It's getting harder to stay a fan

[BZBot]

Is it worth the hassle to call this team your favorite?

Source: http://www.bengalszone.com/article.php?sid=517

[Stripes]

I don't see how being a Bengals fan makes any parent a hypocrite when they stress "say no to drugs, alcohol, etc..." Sure, a kid might try and use that for arguments sake, but who cares when the argument so obviously holds zero water?

You can advise your kids as you see fit, and it should be up to them to listen regardless of completely unrelated circumstances such as the Bengals, yes?

[walzav29]

Obviously there is more to parenting that which football team you like, but when the 1st thing that comes up when talking about Cincy are arrests. It can be a little thing that makes a difference. Kids do look up to athletes whether you like it or not.

[AMC]

Who are good role models for kids???

Athletes? Politicians? Hollywood stars? Religious leaders? No thank you!

If not the kids own parents then who???

I nominate Larry Flynt....

[duus]

No doubt. I surely do my very best to show and tell (in that order) my children what is important ... what priorities should be. Football, and the Bengals are way down on the list. Yet, that said, everyone in Pittsburgh knows clearly what team our family is behind. That alone is tough enough. But having this monthly negative information over our heads sometimes proves impossible to deal, giving already overly obnoxious and arrogant fans that much more fuel. When a Steeler fan father of a six year old student finds it important to poke fun of a non-Steeler fan six year old ... well, you can imagine how this 'poking fun' gets even worse with the current situation. Then you have your six year old come home asking why we root for a team that has "so many bad guys". It just goes down hill from there. Very, very hard. The best I can do is explain how human these guys are and that our ultimate role model is anything but a dumb football player or team. That's easy enough to explain, because it is true ... for every human except Steeler fans who literally worship the team, players and organization. Given my situation, these current events cause me way too much pain. Is it too much to ask that your favorite team simply remain moderately respectable in the public eye? Sad ... but I will continue to maintain faith. The cost has been too high to sell out now.

[membengal]

I managed to deflect my five-year-old's questions about who number 51 was on the Bengals (that was the unfortuante jersey purchase of mine during Thurman's rookie year) so far. Down the road, we will simply talk about right and wrong choices. No biggie.

[DC_Bengals_Fan]

I nominate Larry Flynt....

Hey, in the last 30 years, no one's done more for the 1st Amendment protections we all share than Mr. Larry Flynt. Every time you read or write political satire, thank Larry Flynt. Had Falwell won that case, satire would be a thing of the past.

And naturally, Flynt has made other, ah, *contributions* to popular culture as well.

[HairOnFire]

"It’s amazing that even after going through that horrendous decade called the 90’s, I am more ashamed now to call myself a Bengal fan."

Your choice seems easy to me. Stop being a fan.

But regardless of what you decide to do I think you'll still have to deal with your child turning to too many role models that disappoint.

I've never understood the argument that sports figures are role models for children. Granted, they're grown men and women playing childrens games for money, but even in the most extreme examples you never get to know the player well enough for him to become a true role model. All you're exposed to is a superficial media image that feels false to even the most casual observer....so who amongst us is really fooled? And what right do we have to expect football players to be above the temptations that are so attractive to most of society?

Frankly, if your kid is looking for a role model he shouldn't have to look outside his own home.

I nominate Larry Flynt....

Hey, in the last 30 years, no one's done more for the 1st Amendment protections we all share than Mr. Larry Flynt. Every time you read or write political satire, thank Larry Flynt. Had Falwell won that case, satire would be a thing of the past.

And naturally, Flynt has made other, ah, *contributions* to popular culture as well.

No doubt those contributions include paying a staggering amount of taxes which are then presumably used for the greater common good....thereby making Flynt a far more productive citizen than most of his critics.

[Kirkendall]

This applies to sports in general and has been the same rehashed, it's about the kids, argument for the past 15 years.

Kids look up to athletes for what they do on the field -- most haven't a clue of their newsworthy actions. Unless of course, you invite that.

Their personal lives might make the news, but hopefully, as great parents I'm sure you all are, you reinforce what's right and wrong.

But as long as "role models" like Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohen keep showing their cha-chings getting out of cars, entering drug and alcohol rehab clinics and very limited is said about their role model status, then no one better say a word about athletes.

