goodbyeMarvin Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 Breaking news from my inside source- Marvins contract has been extended through 2017. He also recieved a raise of $1 million a year. According to ownership, the win yesterday convinced them Marvin is on the right track. "The 4-7 is not his fault. Were happy with Marvins results" said one source. Another source said "Its not the coaches fault. Its not the players fault. Its not our fault. We have just had bad luck. We blame that bad luck on the fact that its a leap year. So we want to keep Marvin, because, well, were not good at hiring people, and, well, we are selling out with him, so why change?" To afford Marvins raise the Bengals have fired their 3 scouts and equipment managers. The players will now be required to do their own laundry, or for a $100 a week fee the Bengals will send out their clothes to Widmers drycleaners. They also are no longer providing food for the players. They have however installed a vending machine in the locker room. One Bengals offensive line complained about the vending machine prices. "$12? For a Triple cheeseburger? And we dont even have a microwave to heat it up". As for scouting, the Bengals will do what they have always done, since it has worked so well- they will get on message boards and scouting websites to see what mock drafts have projected and draft accordingly. Next year they said they will pay special attention to what ArmyBengal and DamienCasey have to say on BengalsZone.com. "Those two people have proved they have way more time than we do to do scouting. It makes us wonder if they have any lives at all" said one of the fired scouts. Another source said "These two people are the biggest losers we know. They should fit right in with our organization." Looks like Bengaldom is going to experience some sweeping changes.BTW being censored by ArmyBengal is not cool...he's abusing his Moderator privelages and should have those rights removed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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