When it rains it pours....

[agreen_112]

I know some of you can't take my personality (if that's what you want to call it) and really don't think I have the slightest clue about most subjects... Beside all that, please take a moment to hear what's going on with me.

I'm looking for advice, agreen's down for the count.

Here's the backstory. I was engaged to a girl and we bought a house together. Both of our names are on the loan. We had a daughter. We lasted for almost 3 years until she decided to up and leave. Before she left, and after the baby was born, she decided that she didn't want to work anymore, that she wanted to be a stay at home mother. This put all the financial responsibility on ME. She didn't care, her mind was made up.

I'm in the process of forclosure. I have about 90 days. I'm 6 months behind on the mortgage.

My ex is a complete bitch so we're through. She has my daughter and I get her every other weekend and every Tuesday and Thursday. I need to get a lawyer for custody rights. Currently I have no rights.

My home will be taken in probably 90 days. I have No where to go. Literally I have absolutely no where to go. I have little family and the family I do have can not take me in. I have friends but none with any room.

I make $14.85 an hour working as a Technical Support Specialist. I have just found out that our company is making huge cutbacks and our wages are being slashed by 10%. This means that I'll be making $13.85.

I give my ex $400 cash every month.

I also just found out that I'm being moved back out to the floor to work in production. I will no longer be doing tech support for my small company. I loved my job. I'm heartbroken even more.

[COB]

Your long tenure as a Bengals fan has prepared you for this very time in your life! Concentrate first and foremost on securing an affordable place to live. The stuff with your ex and your daughter will be imposed on you no matter what, so don't even worry about it. Something Bob Knight said about something being inevitable so you might as well sit back and enjoy it.

Hang in there Agreen, life has its hard way with all of us eventually. I'll send you my extensive collection of "Up With People" records.

[gregstephens]

I know some of you can't take my personality (if that's what you want to call it) and really don't think I have the slightest clue about most subjects... Beside all that, please take a moment to hear what's going on with me.

I'm looking for advice, agreen's down for the count.

Here's the backstory. I was engaged to a girl and we bought a house together. Both of our names are on the loan. We had a daughter. We lasted for almost 3 years until she decided to up and leave. Before she left, and after the baby was born, she decided that she didn't want to work anymore, that she wanted to be a stay at home mother. This put all the financial responsibility on ME. She didn't care, her mind was made up.

I'm in the process of forclosure. I have about 90 days. I'm 6 months behind on the mortgage.

My ex is a complete bitch so we're through. She has my daughter and I get her every other weekend and every Tuesday and Thursday. I need to get a lawyer for custody rights. Currently I have no rights.

My home will be taken in probably 90 days. I have No where to go. Literally I have absolutely no where to go. I have little family and the family I do have can not take me in. I have friends but none with any room.

I make $14.85 an hour working as a Technical Support Specialist. I have just found out that our company is making huge cutbacks and our wages are being slashed by 10%. This means that I'll be making $13.85.

I give my ex $400 cash every month.

I also just found out that I'm being moved back out to the floor to work in production. I will no longer be doing tech support for my small company. I loved my job. I'm heartbroken even more.

Did you call Lynn Lampe at the Robinson-Schwenn Building? Hopefully she can help you with the custody thing. Tell her I sent you.

[BengalszoneBilly]

I'm looking for advice, agreen's down for the count.

I'm 50 years old greenie, and I can't tell you how many times I felt this same way. The last time was on May 22nd 2006. I was sentenced to prison for DUI and lost my job, my home, and my wife. Today I have a better job, a better home, and incredibly my wife back even though we remain divorced. Things seem to work better for me with less paper involved.

My point is if a doofus like me can get back up off the mat, you can too, and you will.

[ArmyBengal]

Dude, sorry to hear about your luck. I would spit some super cool words of wisdom to you but they are just words. All I can say is, hang in there and take care of yourself.

[agreen_112]

Thanks guys. It's amazing how fast your life can completely turn upside down...

[ArmyBengal]

I feel you Agreen... There was a point in time for me where I went from going through a divorce, had no money, couldn't afford to put gas in my car, looking for change in the couch cushions, to getting married, getting my wife pregnant (yes it was planned), and deploying two weeks after ArmyBengal Jr. was born and being gone for 15 months. That period went from really bad, to really good, to really bad. Fortunately, I'm back to really good again and have no intentions of going back.

You just have to hang in and do what's best for you. It may sound selfish, but taking care of #1 is FAR more than a punchline to a joke...

[BengalPimp]

Sorry to hear that. It may not help, but everybody I'm sure has gone through those rough patches, and hopefully most have gotten through them. I know its a cliche, but it does make you stronger....eventually. If you really want to keep your home, I'd say call your lender, and see if there is any way you can do a loan-modification. You may have to write a "hardship letter" and maybe something can be done. If not, your credit will be screwed, but after 3 years you can be considered a "first time home buyer" again (depending on the program). Unfortunately, this is happening all too often these days, to far too many people. I hate to tell you to take advantage of the system, but if in fact you are going to lose your home, there is no sense in making anymore payments, and my recommendation is to save as much as you possibly can in the time until which you are foreclosed upon, and maybe you can save up enough to rent. Also, I know your child is probably the most important to you right now, but You shouldnt have to be giving her $400 a month if no court is ordering you too, just pay for normal child expenses, food, diapers,etc. From what it sounds like, she doesnt deserve any money for herself.

Keep your head up bro, things will get better, you just have to try to ride this out.