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And It Just Gets Better for Browns Fans


HoosierCat

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So, the Browns need a new GM, coach, and another 1st round QB apparently.

Poor Browns fans.  Seriously, I don't know if there has ever been a sports franchise that repeatedly f*cks itself over as much as the Browns.

You can't even use the term "dumpster fire" to describe them any longer.  It just doesn't do that situation justice.

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14 hours ago, HoosierCat said:

apparently JFF just blew the team off today, didn't show up for the game, didn't answer his phone, basically pulled a Darnay Scott one game ahead of schedule. Lol

Possibly trying to get himself traded or cut.  It would actually be a brilliant move.  For him to have any chance at an NFL career, he really, really, really, must escape Cleveland.  

 

Also - they now have the 2nd pick in the draft.  How many agents of highly regarded players are going to tell the Browns organization don't bother drafting my guy, he won't sign or at least he won't sign easily.  Probably a lot.  Also, how many free agents are going to be willing to sign there?  You'd have to be desperate.  Couple more years in the basement for the Browns.  

On the plus side, since no large dollar free agents will sign there, the owner won't have to sell too much crap at his shitty truck stops.  Nekkid lady silhouette mud flaps remain at full price.  

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I just researched the Browns, just looking for new ways to make fun of them.

Haslem, their inbred owner who inherited his daddy's truck stop chain and so far has distinguished himself mainly by defrauding the customer base his father built up, has made his first hire of the new regime.

He needed a football mind, he felt, to oversee the roster.  There weren't enough good players, he felt they hadn't done a good enough job of talent acquisition.

So he went and hired himself a new executive V.P. of Football Operations.  This person will have final say over the 53-man roster, which includes drafting players and signing free agents.  Thus he went and found himself a football guy, right?  An NFL lifer, right?

No, he promoted his lawyer.  Sashi Brown is going from general counsel to football operations.  

WHO THE FUCK would ever put a Harvard lawyer in charge of picking your players?  If that's ever been done before, I bet it was a huge failure.  

 

 

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3 hours ago, HoosierCat said:

Well, to be fair Sashi Brown is a former Jacksonville Jaguars exec and look at at all the success they...oh, wait. Never mind.

Here's a little insight into how completely stupid the whole Cleveland organization is.  Sashi Brown was a private practice lawyer before he talked himself into a job in football.  He dealt with sports business transactions.  One of the transactions he worked on was Steve Bisciotti's acquisition of Art Modell's majority interest in the Baltimore Ravens.

Just think about it.  That fan base in Cleveland has been fucked over about fifty different ways.  The organization they nurtured and built up, the organization that their unwavering support basically created, this guy was a part of the buying and selling of that thing, which basically had value because of the fan support Cleveland had provided over the fifty years or whatever it had been in Cleveland.

And now this fine fellow is in Cleveland, essentially running the Cleveland Browns.  I wonder if he has ever even run a little league football team?  I doubt it.  He actually seems to like basketball better than football.

He's part of a 4 man team that is going to search for and hire a new coach.  Since he doesn't know shit about football, hopefully they'll have some real football people on the 4 man team.  Sorry Cleveland, the 4 man team is Sashi Brown, some anonymous contractor from a search firm who will be ignored and who is part of the team just so everything can be blamed on him,  and Jimmy Haslem.  Wait, that's only 3.  Brown, anonymous fall guy just hired for the search, and Haslem.  Ha ha ha!  The 4th member of the search team is Jimmy Haslem's wife.  Hey Cleveland Brown fans, guess what, you are all going straight to hell!

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  • 3 weeks later...
1 hour ago, HoosierCat said:

Man, dude does not give a shit that his multi-million dollar earning career is being pissed away.  I wonder if when Jimmy Haslem thought he heard that homeless vagrant outside a convenience store say, "hey, you gotta draft Johnny Football!  And are those nekkid lady mud flaps on your Mercedes?" what the guy actually said was, "Hey, I'm from the future!  I'm Johnny Football in 25 years, don't draft me!"

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Telling you the guy will find his way onto another team.

Him turning it around is clearly another story, but stranger things have happened.
I still haven't ruled out him simply not wanting to play for the Browns and wanting out.
Are there better ways to go about it ??  Sure, but who am I to judge ??

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Don't you dare disrespect Jim Brown, did you somehow forget his powerful impact in the movie "Draft Day" ??

I mean, after the Browns pull off the most amazing draft in the history, he's found congratulating the owner telling him he did a hell of a job with the draft.

If that doesn't sell you on his credentials, you are lost sir !!!

 

SIDE NOTE:
THESE SMILIES SUCK...

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Speaking of the "brain" trust, easily impressed hack Peter King is easily impressed:

Quote

 

2. I think this is now the Cleveland Browns football decision-making tree. See if you can spot a trend:

 Hue Jackson, head coach, 50 years old. Degree in physical education, University of the Pacific. Quarterback, Pacific.

 Sashi Brown, Executive VP of football operations, 39. Degree in communications, Hampton University. Law degree, Harvard.

 Andrew Berry, VP of player personnel, 28. Degree in economics, Harvard. Cornerback, Harvard. Masters in computer science, Harvard.

 Paul DePodesta, chief strategy officer, 43. Degree in economics, Harvard. Wide receiver, Harvard.

 Alec Scheiner, president, 45. Degrees in economics and Latin American studies, Georgetown. Law degree, Georgetown.

So … with the exception of the head coach (and I can tell you, Jackson has been well trained in the school of hard knocks), the Browns will be run by brainiacs between 28 and 43, three with advanced degrees from Harvard or Georgetown. The fourth, DePodesta, was one of the brains behind Moneyball. This is going to be a very, very interesting year in Cleveland.

 

Soooo...what you really need to succeed in the NFL is Ivy League brainiacs running the show?

Hmmmm...something seems amiss with this theory...what could it be....oh, I'm sure I can think of why this is wrong...maybe the power of google can help me...

Quote

[Mike] Brown graduated from Dartmouth College in 1957, where he played quarterback for their football team, and from Harvard Law School in 1959.

THANKS GOOGLE!!!!!

(And this comes from a write who use to live in Cincinnati and cover the Bengals. Jeezus K. Rist...)

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