[Stripes]

But as long as "role models" like Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohen keep showing their cha-chings getting out of cars, entering drug and alcohol rehab clinics and very limited is said about their role model status, then no one better say a word about athletes.

[walzav29]

I will guarantee that if you ask every 3rd grader in the United States who their favorite wide-receivers are the majority would say T.O. and Randy Moss. They get the pub, just like all of these arrests will get the Bengals on the news.

[MacD BengalFan]

I will guarantee that if you ask every 3rd grader in the United States who their favorite wide-receivers are the majority would say T.O. and Randy Moss. They get the pub, just like all of these arrests will get the Bengals on the news.

And that is pure poor parenting. The proper influence for kids should come from home, not the media. If parents don't explain right from wrong, you will these kind of comments.

[Stripes]

I will guarantee that if you ask every 3rd grader in the United States who their favorite wide-receivers are the majority would say T.O. and Randy Moss. They get the pub, just like all of these arrests will get the Bengals on the news.

And that is pure poor parenting. The proper influence for kids should come from home, not the media. If parents don't explain right from wrong, you will these kind of comments.

I think that's a bit much, MacD. A kid will answer that question based on football, not what the media has to say. For the same reason they could also say Chad, Steve Smith, or Torry Holt. Anyone.

Kids DO look at their parents as role models much more than they ever could at athletes, actors, or musicians. That's a natural ocurrence, not something that has to be stressed.

Sure, kids also look up to those figures, but not in the same fashion. They don't consciously think, "Johnathan Joseph had pot so it's cool if I have pot."

Instead, they think, "dad said pot is a no-no, therefore pot is a no-no."

Using the Bengals or any other famous characters as argument material is just an excuse. They know right from wrong just as their parents deliver the message unto them.

[Kirkendall]

I will guarantee that if you ask every 3rd grader in the United States who their favorite wide-receivers are the majority would say T.O. and Randy Moss. They get the pub, just like all of these arrests will get the Bengals on the news.

Disagree. I think that's a regional argument. If you ask that question to kids in the Cincinnati region, you'll probably get Chad Johnson. The only region where sports figures aren't seen as role models is... Cleveland. They just suck.

[walzav29]

No kidding. The point is that although you are the parent. You have no control over the kids lunch table at school. That's when alot of this stuff comes up. If you think peer pressure has no effect on a kid, then I think even Bill Cosby would disagree with that. You should be able to just enjoy football with your kid without having to explain all of this stupid stuff. Are you telling me that you aren't following the Bengals? Your kid sees you watching them right? You are a roll model and the question will come up. Why does daddy like a team full of criminals? What's your answer. Yes quit rooting for the Bengals. Right? How about Marvin and Mike start listening to the reports on these guys?

[Kazkal]

Carson could be arrested and I'd still be a fan "shrug"

If anything will be the gridiron gang of the nfl

[duus]

No kidding. The point is that although you are the parent. You have no control over the kids lunch table at school. That's when alot of this stuff comes up. If you think peer pressure has no effect on a kid, then I think even Bill Cosby would disagree with that. You should be able to just enjoy football with your kid without having to explain all of this stupid stuff. Are you telling me that you aren't following the Bengals? Your kid sees you watching them right? You are a roll model and the question will come up. Why does daddy like a team full of criminals? What's your answer. Yes quit rooting for the Bengals. Right? How about Marvin and Mike start listening to the reports on these guys?

And that's the rub. I do my very best to earn respect from my children. I VERY MUCH want them to look up to me and respect what I say and do. They see me watching the Bengals and wearing various Bengals shirts, hats, coats, etc. Then they see me take public ridicule in Pittsburgh. They hear about the 'criminal' aspect. They hear about the 'arrests'. Then they get it from their own school mates and their school mates' parents (as sad as that is). And now the implication is that Daddy enjoys something that is very bad and everyone makes fun of that. I can explain this away as much as I want, but it will never negate the fact that it harms the image my children have of me simply because of the association. That is that might hurt the most. Oh, I have had to already deal with much more difficult issues/topics, but this one just seems to me to be unnecessary. That's the frustrating part.

[HairOnFire]

Why does daddy like a team full of criminals? What's your answer. Yes quit rooting for the Bengals. Right? How about Marvin and Mike start listening to the reports on these guys?

