Y’all, this is the Ocho, shoutin’ out to ya for some…(notices piece of tinfoil on his kitchen counter)Ooohh, shiny… shiny….Hey, just wanted to get with you to vent about my…(Chad’s Spanish instruction show begins on the television)DORA! DORA! DORA’S ON! DORA’S ON!(half hour passes)Anyway, did y’all see the tattoos on my face? I had a coupon for that s**t, it only cost me… Hey, guitar hero!(Sees video game guitar near TV, picks it up and plays guitar hero for 4 hours)Man, I’m pissed at Marvin. He doesn’t like it that I’m gettin’ great advice on how to play receiver in the NFL from all over. Denzel said to get back to bein’ me. Man, that s**t’s deep. So I tell Marvin I’ll be in Cincy as soon as I hear back from Jack Nicholson, Hanna Montana, and Mr. Miyagi. He all like, “Mr. Miyagi’s dead. You need to get off all these famous people’s jocks and get back here. We got NFL receiver coaches who know ten times what they do about playin’ in the league.” Can you believe that s**t? Straight out player hater! Also, who knew Mr. Miyagi was dead? So I put in a call to the Karate Kid, and he was like, “I dunno, I suppose you should watch the ball all the way into your hands, that’s what my Dad told me in little league.” Out of the mouths of babes! Just try to stop me this year, NFC North cornerbacks. I’m comin’ at ya!(Cell phone rings, Chad answers)I’m back ya’ll, that was the NFL Network. They want me to come on set and go through some routes in just a jock and full body paint that looks like my Bengal Uni. The tiger stripes in body paint? Awesome. They were so excited when I said yes that a lot of guys in the background were breaking down laughing. Probably at all the other sucker stations that won’t have the Ocho in a jock and body paint running routes. (Notices pedestrians walking by on sidewalk outside his window, runs to window, opens it, stands there and yells, “It’s me y’all, Chad! Hey y’all, it’s me. Me! Chad OchoCinco! Hey, look! It’s me!”)Wow, I love the fans. They can’t get enough of me out here. Hope you all are saving up the love for Ocho…(Notices the same piece of tinfoil)Shiny! Ooohh, shiny…Very nice.However, I'm just waiting for the post directed to our friend, ArmyBengal--"F*** ArmyBengal!--signed Ocho" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HairOnFire Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Ummmm kay.I thought it was a funny concept, but a little trouble with the execution there I would say. Trust me on this one, pretending to be crazy isn't as easy at is looks. You've got to work at it, and it never gets easier. So I offer mad props to Dadraftnik for making the effort. And it was a funny concept. However, when you think about it we don't really have to guess what a Chad post might look like, do we? No hoopty car. Walking to work. Attacked by a deer this morning. Must be the perfume I wear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Hey Y'all, this is the Ocho, shoutin' out to ya for some…(notices piece of tinfoil on his kitchen counter)Ooohh, shiny… shiny….Hey, just wanted to get with you to vent about my…(Chad's Spanish instruction show begins on the television)DORA! DORA! DORA'S ON! DORA'S ON!(half hour passes)Anyway, did y'all see the tattoos on my face? I had a coupon for that s**t, it only cost me… Hey, guitar hero!(Sees video game guitar near TV, picks it up and plays guitar hero for 4 hours)Man, I'm pissed at Marvin. He doesn't like it that I'm gettin' great advice on how to play receiver in the NFL from all over. Denzel said to get back to bein' me. Man, that s**t's deep. So I tell Marvin I'll be in Cincy as soon as I hear back from Jack Nicholson, Hanna Montana, and Mr. Miyagi. He all like, "Mr. Miyagi's dead. You need to get off all these famous people's jocks and get back here. We got NFL receiver coaches who know ten times what they do about playin' in the league." Can you believe that s**t? Straight out player hater! Also, who knew Mr. Miyagi was dead? So I put in a call to the Karate Kid, and he was like, "I dunno, I suppose you should watch the ball all the way into your hands, that's what my Dad told me in little league." Out of the mouths of babes! Just try to stop me this year, NFC North cornerbacks. I'm comin' at ya!(Cell phone rings, Chad answers)I'm back ya'll, that was the NFL Network. They want me to come on set and go through some routes in just a jock and full body paint that looks like my Bengal Uni. The tiger stripes in body paint? Awesome. They were so excited when I said yes that a lot of guys in the background were breaking down laughing. Probably at all the other sucker stations that won't have the Ocho in a jock and body paint running routes.(Notices pedestrians walking by on sidewalk outside his window, runs to window, opens it, stands there and yells, "It's me y'all, Chad! Hey y'all, it's me. Me! Chad OchoCinco! Hey, look! It's me!")Wow, I love the fans. They can't get enough of me out here. Hope you all are saving up the love for Ocho…(Notices the same piece of tinfoil)Shiny! Ooohh, shiny…Very nice.However, I'm just waiting for the post directed to our friend, ArmyBengal--"F*** ArmyBengal!--signed Ocho" I would actually find that very amusing. I would then follow that up with links to every thread people busted his balls and called him a bitch on this forum since he's the new guy in the Zone. I would end it with a simple,"F*ck me ?? Child please !!!"Love Army !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
membengal Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Y'all are working WAY too hard at this.Just go read agreen's posts. Pretty much just like that. In fact, he may be Johnson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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