Daddy likes rooting for the Bengals because, as George Carlin once said..."Daddy is just rooting for the laundry." So be honest with your kid and explain to him that with very few exceptions the collective Dads-O-The-World are fans of a given team simply because of geography...because of the close proximity of that team to his own childhood home, and as a result Daddy mostly roots for the uniform and not the player wearing it. Granted, your child may be confused by your answer at first, but he'll respect your honesty...and as he or she matures they'll eventually understand things as they really are.

As for refusing to root for the Bengals any longer, why do you reject such advice if you're truly torn over the impact of the arrests and the resulting hypocrisy? Heal yourself by accepting the things you can't change. Accept the fact that the arrests aren't really a reflection on the city of Cincinnati or on Marvin Lewis. They're a reflection of our society as a whole and on the individuals directly involved. Get a grip on yourself using both hands and admit that these arrests have nothing to do with you even though you might wear a Bengal hat in the presence of your child. Or do the easy, sensible, and somewhat cowardly thing by immediately putting the hat away. Nobody has to know and few will care.

As for listening to the reports about "these guys"...to my knowledge there were no damning reports concerning Joseph. Or Steinbach. Or Smith. Or Bratkowski. Nor was there anything written that suggested that Mattias Askew had illegal automobile parking tendencies. And if the Bengals knew that Domata Peko was a serial outdoor urinator, well.....where's the harm? (Wee the people, right?)

Finally, and these words are written for Duus, we both know those mean Steeler fans were going to bust your chops about the Bengals no matter what. So don't deny them the easy play. Instead, bust 'em up with talk of steroids, unemplyment gags, and images of corncob pipes. Go gay on them by mentioning Kordell if that's your style. And remember...there's always Ben.

[DC_Bengals_Fan]

Finally, and these words are written for Duus, we both know those mean Steeler fans were going to bust your chops about the Bengals no matter what. So don't deny them the easy play. Instead, bust 'em up with talk of steroids, unemplyment gags, and images of corncob pipes. Go gay on them by mentioning Kordell if that's your style. And remember...there's always Ben.

Tell 'em Franco's catch hit the ground, that'll keep em going for hours. Point out that living in Pissburgh sucks so bad, Whisenhunt took the freaking *Arizona* death sentence. I dunno if duus married a Pittsburgh girl, but if not, you could go way low and mention the general, ah...heft of their women.

[walzav29]

I'm a Bengal fan from Michigan. I've never lived in Ohio. I just got struck by the Bengal disease as a kid. My kids thought T.O. and Randy Moss were the best because of all of the hype. I explained how they sucked. It's not regional for kids these days. It's the fame. I don't care how you slice it. All these arrests are embarrassing.

[HairOnFire]

I dunno if duus married a Pittsburgh girl, but if not, you could go way low and mention the general, ah...heft of their women.

Don't forget to mention the habit of all Pennsylvania women to have a thick crop of wire-like back hair.

[HairOnFire]

I don't care how you slice it. All these arrests are embarrassing.

Fine, you're determined to be embarrassed. No matter what is said you're dead set on taking a silly game to serious extremes.

I'm not going there with you.

I don't take the least bit of credit when the Bengals win a football game or perform acts of stupifying athletic brilliance so I'm not taking a single snippet of blame when they lose football games or perform acts of staggering stupidity....like driving drunk or voting for Bush. Simply put, those horrific crimes and acts of outright stupidity are not my own and I will not feel burdened by them because I happen to own a Bengal hat.

That said, I respect your right to feel as guilty and miserable as you think might be appropriate.

[BengalszoneBilly]

It seems to me that these parents are looking for someone else to do their role modeling job for them.

[walzav29]

Yeah. I'm expecting Chris Henry, Frostee, and Steiny to take my kids. Get some weed, and some underage girls, and try to take advantage of them on a boat. Alright, so it's more of a reason for other guys to ball bust you about your team. How about this then. The team should be embarrassed.

[duus]

It seems to me that these parents are looking for someone else to do their role modeling job for them.

Just to be clear ... I, as one of 'these parents' never complain/worry/whatever about the 'role model' side. I find that to be a ridiculous argument. That's an easy one to explain to my children as they are continually taught in my home that role models begin and end at a much higher level. Yet, even so, as a parent this 'image association' is what I find difficult to bear. Not impossible ... just difficult ... and shouldn't have to exist. That's the point.